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Valentine’s Day as a Single Mom

Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day

The Holiday Season was particularly strange this year as somebody going through a divorce.  There’s nothing like a holiday of any kind to bring up feelings about what should or could be– and Christmas and New Year’s seem to be tailor made for Happy Families and Lovers.  While Kyle and I made the best of our Coparenting Christmas with the kiddos, and actually did have a great time, it was of course an emotional year with all of it so fresh.  I was happy to move forward in to this new year, with new hopes and dreams on the horizon.  Now, with the “Day Of Love” right around the corner, I’ve been reflecting a lot on my feelings about this first Valentine’s Day as a Single Mom.

Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day
Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day

I’ve always felt that Valentine’s Day can come with a little too much pressure.  I think the idea of expressing to the person you love (or like!) how much they mean to you or that you’re thinking about them is a seriously incredible thing– but the holiday has certainly taken on a life of its own.  Sometimes I think that people can feel so much pressure around Valentine’s Day that they feel paralyzed, and just don’t end up taking advantage of what the holiday represents at all. And I get that. I’ve definitely felt that in the past: either failure to perform in the perfect way, or the disappointment when my expectations weren’t met.  Instead of focusing on connection, it can be easy to focus on the pressure of the holiday itself and what you are or aren’t doing to celebrate.  I think because there are literally zero expectations this year for Valentine’s Day in my life, it’s almost given me a sense of freedom to just celebrate Love itself, and the connections I do feel.  

Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day
Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day

One way I’ve decided to do that is to lean in to the love and connection I feel with my kids and my little babe on the inside.  I’ve always felt such a deep bond with my children, and the past few months have only brought us closer.  I feel like going through so much has given us the opportunity to really communicate about how we’re feeling, what our fears are, and how much we care for each other in a much more open way– even though they’re so young! I’m so proud of them and I couldn’t love them any more.  They are truly my Valentines this year! My only plan this Valentine’s Day is to appreciate how lucky I am to have such a great bond with my kids, to just hang out, snuggle, read together, and maybe bake a little bit.  I am eight months pregnant. Ha! I’m also planning to do a little activity with the kids where we make a heart for each of us and all fill it together with words or phrases about what we love about each other.  I want to make sure that my kids grow up knowing that Valentine’s Day is first and foremost a holiday to recognize what is lovable about yourself!

Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day
Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day

And speaking to that, as a single woman who wants to find Love– I am actively manifesting my dream for next year’s holiday! I really believe in putting out in to the Universe what you want and need– and I’m a typical woman in my quest for love and connection.  I want to be adored and appreciated just like the next girl! I did an exercise a month ago where I sat and wrote for a long time all about how I want my next relationship to make me feel.  All about the connection I want to form with a partner and all of the details of my dream life with somebody from an emotional standpoint.  It was so freeing and interesting to dream like that, and to put it all down in a concrete way. I keep what I wrote in the drawer next to my bed, and I hope the sentiment behind the words seeps in to the back of my mind and sticks there to drive me through this next chapter of life.  

Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day
Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day

So, what beautiful Valentine’s Day am I manifesting for next year? Well, my dream involves an adorable man, of course. Hahahaha.  But seriously, what I would love most of all, is just to hang out at home with a man I feel really connected to– to cook dinner together, open a great bottle of wine, laugh a lot, and just enjoy each other’s company.  I’m manifesting feeling truly treasured next year by somebody I’m really excited about.  Period.  That would be the perfect Valentine’s Day to me.  Who knows what the next year will bring, but for now I feel good about being exactly where I am.  The truth is, I do feel so surrounded by so many people who I care deeply about and who care about me.  And that is so very lucky.  Wishing you all a fab Valentine’s Day with the ones you love! 

Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day
Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day

I would love to hear from any other Single Ladies who are planning a fun Valentine’s Day celebration. How are you going to celebrate? Please share in the comments below! 

Blogger Eva Amurri ruminates on being a single mom on Valentine's Day

Photographs by Victoria Gloria

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19 Comments

  1. Connie zagotti says:

    I have been a single mom for twelve years.i love celebrating valentine with my kids (they are 16 well almost 17 on feb26 and 13)I get them a surprise valentine plush some candy and have them waiting when they get home then we have their favorites dinner and just talk about life.family.etc.

    01.23.20 Reply
  2. Glenda says:

    I hope the dream you are manifesting becomes reality! You deserve LOVE and the emotional connection. xo

    01.23.20 Reply
  3. Kulsoom Jafri says:

    As someone who has been divorced for over 10 years and has spent many holidays alone, I admire your attitude and positivity. I hope you, and all of us single mamas for that matter, find what you are looking for as far as a relationship goes.

    01.23.20 Reply
  4. Anna says:

    I love this! Valentine’s day should be about love of any kind, not just couple love. I love that you want your kids to remember this holiday as that. ❤️ thanks for sharing!

    01.23.20 Reply
  5. Kat says:

    I have never liked Valentine’s Day. Kind of a day I celebrated with my significant other at the time etc but didn’t place too much significance on. Well, in 3 weeks from tomorrow, on Valentine’s Day, I am getting married! Valentine’s Day will forever become one of my most important days 🙂

    01.23.20 Reply
  6. Erin says:

    Your openness throughout your divorce process is inspiring. As someone going through a separation, I can definitely understand the tough feelings the holidays brought. Thank goodness those are over and we’ve got a blank slate for the year ahead. Thanks for the reminder about manifesting our reality and remembering what we want in a relationship. As for the Valentine’s holiday- I like your mention of teaching your kids the importance of loving themselves. How we’ll celebrate: we have leftover mini-gingerbread house kits, so I plan to buy candy hearts and Red Hots for them to decorate with 🙂

    01.23.20 Reply
  7. Sally says:

    You are an inspiration! Your spirit truly is one of a kind 💕

    01.23.20 Reply
  8. Fiore says:

    Thanks Eva you gave me a great a idea Of how to celebrate it with my kids and also to show them no matter what, they are their first love, i really wish you can find the great man you’re manifesting and you deserve just as you are, you are a brave woman we all admire you

    01.23.20 Reply
  9. Judi Orsini says:

    I am not single but I completely agree about expectations on specific holidays especially Valentines Day and New Years Eve!!!

    Even though I sometimes know my expectations are too high, it is hard to adjust after looking at Instagram, Movies and books!

    xoxo

    01.23.20 Reply
  10. Heather says:

    I always jokingly referred to Feb 14 as Singles Awareness Day and insisted that I much prefer the next day- Half Price Chocolate Day. At 51 – after many years as a single mom, I found a wonderful man and we spent our first VD together sharing pb&j sandwiches in bed. It was PERFECT! We have been together 2.5 years now and it is the best relationship of my life (so far!) I am hoping that you will find a great love to share your life with. Dating as a mom of 3 was hard for me but I did have a lot of interesting adventures. You deserve to be loved, respected and cherished!

    01.23.20 Reply
  11. Valerie says:

    There’s a great exercise I did years ago after reading a book about finding the right partner. You write down 5 personality traits you want in a person and 5 you don’t. You can only choose 5 for each category and they can’t be related to looks. It really forces you to think about what qualities are important to you so you can manifest it IRL.

    It worked for me. I am happily in love after never thinking I’d find the right person.

    I know you will find your match!
    Xx
    Val

    01.23.20 Reply
  12. Alex says:

    Hi Eva! I love your blog and your little family! This is totally personal but will
    You be sharing your birth plan for the new baby? I think it’s amazing how you and Kyle are handling all of this transition and am interested how you two will share that! Good luck with everything!

    01.23.20 Reply
  13. Molly says:

    I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day! I think the infatuation started in elementary school with Valentine’s Day parties and picking out the perfect box of Valentine’s Day cards! Regardless of relationship status (I’m married now), I’ve always seen it as an excuse to tell people in your life that you love them and are thankful for them. I’ll never forget Valentine’s Day my senior year of college. For reference, I was single and walking to a biology class. It was a requirement for my B.A., and I wasn’t thrilled lol! My dad called me and told me he loved me. Five minutes later, my brother called and said the same thing. So, I guess what I’m saying, regardless of or not you have a honey, it will be great.

    01.23.20 Reply
  14. Carmalita Jardine says:

    Hey Eva

    01.24.20 Reply
  15. Suzie says:

    Love this, Eva! And what beautiful pictures! If it makes ya feel better my birthday is actually on Valentine’s Day, so those single Bday/Vdays were super fun 🙃 just surround yourself with great friends and those wonderful children. ❤️

    01.24.20 Reply
  16. Echo says:

    I’m married, but my twin daughters are always my funny little valentines!

    01.24.20 Reply
  17. Zania says:

    I enjoyed the post and like the fact that you’re focusing on the love you have for your kids and loving yourself. 🙂 Valentine’s Day has always felt disappointing to me because I’ve never had a long term relationship. But one year I took part in a Valentine’s exchange with a Facebook group and we sent each oher cards. That was fun and brought a different energy to it.

    I also believe in manifesting. Good luck with your dreams for next year! <3

    01.24.20 Reply
  18. danielle says:

    I could have sworn you did a Valentine’s Day gift guide or something with rice Krispy treats as one of the gifts somewhere…. and I cant find it on your blog anywhere!! did you do a valentine’s day gift guide recently??

    02.06.20 Reply