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Struggling Less!

Eva Amurri Martino sits on the rocks at Compo Beach wearing a navy blue peacoat and striped scarf

The time has come to do a little mental health update, or a “follow up” to my January post.  If you recall, the end of 2016 was a Motherloving nightmare for me.  I decided to share my personal and family struggles at that time for a few reasons– firstly, because I just could not keep on keepin’ on anymore.  I needed to take a break from work and all of my responsibilities while I figured out how to get back on track mentally– and while I wasn’t required to tell the truth about why, I felt that the community of people supporting me and the blog deserved to know.  Another big reason of mine for sharing my struggles was because I have always been a believer in honesty and authenticity setting you free.  I knew that once what I was going through was out there, I would be forced to really confront it, call a thing a thing, and would have some accountability for getting help.  Keeping it private was helping me come up with a million reasons why my depression and anxiety “really wasn’t THAT bad”– and about a hundred excuses a week for why I didn’t need to make any changes (Not OK).  Lastly, I knew that there would be other people out there suffering just as I was, for similar or dissimilar reasons,  and I felt it was important to lend a face and name to what is (unfortunately) still a very stigmatized issue.  I’m so grateful to the people who supported me and held space for me and my family in their hearts, minds, and prayers during those challenging few weeks and months.

I was so moved by the HUNDREDS of Moms who reached out to me personally with tales of their own children’s accidents and injuries, and their promises that life does go on and hearts do heal.  Countless other “strangers” reached out to me just to offer their love and support, and many even included their cell phone numbers to reach out to them day or night if I ever needed to talk or commiserate.  I know the time and energy it takes during your very busy lives to sit down and write some kind and encouraging words to somebody you’ve never even met, and I can’t tell you how much those messages helped me during what was certainly the lowest point of my life thus far.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  While I am surprised by how nasty, bitter, and petty some people can be in the online space, I am always, always, always so blown away by all the love and support that people generally exhibit towards people in need.  Love is louder in so many ways, and it certainly was in this case.  I will never forget it.  I’m appreciative that I had another opportunity to learn how powerful it is to share your most vulnerable and heartbreaking moments– in order to remind each other always that life is a delicate, complex, but brilliant experience and that none of us is ever alone.

A lot of you also shared with me that you have been going through your own personal mental health struggles, and have asked me to share (when I was ready) what has helped me get to a better place.  I’m so happy and relieved to tell you that while there are always ways for me to keep improving (I have had diagnosed anxiety since I was a child), that I am in a much better place mentally and that I finally feel back to the Me that I recognize.  I’m really excited to share with you some things I did to help get myself back on track.  To anybody suffering in silence, please know that there is NO shame in accepting help, that the road is not as long or insurmountable as it seems now, and that there is the brightest light at the end of the tunnel.  Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety ARE REAL, they do not discriminate, and they do not just “go away on their own”.  I tried that.  I hope these ideas help you, but remember that everyone is different– I encourage you to get whatever help you need!

Eva Amurri Martino walks along the sand in the chilly weather at Compo Beach in Connecticut

Therapy

Therapy has made the biggest difference for me over the past several months.  As somebody who spoke to a therapist semi-regularly before I had children, I think that I was really needing to reconnect with myself and check back in for a while even before Major’s accident.  When I wrote the post about what had happened and the emotions and anxiety I was dealing with, a lot of people reached out to me suggesting EMDR therapy.  You can learn much more about EMDR here, but it is essentially a light therapy that works to open up both sides of the brain while you discuss your traumas.  Talk therapy only works one side of your brain.  This creates a more direct and encompassing effort to get to the root of the anxiety/depression/PTSD, and it also helps separate emotion from memory.  For example, before EMDR therapy even talking about what happened to Major would be enough to trigger a panic attack and put my anxiety at a “10”.  Now I’m able to discuss and think about what happened much more calmly and without it instigating more anxiety.  EMDR is used often for PTSD, as well as Postpartum Depression and Anxiety.  What’s also great about it is that you are able to get productive results in a much shorter amount of time than traditional talk therapy.  And a ton of time is not something I have, unfortunately! I highly recommend it, but if you try it make sure that you are working with a licensed EMDR therapist! My EMDR treatments ended a couple of weeks ago, and I am now continuing to see a therapist for talk therapy every so often until I feel I’m ready to stop.  I’m very, very lucky that my health insurance covers Mental Health issues! I recommend looking in to your own mental health benefits– I was surprised by how much my insurance did cover.

Eva Amurri Martino walks on Compo Beach in Connecticut in the winter time, wearing a navy blue peacoat and black wayfarers

Self-Care

Self Care was a major area that was lacking in my life in January.  I had felt unable to leave Major’s side and so wasn’t doing anything at all to nurture myself.  One of the commitments I made to myself in therapy was to start to branch out a bit, do something once a week that is just for me (a manicure, for example– or lunch with a friend) and to make a little more effort to feel good about myself.  For me, this means getting dressed every day and feeling good about my appearance, putting on some lipstick when I want to, and trying to get back to the woman I was  (and continue to be!) pre-children.  Self-care also includes making friends!  I had been feeling so isolated after moving to a brand new town so far from my support system.  Especially right after Major’s accident, I realized that when I was feeling scared or lonely I had nobody to call who could be there quickly if I really needed them.  This felt horrible! Now I’m making a serious effort to get out there and meet new people, and take the time needed to solidify friendships.  Kyle has been great about watching the kids at night if I get invited to grab a glass of wine with a new friend or go to somebody’s house for a Girls Night.  It’s a little intimidating to try to make relationships with people who are already so well settled someplace, but I’ve been meeting some really nice women and I’m excited to get to know them better! I’m also trying to make more time to call my friends on the West Coast more regularly.  The time difference makes it pretty tricky sometimes but I miss all my girlfriends back in LA so much– and now that I’m starting to come out of my shell it feels less overwhelming to stay connected.

Eva Amurri Martino walks by the water at Compo Beach in Connecticut

Childcare Support

The past couple of months have been about learning to let go and trust that Major is going to be OK when he is in the care of somebody other than me.  My husband and I both work full time, and so it is completely unrealistic (obviously) to be unable to leave him in others’ care.  Not to mention trying to do it all myself was literally killing me and making me stressed beyond belief.  We love the daycare/preschool that Lowie is enrolled in, and now we have transitioned Major there as well.  I love knowing that the children can see each other during the day and that he is in great care with a lot of safety measures in place.  I will admit that when Kyle and I get a sitter at night, I still tend to check in a lot while we’re gone– but I’m getting better at trusting that he is a strong little man who will be just fine.  Being able to leave the house with Kyle to do our own thing has helped us reconnect and feel stronger as a couple as well! Kyle has learned to understand and accept if I am having an anxious moment and need a little extra reassurance that our kids are doing well.  Postpartum Anxiety/Depression affect the whole family, especially spouses– so it’s important to get to a place of understanding about what our partners are capable of when they’re suffering.  To his credit, Kyle worked a lot to understand how “not myself” I had been and to meet me where I was instead of waiting for me to “get back to normal”.  This helped me tremendously.  Just knowing I can turn to my husband and say “I’m not feeling ready to leave the kids for dinner tonight” makes me less anxious than having to pretend I’m doing perfect all the time!

Eva Amurri Martino walks on the beach in Connecticut

Better Nutrition

Another promise I made to myself in January is that I would start taking better care of myself internally.  I had completely let my health slide, and most days I had to be reminded to eat.  I was that stressed!  I was just wasting away and didn’t feel good at all.  I am now taking vitamins regularly, including a multivitamin, a Vitamin D Supplement, and Omega-3’s .  Vitamin D and Omega-3’s have been found to effect your mental state in a positive way and I can tell when I’m consistent with these supplements that help me feel better! I’ve started to be more conscious of eating healthy foods that will make me feel energized and clear headed– like greens, unprocessed foods, whole grains, and fresh fruit.  I try to get lots of good nutrients from smoothies, too! Of course I’m NOT exclusively eating these things– everything in moderation– but I’ve noticed that when my physical health is good my mental health follows suit.

Eva Amurri Martino stands in front of the water

Physical Exertion

And speaking of physical health– I finally got back in the gym! Luckily we have a little gym in the basement that I’ve been able to use after the kids are asleep.  Just getting my heart rate up and my muscles warm releases much-needed endorphins and makes me feel so much happier.  I started going to Hip Hop dance classes at a local studio, too!  I used to dance (high school and college) and I’ve been loving getting back in to it, as well as meeting new people!  I aim to work out two or three times a week, and to get some kind of walking in every day.  There are beautiful beaches around us in Connecticut, and it feels extra healing for me to walk near the water.  I also stretch every day! I find that this helps me connect with my body and get out of my head so much.

Eva Amurri Martino sits on the sand and picks up rocks in the winter on Compo Beach in Connecticut

Continuing physical support For Major

Another amazing tip I received from the Happily Eva After community was bringing Major to an Osteopath in the wake of his accident.  One of the things that set off my constant anxiety in the aftermath of Major’s fall was how “easily” we were discharged from the NICU.  Basically they told us that as far as skull fractures and brain bleeds went, our son had a “very good” one and that he would “totally heal on his own” with no permanent damage.  They instructed us to go home and just continue caring for him as we normally would.  While this may have made most people feel relieved and optimistic, it make me absolutely panic.  I just couldn’t understand how my tiny baby could have had such a trauma and would be just fine without any follow up treatment.  As a Mama, I just needed something, anything, to use as a measuring stick that he was doing well internally and mentally.  I almost took him back for a follow up MRI! Luckily my (more sane) husband talked me out of that one. When I wrote my blog post about his fall, so many people reached out to me urging us to see an Osteopath.  I had never even heard of an Osteopath! (Read more about them here)  Basically, they are fully licensed physicians who have gone on to specialize in this type of manual therapy– emphasizing massage, mobilization, and manipulation of muscle and connective tissues, joints, and bones for optimal health or to relieve acute medical issues.  I did my research, and found an amazing Osteopath near us in Connecticut.  I reached out to him in an email describing Major’s trauma and basically begging him to fit us in to his very packed schedule.  It turns out that his own son had suffered a similar fall, that he did his own residency in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit,  and that he was very passionate about helping Major heal.  He has been such a bright light in this process, and has assured us with every appointment that Major is, in fact, so lucky– and has been healing and growing as well as we could ever hope for.  I’m so happy to say that Major has officially 100% recovered from his skull fracture and brain trauma.   Like every doctor I’ve met along the way during this journey, Major’s Osteopath has assured me that babies are built to be resilient and that our children’s ability to heal and move forward from trauma far outshines our own.

Eva Amurri Martino sits on a boulder on the beach in Connecticut with the long island sound behind her

Time Heals

When I wrote my blog piece on New Year’s Day, I felt in that moment that my life would never go back to what it was before– that I was irreparably broken and that the guilt and anxiety I felt in the wake of my son’s accident would haunt me for the rest of my life.  I think this is how people feel in their darkest moments– that there is no hope for light ahead, and that the only solution is to learn how to bear that darkness a little better every day.  My heart breaks for the woman and mother I was at that time.  What I learned during my healing process is that, while different people have different methods of putting themselves back together, there is a very real light at the end of the tunnel.  For me, the acceptance that my inner struggles were dangerous to me and to the future of my family was what I needed to rebuild.  I wanted to feel better and so I did everything I could.  But time does help.  The more distance I got from the accident, the more my hormones settled (I felt a HUGE improvement in my mood once I stopped breastfeeding, for example), and the more Major grew and changed– the more I was able to trust that everything was going to be OK.  I remember when Major rolled over for the first time– early for his age– and I wept because I was just so grateful that I had been given a small but important sign that my son was developing well.  Now, watching him babble and coo, laugh at us and at his sister, roll all over his play mat, pick up toys to play, and even start to push himself across the floor in a mini crawl (!), I can’t believe that I used to stay up late at night staring in to his eyes, trying to see any signs of brain injury.  It’s so important when we are at our lowest to remember that this is life’s great cycle.  There are always peaks and valleys.  It’s crucial to remember that every type of phase in life has its moment– the good and the bad– and to trust that another peak is just around the corner.

Eva Amurri Martino sits on a boulder on Compo Beach in Connecticut with the Long Island Sound behind her

 

 

Photographs by Stephanie Elliott Photography

 

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59 Comments

  1. Sue says:

    Eva,

    I applaud you for continuing to share your family’s journey-the good, the not so good and the less than beautiful. Thank you for continuing to bring enlightenment to Mental and Physical health.

    Sending love, healing and happiness ahead.

    You are a strong, brace, beautiful and generous woman, friend, daughter, wife and mom.

    Love to all,
    Sue

    03.20.17Reply
  2. Amy says:

    Eva,

    You are an amazing woman! I appreciate your honesty and love reading your blog.

    Thank you!

    03.20.17Reply
  3. Leigh says:

    Thank you very much for all that you do to help other people. I think it’s wonderful and I truly appreciate it.

    03.20.17Reply
  4. Shauna says:

    Thank you for sharing! Isn’t it odd how our hormones can drive so much! I guess not since that is how we are made, but geez! I didn’t feel myself until I had stopped breast feeding as well – thank you for sharing. I wish I had something like this when my PPA was out of control.

    03.20.17Reply
    • Yes, hormones are everything! I think we should start giving them a lot more credit, then it wouldn’t seem as shocking with feelings like this arise after pregnancy!

      03.22.17Reply
  5. Maria Gowin says:

    Eva – thank you for being you and for your bravery in the midst of this time in your life. I no longer have “littles”, mine are now 26 and 21, but my younger one had a fall, when I was not home with her, she was with a sitter. To this day it is a moment in my life that changed me forever. In the end, she was just fine. I however struggled for so long with so much of what you struggled with. I am so grateful that you have been so open and honest with what you have gone through and with what has helped you. I love that with you sharing this you are helping more young moms than you even know. You really are a breath of fresh air and in this day and age that is what most of us need. Keep being you!! Thank you!

    03.20.17Reply
    • Thank you, Maria, and I’m sorry you had to go through something similar. Truly the worst feeling ever.

      xoxo

      03.22.17Reply
  6. Eva, You are remarkable!! Repeat after me “I am remarkable”. I too, am saying that out loud. We, as mother’s, have to remind ourselves that we are incredible people. My daughter is 22 now. She suffers from Anxiety and Depression but like you said time has helped heal her. She is still trying to find her way. And my husband and I support every one of her steps. I am grateful she is my daughter and that she is with us. Her high school years were not kind to her. I have forwarded your blog post to her because you have to know that your words help all ages. Moms with young kids. Moms with older kids. Women with no kids. We support each other. We have your back. And I hope you know I am always here for you if you ever have questions from a mom who has been there and done that. My best advice, especially with girls, is to keep talking. And when they have a “feisty moment” step away and breathe. Don’t forget to breathe. Hugs to you sugar. Thanks for sharing. Robyn

    03.20.17Reply
    • This is great advice, thankyou! Wishing your daughter lots of strength on her own healing journey!

      xo

      03.22.17Reply
  7. Tara says:

    Eva, so glad to hear! I feel very connected to you, after struggling with very similar symptoms postpartum. I have a 3 year old and 7 month old. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading my own life on your blog ?. Keep at it, mama! Love your blog and those kids are too cute!

    03.20.17Reply
  8. Laura says:

    Thank you Eva.
    What a helpful read. I was tearing up but as happy tears just to read how much better you are doing. In a small comparison (not as traumatic in anyway) I moved to the other side of the world to be with my husband. I feel incredibly isolated and lonely sometimes. Its so difficult making new friends. I am also trying new things and dance classes and looking after myself better, it helps for sure, but its a process.
    I love your instagram stories, and your blogs. Keep doing what you’re doing, you are an inspiration. 🙂

    03.20.17Reply
    • Oooof, moving is so so so hard. I’m sorry I know what you’re going through. It does get easier, and trying new things helps!

      03.22.17Reply
  9. Areth Tsouprake says:

    Eva,
    Sharing your story gives me hope that things will be brighter in the future. Lots of women struggle with depression and anxiety. Hearing different ways others have found help really makes a big difference. Your openness is a beacon of light to so many. I’m glad that you continue to feel better and that your lovely family is happier every day.
    -Areth

    03.20.17Reply
  10. Christy says:

    You have done some amazing work! This is a helpful reminder for me as well as a full time working mom -outside the home. Moms are full time workers no matter what!! ?

    03.20.17Reply
  11. Bryony says:

    Eva,

    This post came right on time for me as I made the decision today to see a therapist about my own postpartum PTSD symptoms following a traumatic birth. My daughter is 9 months old and it has taken me this long to accept that something just isn’t right. As a counselor and mental health advocate myself, your vulnerability and honesty is SO huge for women who struggle to talk openly about what they are going through for fear of being shamed. You are a hero.

    03.20.17Reply
    • Bryony, I’m SO happy for you! accepting help is truly the first step, and the steps just come so much easier after that first scary one. I’m so thrilled that you are showing your daughter what a brave woman you are! She is a very lucky girl! xoxo

      03.22.17Reply
  12. Cat says:

    Eva,
    Thank you as always for sharing with us. I’m so glad you are feeling more yourself. It makes an incredible difference. My daughter was diagnosed with JRA (juvenile rheumatoid arthritis) this past month in her knee. She will be 4 in June and much like you described when Major was hurt I felt like I had let her down. Like if I had noticed it sooner maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad etc. It was wrenching. I’m happy to say she is doing very well now after seeing her doctor and having an injection procedure to take down the swelling. Now it’s a wait and see game and for type A’s like us that’s not easy.
    I will most definitely look into the light therapy you suggested – I think having someone to talk to will help too. I’ve done many many hours of therapy over the years and I think it’s a blessing.
    Much love you to you and the family.
    XO
    Cat

    03.20.17Reply
    • Cat, I am so so sorry to hear this. I can’t imagine what a blow that must have been. Of course it isn’t your fault, as you know. Keep reminding yourself that. Tell yourself every day. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past few months it’s that children are incredibly resilient and have such a life force inside of them. She will be just fine. But you need to get the help and support you need too! Good luck

      xo

      03.22.17Reply
  13. Shahed S says:

    Hi Mrs. Martino:

    I struggle with anxiety and depression. I have been my whole life. It is pretty frustrating, but I could totally relate to your comments. The theme that I got in the article was that a lot of people tend to think that these issues ‘fix themselves’. It could not be farther from the truth. In my life, instead of facing my anxiety, I would try to do other stuff, hoping the anxiety would improve. For example, I have social anxiety disorder, so I decided to go to Law School to help myself socialize better, Ha!
    Unfortunately, the actual issue remained, and all that happened was my head was filled now with a lot information. My point is, I liked the point in your article stressing actively facing these issues.
    Regarding therapy, one thing that I have learned is that no matter what advice other people give me, there is only so much they can say. It always gets to the point where I myself have to take that step to improve. I totally agree with you that it cannot be done solely by myself.
    One thing that helps me alleviate my anxiety is watching old sitcoms, lol. I always feel better after watching Cheers or Golden Girls. Anyway, I’m rambling now….

    Thank you for sharing, I love your posts, every time I look at your posts and pictures, I automatically feel better!

    Happy First Day of Spring

    Shahed

    03.20.17Reply
    • Shahed! Thank you for commenting, I’m sure a lot of people can relate to what you go through. It’s always so admirable to try and face our fears, but sometimes it’s also important to listen to that voice inside ourselves and give ourselves the kindness and grace that we really need. You deserve all the support for YOU that you need.

      ps- I also LOVE old sitcoms! For me it’s Friends…which is “old” now? ha!

      03.22.17Reply
  14. Kara says:

    Hi Eva, I also suffer from Anxiety & Depression. I have had my ups and downs. I have had a flare of it recently, but, it has not been as bad as flares in the past. I am on meds that have helped tremendously. I’m so glad you shared your story. People should be more open about mental health. I hope you continue to heal and make progress.

    03.20.17Reply
    • Thank you so much, and good luck to you as well! wishing you all the best

      xo

      03.22.17Reply
  15. Martina says:

    Thank you for continuing to share your story. Your honestly and truth will help so many and I am so happy to hear your little one is doing so well, he is such a sweetheart!

    03.20.17Reply
  16. Jen says:

    Hi Eva,
    Thanks for sharing your story. I have also battled anxiety and depression for years and have found through talk therapy that it has really helped. I have not had a panic attack in years through Therapy I am able to work through a panic attack. And talk my self out of it. Being a single mom also brings allot of stress and when my 11 yr old started having anxiety issues I immediately found her a therapist she is now 15 and still goes once a week and is doing great, and as you will see when your little ones become teenagers There will be a whole bunch of other stresses and anxietys they will go through.
    I’m so happy that Major is recovering and although you will never forget the day he had his accident it’s safe to say he will never know what happened. Keep up the good work and keep up your therapy. I love seeing your Instagram posts and reading your blog. I applaud you for talking about your own mental health issues. It’s so important to get the word out that there is no shame in struggling with depression. And just a little fact for your readers mental health care is covered in everyone’s medical benefits it’s part of the affordable care act ( ObamaCare)
    Be well.
    Xo
    Jennifer

    03.20.17Reply
    • Thank you for sharing, Jen! I wish you all the best!

      xo

      03.22.17Reply
  17. Sarah says:

    I’m grateful when women and mothers talk and open up about this type of stuff. It can be very isolating, even amongst friends, to have young kids and any type of mental or emotional stress and feel like no ones talking about it. You end up feeling so lonely. Thank you for being so brave to share something to personal with this community and I hope your healing journey and the journey we all share as women continues to bring peace, love and healing!
    Ps- I’m so curious about the breastfeeding thing you mentioned about feeling so much better. I’ve struggled with some hormonal challenges and mood instability (anxiety and weepiness) more so in the last year and I’ve been nursing my 3.5 year old. I thought I’d let her self wean but I’m wondering if there’s issues hormonally with prolonged kind of weaning period. She only nurses irregularly and at night and I’ve heard another mom share how she went through some major depression and anxiety while she was weaning. Hmm? Something to research more.
    Thanks again!!

    03.20.17Reply
    • Thanks, Sarah!
      Yes, very interesting actually my emotions went haywire right around the time I weaned both of my children. When I was full time breastfeeding it wasn’t as bad, but as soon as I began to cut down on feedings I really struggled. Obviously there are so many things to consider when thinking about weaning a child (too many to write here) and it’s a very emotional decision as well, but an interesting one to consider!

      03.22.17Reply
  18. Debra says:

    The multiverse gives you what you can handle! You are the best!

    03.20.17Reply
  19. Amanda says:

    Eva I am so proud of you! Love all of your advice here. I recently started with a therapist and I’m looking forward to feeling just a little better myself before I give birth in June. Take care, sweetheart ?

    03.20.17Reply
  20. Theresa says:

    Thank you for your update. I’m glad to hear you have found the help you needed in a dark time. Your words give me hope as well. . All the best!

    03.20.17Reply
  21. Rocio says:

    Eva,

    Thank you for your encouraging words. As I too have known that darkness to well. Wishing for you more brighter days.

    Sending love and health your way.

    Rocio

    03.20.17Reply
  22. Hey Eva!
    Awesome to hear that you and your family are on the path to healing after the trauma. I specialize in JFB Myofascial Release and it is an amazing compliment to EMDR- it is very similar to EMDR as it taps into both sides of the brain and the rest of the body, check it out! I’m sure you have a therapist near you! http://www.myofascialrease.com

    Best to you!

    03.20.17Reply
  23. Jamie says:

    Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing your struggles. I value your advice and your story. You’re a true inspiration !

    03.20.17Reply
  24. Alessan says:

    I am so proud of you Eva!! You are amazing!!! I just want to know, did you or are you on any medications for your anxiety and if so how are they working for you?

    03.20.17Reply
    • Thank you! No, I’ve never been on medication for my anxiety– but I know many people personally who have benefitted greatly from the right meds

      03.22.17Reply
  25. Courtney says:

    Eva, so glad to hear that you are doing better!!! I’ve been following your blog for over a year now, and although I’ve never commented in the past, you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers after reading about what you were going through. Thank you for sharing what has helped you. I’ve had a pretty trying time the past 6 months with issues at work and friends I thought I could trust. While it’s not the same situation, I think some of what has helped you will be very useful here as well. Thank you again for being so willing to share and let us all into your life!

    03.20.17Reply
  26. Natalie Lipka says:

    With tears in my eyes, thank you Eva. Thank you for sharing from the bottom of my heart. Your words are adaptable for women in all walks of life. I am not a mother yet, but you acknowledge everyone has their own struggles and that struggling is Ok! You are so real, so genuine. Your blog is one of the best parts of my day. Although I’m not a mother, and I don’t understand Post Partum Depression, this post is so relatable. We are women and we are never alone because of sisterhoods like this, blogs like yours that foster good and true thoughts that benefit growth and show us anything is possible. ?

    03.20.17Reply
    • Natalie Lipka says:

      Struggling is ok to a point* and seeking help is such a profound thing to behold.

      03.20.17Reply
    • Thank you, Natalie, that means a lot! xoxo

      03.22.17Reply
  27. I am really glad to see you better Eva,seeing you happy and getting into a more peaceful place makes me happy,we all have our struggles and we can overcome them,i admire your strenght and your honesty,sending my love to you and thank you for another wonderful post

    03.21.17Reply
  28. Holly says:

    This is such an honest and emotional post. Thank you for being so open with all of us and for bringing attention to mental health issues. You have no idea how many people you will help just by talking about how you have helped yourself!

    03.22.17Reply
  29. Melissa Lichty says:

    Eva, your words are beautiful and you write from the heart. I have two little one’s similar to your two, a little girl who is 2.5 and a baby boy, 4 months. I love hearing from you on the blog and instagram stories, your little ones are so sweet. Up until late last year I have worked full-time, but have taken some time off before the baby arrived. While my daughter is in school 3 days/week I still find me myself going through many mental hurdles, especially as I am still nursing. Some days I want to run and hide because I feel far from who I was… As my son recently started sleeping more at night, so I see things a bit more clearly and look forward to getting back to me a bit more. It helps me to know that others go through similar days and I will get through it. I love my family dearly and my husband is very supportive, but I do need to start taking more time for myself to find me again. I have started to go through the process of finding a new job, which is a job in itself, and brings with it lots of emotions. Thanks for being real and sharing what has helped you.

    03.22.17Reply
  30. Anna English says:

    I’m so glad you’re doing better! Thank you for the update, and for sharing the advice given to you. Much love ❤️

    Anna

    03.22.17Reply
  31. Jess says:

    I’m happy to see you are healing! In early February, I went through a terrible experience and was assaulted. I’ve also been going through the motions and all of this is reassuring to read. I’m beginning EMDR therapy myself soon. We all heal with time, so we just have to keep moving forward. Good luck and I look forward to future updates 🙂

    03.23.17Reply
  32. This is a beautiful post, Eva! I am so, so glad to hear that you are struggling less, and getting out there and finding your (and your families) happiness! Self-care and self-love are so important, and I look forward to your journey updates here on the blog (and your awesome Instagram stories!)!

    Sincerely,

    Lauren Campbell
    New Canaan, CT

    03.24.17Reply
  33. Heather says:

    Eva-

    I was smiling the entire time I was reading this because I and SO happy that you’re doing better!! And also SO happy that Major is 100%! You and your family are very blessed! Stay strong and never stop encouraging others with your honesty and strength. I LOVE following you <3

    Xo

    03.24.17Reply
  34. Audrey says:

    So proud of you and glad you are doing better! Self-care is definitely an important one! As a SAHM I learned the importance of that quickly. Motherhood can encompass our whole being sometimes and it’s hard to separate “mom” from the “woman” or “person” we are. Although it can be hard to make the effort to do something for myself, I remember the quote “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. If I don’t take care of myself, I can’t give 100% of me to my son.
    Stay strong! Us moms are in this together!
    ~Audrey

    03.24.17Reply
  35. Brianna says:

    Hello!

    I was just reading your blog for the first time. Mostly for your skin care tips as I’m 8 months into my 2nd pregnancy and have been having crazy rosacea! Such a confidence downer. Anyhoo, I just read this blog and wanted to say if you ever need more friends, we just moved to CT in September, and it seems so impossible to meet new moms out here, so I’m on the lookout too. We live in Roxbury CT. I’m not actually sure where you live. I have an 18 month old boy name Felix and second is due in 16 days! Ahh. Anyway. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts!! Thank you for sharing.

    Best
    Brianna

    03.25.17Reply
  36. Amanda says:

    Thank you SO much for your post. My little girl is about a week younger than Major, and I, too, suffered from fairly intense post partum depression and anxiety following feeding challenges and horrible colic. A few weeks ago, we found out our daughter needed a helmet for a flat spot, and it almost sent me spiraling again. I have realized how I need to start taking more time for myself, and your blog has reinforced that for me. Thank you for sharing your story!

    03.25.17Reply
  37. Monica says:

    I love reading about success stories of anxiety and depression, I suffer from anxiety (bad) ? But I think I’m gonna be ok! It’s encouraging to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Might try emdr! Happy you share your story, it’s hard to relate to others that don’t understand this types of conditions so reading about this, sometimes it’s like therapy specially coming from someone that has experience it themselves. Thank you ?

    03.27.17Reply
  38. Johanna says:

    I’m so glad you are doing so well! Thank you for trusting us to tell us about your recovery. As a person who has suffered from diagnosed anxiety since I was a child as well, I’m glad you were able to find the treatment that best worked for you. As a infant/toddler teacher I was so sad to hear about your horrible childcare experiences. I’m so glad that you have been able to build up enough trust to try again. Glad all is well in your world.

    09.17.17Reply