63

My Plans For Where The Baby Will Sleep

Eva Amurri Martino sits in son Major's bedroom with her kids Marlowe and Major and ponders where the new baby will sleep when he arrives

Being pregnant with our third child has really been such a powerful mix of emotions.  Mostly at the forefront has been the excitement and joy of adding another little person to the mix– and that really is true.  I would hope by now you know that I tell it like it is! But I will also tell you that we are not, I repeat NOT, logistically prepared to have a third child.  I already wrote a blog post about how we have zero baby or pregnancy gear left.  Additionally, we have spent all our money on our new house (anybody who has bought and then renovated a home within the same year knows exactly what I’m talking about) LOL…but also crying. Lastly, we were not planning on having a third child when we purchased said house– and there happens to be no room for a nursery for the baby. Logistics are not the most prominent reason to do or not do something, and thus here we are. Ha! But today I wanted to talk a bit about one of the biggest elephants in the room– what are our sleeping arrangement plans for this baby in a house with no room for a nursery? I’ll take it from here, Joan!

Eva Amurri Martino sits in son Major's bedroom with her kids Marlowe and Major and ponders where the new baby will sleep when he arrives

I’m a strong believer that the kids have to adjust to the rhythms of what works for you as a family, and not the other way around– and I don’t at all think that kids “should” all have their own rooms.  Nor do most families have the room for each child to have his/her room! Actually, I believe that sharing a room for a while will be really helpful for Marlowe and Major long term in learning to adjust to another person’s space and another set of needs besides their own.  I also expect there to be some complications at times.  For example, whenever M and M currently “sleep over” it takes them on average an hour longer to fall asleep, since they giggle back and forth and talk for a while.  Also, if one gets sick, or has a cough, or needs night time attention, I’m sure that they will wake each other up and create more of a disruption than they currently do in separate bedrooms.  All I can say to this is C’est La Vie! Here is an overview of our five year sleeping arrangement plan…

Eva Amurri Martino stands in son Major's bedroom and ponders where the new baby will sleep when he arrives
  • Major’s current bed gets put in storage, glider and crib get put in Major’s former room
  • Major’s former room becomes our Nursery!
  • Marlowe’s bed gets put in storage, and we buy some kind of bunk bed situation for Marlowe’s room
  • Major’s clothes and belongings get combined with Marlowe’s and closet/drawers are adjusted for him. 
  • When the new baby is at an age where he can be transitioned to a big boy bed (We did this with both other kids at around 2-2.5), Major’s bed will come up from storage, and we will be putting another identical bed in the room for the boys to share.  
  • Marlowe will have her old bed put back in her room, and will no longer share
  • Cue all the problems I’m not thinking of. LOL. 
Eva Amurri Martino stands in son Major's bedroom and ponders where the new baby will sleep when he arrives

So there’s my big plan! I would love your advice for having two young kids (who didn’t previously share) sharing a room, if you have any pearls of wisdom!

Eva Amurri Martino sits in son Major's bedroom

Shop the look…

Photographs by Julia Dags

Share this post:

Leave a Comment:

63 Comments

  1. Amy says:

    We’re expecting #3 in November. While we could just give the baby the extra room, we like the idea of a guest room since we don’t have family nearby. We put our 4 and 6 year old boys together and our giving the baby what was once our 4 year olds room.

    They love sharing a room and are so happy to share the space, but man what a transition! They’ve fallen asleep great (thank you school for tiring them out) BUT the mornings are brutal. They both used to sleep until 7:30. Now they were getting up at 6:15, yelling, screaming, jumping on beds. Tons of fun for them, but not us! After weeks of telling them it’s not ok, behavior charts, reward systems…all the junk we tried, we discovered really good black out shades at a 7am wake up time did the trick.

    We’re hoping they continue to work together but in the event they grow and need their space, there’s always the guest room. 🤦‍♀️

    09.30.19 Reply
    • Hillary says:

      What brand of blackout shades?! Baby #2 coming in November and currently redoing a room. Thank you!

      09.30.19 Reply
  2. Kendra says:

    My daughters (4 and 2) share a room and it has really solidified the bond between them. I was worried they would stay up late playing and joking around, but instead my oldest kind of took on a mama role. If my 2 year old started talking she would sweetly tell her it was time to sleep. She’d even tuck her sister back into bed if needed. They have an alarm in the morning and they play nicely until it turns green. The only challenge has been teaching them not to wake the other one up in the morning, but I think they finally got it. We only keep quiet toys in their room like puzzles, stuffed animals, and a boat-load of books.Usually in the morning they’re so busy playing make believe they completely miss the alarm turning green. They are besties!

    09.30.19 Reply
  3. Emilie says:

    My daughter and son are the same age as M and M and we put them together last year for the same reason (cue baby boy #2). I was all braced for worst case scenario and I have to say, they handled it pretty great all things considered. And the longer they’re together the less they wake each other up in the night!! I swear they’ve become WAY deeper sleepers. Also we implemented a “lay in bed and chat time”, when the timer beeps after 5-10 minutes it was time for quiet and sleep. They really love getting to lay together in the dark and giggle away until quiet time comes!

    09.30.19 Reply
  4. Linz says:

    I wouldn’t do bunk beds if u have kids that get up to pee at night. I would do a trundle Style that can be pulled out at night and put away during day

    09.30.19 Reply
  5. Sarah says:

    What really worked for us with room sharing was my oldest ( 6) had a slightly later bedtime than her younger sister ( 3) … we did 7 and 7:30. The 30 minutes was enough for the littlest to drift off to sleep and big sister was sweet with her tip toeing in to not wake her! Hope this helps ♥️

    09.30.19 Reply
  6. Jen says:

    I think your plan is perfect! Marlowe and Major have such an amazing bond and I know they will LOVE being roomies! You’ll figure out your new bedtime routine with them sharing a room and it’ll all be great.this might even make them closer! And I’m sure major will be really looking forward to the day that baby bro gets to love in with him and he’s the big kid in the room.

    My two boys have shared a room since big was 3 and little was 1 and it’s been great. We actually have extra bedrooms but they prefer to share a room.

    Growing up, there were 3 of us in one room, 2 girls and a boy. All was just fine.

    09.30.19 Reply
  7. Hannah says:

    Our second just got here and when the baby moves out of our room the plan is for the girls to share!!

    09.30.19 Reply
  8. Brenna says:

    My husband and I live in a 2 bedroom townhome and our 1 year old son, Tommy and 3 year old daughter, Colleen share a room until we find a new house that better suits our needs. Our daughter has always been a dream sleeper and our son is not. We set up a small air bed in our master bedroom to use if there is a situation in the middle of the night like Tommy crying (for no reason) and Colleen can just come into our room and sleep. It’s not ideal forever but saves us confusion and frustration of where she’ll go in the middle of the night – without her sleeping in our bed. Good luck with the transition! It is fun for the kids to share and always good for the kiddos to learn to share space, adjust, and co-exist with the rest of the world!!

    09.30.19 Reply
  9. Debbie says:

    My two (boy and girl) shared a room from age 5 (eldest boy) and 2 (youngest girl) until they were 9 and 6. We found it to be fine after a settling in period. The novelty will wear off after a few weeks and they will fall asleep by themselves. But be prepared for disruption and a fair bit of bed swapping. Their room was huge so they were on opposite sides of the actual room too. We got them cabin beds in the end as well.
    By the time our eldest was 9 he really began to need his own space, if you know what I mean….Lil sis was cramping his style!!!
    We found it hard for the 9 year old to be on his own after sharing so the transition back to separate rooms was hard for him too. We found it was fine after some settling in weeks.
    Sounds like the boys sharing will be another issue down the line 🤣🤣🤣 but boys together is much easier to deal with later on for sure. You just make it work. Your lovely kids are so resilient and brilliant they will be totally fine. Best of British xxx

    09.30.19 Reply
  10. Shauna says:

    What about keeping the new baby in your room for the first year? We did this with both our girls as per the AAP’s recommendations for safe sleep. We just put their crib right next to our bed and then moved it to their own room once they were 1. It made for much easier breastfeeding at night too. That way you might be able to avoid all the room switching….new baby could probably move right into Major’s room when he’s one and then ‘graduate’ to his big boy bed when he’s ready.

    09.30.19 Reply
  11. Kendall says:

    Mom o 3 ova here
    Our boys shared when they where little we moved to a bigger house they got their own rooms we would find them together all the time . we moved back to CA and they went back to sharing they are 19& 20 now still living at home and still sharing that same room they did go from bunk beds to single beds late middle school. Even though they are very different children it has kept them close our daughter has her own room (she is 15) but it’s the smaller of all the rooms
    I totally get the going to bed part once the new wears off they won’t chat away i have one who goes to bed earlier than his brother and he is just respectful to be quiet when he goes in to bed

    Kids adjust so much better than we give them credit for by age 2-3 he and Major could easily share a space .don’t fret it will all work out and their bond will continue to grow

    09.30.19 Reply
  12. Brenda says:

    Oh this does take me back! We had just remodeled our house and our 11 and 13 year old boys finally had their own rooms! But guess what! Baby number 4 was on the way! We put the boys back together in the larger room and made the smaller room the nursery. They didn’t complain and continued to share until one of them left for college! It all worked out and what a blessing our 4th baby has been! (Now 35)

    09.30.19 Reply
  13. Glenda says:

    Eva,
    Your plan for the next 2 – 2.5 yrs sound perfect for the logistics and I’m sure it’ll all work out!
    Best,
    xo

    09.30.19 Reply
  14. Leslie says:

    I had three boys 4 and under. When 3rd baby came the older two shared a room and the baby got his own room. Worked out great because my older two don’t remember not sharing a room 🙂 however years later we have the room for all of them to have their own room yet they chose to all three share a room. I believe it all helps them all sleep. Current ages 11, 9, and almost 7.

    09.30.19 Reply
  15. Katarina Myers says:

    I grew up in shared bedrooms and honestly it was the best thing. I shared a room with my two sisters from the time we were very young until my older sister was about 13. Then she got her own room and I shared with my younger sister (14 months apart) until I went off to college. It made us the best of friends and honestly helped with the shock of sharing a dorm room with a stranger. Yes there were fights but I remember all the times we would sneakily try to stay up late and read stories by the night light.

    09.30.19 Reply
  16. Samantha says:

    I shared a room with my brother for a while growing up and what really helped was having a different bed time as one another that way most likely one of us was sleeping when the other came in for bed. Keeping the routine the same just sharing a room.

    09.30.19 Reply
  17. Melanie says:

    Better to have them share now when they’re young! I had to share a room with my sister when I was 7 and she was 11 when we were selling our house. I cried when my mom told me. My sister and I never had a friendship like Marlowe and Major though, so I’m sure it will be great for them!

    09.30.19 Reply
  18. Jordan says:

    I grew up in a 2 bedroom household with 2 other siblings. For the first bit of time my brother and I shared a room (and a full size bed for a while, yikes). Once my sister came, all three of us were bunked up until I hit a sensitive age. For that transition, my parents gave me their room and slept in the living room on a pull out. Can we say “parents of the century”? With that being said, those years with my brother and sister were so important and every time we get together now as adults, we reminisce on all of the silly times and crazy adventures we had together because of the close quarters. It was absolutely 100% character building and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Great idea, mom. You guys will kill it.

    09.30.19 Reply
  19. kate says:

    I mean- I love your honesty and I love following your life on your insta and blog it is really great. But sometimes I just have to say- it seems like you guys have a lot of money- which is very fortunate for you- a huge house with an addition being built, all tailor decorated with high end everything, two good incomes, a movie star parent,- I mean- where to fit a third baby does not seem like a legit problem for your house!

    09.30.19 Reply
  20. Lizzy says:

    Hi Eva! So we just moved this past summer and went from my two kids(4.5 yo girl and 2.5 yo boy) having their own rooms in our old house to now sharing. This meant my son transitioning “cold turkey” to a bed(they have a bunk, he’s on the bottom) AND sharing all at once! My mindset going into it was “oh! I shared room growing up that will be fine!” To be honest, we had no other option so it had to be fine! It was rough for the first few weeks because they were just not used to it, so that meant a very prolonged bedtime. We ended up doing books in separate rooms so there wasn’t so much chaos as we were winding down. One of us would read to my daughter in our room and then the other would read to my son in their room. Since he was younger and this bedtime was so much different for him, especially, I felt keeping him in the room where the new routine was happening was more important. My daughter seemed to be more flexible with it all. Usually I’d put my daughter down about 10 mins after my son just so things were quiet for him for a bit. but we are passed it FINALLY! They can now go to bed at the same time and it took a little over a moth to get there. It definitely gets better and now I would not do it any other way!! You’re kids will do great!

    09.30.19 Reply
    • Meaghan says:

      Did/do you worry about your son on the ladder? That is the one thing stopping me from setting up our bunk bed and combining rooms. Well, that and difficult bedtimes! Haha. My oldest goes to bed great since Kinder started, but my youngest has been napping at preschool and thus won’t fall asleep until very late. 😳

      09.30.19 Reply
      • Lizzy says:

        He sleeps on the bottom, and we just made it a pretty clear rule that he does not hop into his sisters bed unless we are in there. He is actually totally fine getting up and down himself, but we have that rule just so he knows when it’s bedtime he stays in his own bed. My daughter who is on the top is very capable of getting up and down herself(she is 5 in two weeks). She often comes into our room in the night and she’s able to get down safely on her own. We put a nightlight in their room(which they didn’t have before) and that helps them and also calms my nerves about the up and down in the middle of the night!

        10.01.19 Reply
  21. Katherine says:

    I am 38 weeks pregnant with girl #3 and we are currently in our 3 bedroom house while we renovate an 1800’s home. In the new house the girls will all have their own rooms but it might be a year before we move. For the first 4-5 months, the baby will sleep in a bassinet in our room. Once she grows out of that we’ll probably end up moving our 2 1/2 year old in with our 5 year old. I’m apprehensive because our 2 year old is a bit of terror come bedtime and our 5 year old sleeps so well! Hopefully she’ll settle down by then.

    09.30.19 Reply
  22. Calley says:

    We had various sharing situations in our house for our three kids even all three in one room for a year. Now the girls ages 10 and 4 share and my son age 7 has his own room. The kids are amazing sleepers because I think they got used to each other’s noise and not one child has ever woken up from a sibling being sick or coughing which has been fantastic. I’m a big believer in kids sharing a room at some point as it has really helped them learn about sharing, tolerance, empathy, privacy and being used to noise!

    09.30.19 Reply
  23. Ellie says:

    We had to do this exact same thing when we had our 3rd and lived in a city apartment with only 3 bedrooms. My only advice is to start the transition early and give in a good month before it really works well! We moved our 2 older ones in together a few months before the baby came so we weren’t dealing with big kids not sleeping and a baby not sleeping. One problem at a time!

    09.30.19 Reply
  24. Kelly says:

    Perfect plan!

    Suggest getting Marlowe and Major sharing sooner rather than later to iron out all the excitment and establish rules before baby boy arrives. We did this about 5 months before baby no.3 arrived.
    You’ll be surprised how they don’t wake up if the other does in the middle of the night, especially if you still use white noise.

    We only did books in their room as toys resulted in MESS for mummy to clean up every single morning. Especially with the rule of play quietly and stay in your room until mummy or daddy come in or the light turns green.

    Be prepared for one to always wake the other in the morning, ALWAYS.

    Goodluck!

    09.30.19 Reply
  25. Kelly says:

    Oh and start bedtime 30 minutes earlier initially to allow for excitement

    09.30.19 Reply
  26. Rhonda says:

    Could you not keep the new baby in with you and Kyle until he sleeps through the night and then put his crib in with Major? Then Marlowe doesn’t have to change and the kids all sleep through the night?

    09.30.19 Reply
  27. Irina Visan says:

    I love this idea! I always say if I have two kids they will share a room no matter how many rooms we have. I shared with my brother and wouldn’t change it! It really helped strengthen our bond and develop our negotiation skills lol! I am sure Majie and Lowie will love it too!!

    09.30.19 Reply
  28. Jill says:

    Kids are so resilient and adaptable! Sharing a room will prob strengthen their bond even more! Having them help ‘design’ the room and help with picking out gender neutral items that they’ll both love, will make it a fun adventure.

    It’s also a great way for kids to learn boundaries: both setting them and respecting them. I think this will be a wonderful setup for everyone!

    09.30.19 Reply
  29. Katie says:

    Our girls started sharing a room when they were 2.5 and 3.5 (they’re 14mnths apart)… and I love it. So do they! We have a lofted bed that has bookshelves on one side, a set of small drawers, and stairs that have drawers in them. This has been a big help with the storage issues when two kiddos share a room. It also helps that they can’t directly see each other. My younger daughter has a toddler bed below, so it cuts down on too much chit chat. They’ve been sharing now for almost 2 years and it’s been great! Even if one wakes up in the night (like last night with a bad cough), the other can sleep right through 🙌 The only negative I can think of is that it makes it harder to get extra one-on-one cuddle time with them because there’s always someone asking “Mom! Come see me.” But it will all work out. Congratulations!

    09.30.19 Reply
  30. Nicola says:

    I used audiobooks on a speaker via iPod. It was like the kids getting an extra story read to them (there are some awesome narrations out there). Listening to the story or relaxing music kept out some of the noise from the rest of the house as well as distracted the kids enough from each other to fall asleep.

    09.30.19 Reply
  31. Nora says:

    My kids are 8 (girl) and almost 6 (boy) and share a room basically from the beginning (they both slept in our bedroom during their first year). Each kid has their own bunk bed (where only one person sleeps up high and there is room underneath), which creates their own indivudual space underneath. The other sibling is not allowed there without asking the “owner”, they have their private books and toys and a table in that space. The rest of the room is for both of them :).

    09.30.19 Reply
  32. Barbara says:

    Staggered bedtimes and bed time routines is what worked for me when I had 3 in the same room. The oldest one would get her special toys and play quietly in my room while I got the second one storied and snuggled down. Special instructions to hurry up and beat your sister to sleep. Competitive little guy he was! My daughter would get her story in my room because she was a big girl and I knew she could hop into bed without waking her brother up. The baby would go down last. Little rewards (ok BRIBES) and lots of praise worked on the more difficult days. For the most part it was you get to read with Mama first and you get to stay up later was all that it took.

    09.30.19 Reply
  33. Courtney says:

    So when we bought our first home a cute little townhouse we only had two kids. By the time we moved out we had four. We moved last year into a four bedroom single family home, and my three boys actually chose, and to this day still share a room! We have a twin over full bunk and while they do fight, at bedtime they love being together. They are 9,7, and 4. My daughter is two and is a co-sleeper, but she’s my last so I’m not rushing her. There are enough rooms at the moment that each boy could have their own, but they want to share.

    09.30.19 Reply
    • Courtney says:

      Oh and I feel the renovation pain! We redid the entire first floor of this house! Took everything down to the studs and removed walls. Holy cow it is expensive, and such a long time consuming process (thank god for interior designers!) but now that it is totally done I am so glad we did it!

      09.30.19 Reply
  34. I would consider having a single bed for Major and Marlowe to share as that could be a good solution and maybe something that Major might even want to do in a few years with his little brother. Emily Henderson’s blog has a post all about this topic and had a ton of comments too. I reco checking her post out. xx

    09.30.19 Reply
  35. Brianne says:

    I’m curious when you plan to move Major in with Marlowe? We are planning to do the same arrangement when our third child is here, but I’m not sure if it would be better to make the transition for the older two before the baby gets here or sometime after, since the newborn will stay in our bedroom the first few months. Anyways, just curious on the timing of something like this!

    09.30.19 Reply
  36. Laura says:

    We’re in sort of the same boat here. Our house has only 2 bedrooms, plus an awkward spare room/office which has an entry from our garage. I am not in favour of putting our new baby in that room! Right now we’re weighing the options of closing off the garage entry, or doing an addition…$$$ Baby #2 is due the end of January, so decisions have to be made! Having had a missed miscarriage 2 years ago in a very similar situation to what you experienced between Marlowe and Major, I feel blessed to have this “issue” and we will figure it out! So excited for your family and loving being pregnant with you again, and following all this content 🙂

    09.30.19 Reply
  37. Meaghan says:

    I have a small 3 bedroom house, a 3 yr old girl and a 6 yr old girl. When I transitioned 3 yr old to a bed, I bought bunk beds (not currently set up as such). I eventually plan to put them in the same room so I can have guests stay and maybe an office for my work-at-home days. However, like you said, my children DO NOT FALL ASLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM. I guess they will adjust eventually? Secondly, I’m terrified of the 3 yr old playing on the ladder. Thoughts on this?

    09.30.19 Reply
  38. Lizzy says:

    No comment on sleeping arrangements lol. But, that pink sweater dress is so pretty on you!

    09.30.19 Reply
  39. ab says:

    My sister has 7 (!) kids. She has 2 extra rooms, but has the oldest 3 girls and oldest 3 boys sharing rooms. The baby still has his own room, but when she gets around to getting him a big boy bed, he will bunk in the boys room.

    It’s funny bc she kinda hated my guts when we were kids, but she now credits our mom’s Insistence that we share a room for many years as the reason we learned to get along. We are still very different, but we remain devoted to each other.

    09.30.19 Reply
  40. Maggie Gray says:

    I have 3 boys. We had bunk beds for a few years and I HATED them! Hard, actually a bitch to change their sheets. Really terrible if someone pukes up there. Also isn’t fun having to climb up when you are sick with a fever. And lastly heat rises. So in the summer(no ac) he would be dying and then again in winter. I had to shut their heater vet because he would just roast up there. If you have a play room where most of their toys are I would really just get 2 twins.

    09.30.19 Reply
  41. Vicky says:

    We have had to shift around kids and bedroom situations with the addition of our third. It’s goid for the kids to share at some point like you said and they will create sweet memories together. My only bit of advice would be if you have room to squeeze in two twin beds instead of a bunk bed.

    10.01.19 Reply
  42. Cs says:

    Wouldn’t it be cheaper to sell the beds, avoid 24 months of storage costs, and then buy new beds in 2 years?

    10.01.19 Reply
  43. Karen Martin says:

    Eva:

    This sounds like a great plan to me. If I could suggest one thing. Really think about the bunk bed situation. Having a child sleeping on the top bunk is scary and worrisome. Even with safety bars, as a Mom I was always concerned and the reason I did not keep bunk beds for long. Also, they are not easy to deal with when changing sheets, linens. BTW, when I was growing up I shared a room with my three sisters. We had one double bed and a bunk bed and wall to wall chests of drawers! It was very interesting to say the least. Good luck with your rearranging!

    10.01.19 Reply
  44. Rachel M says:

    I’m looking forward to hearing how this goes! I met my close friend’s in my old building right after they had their second baby. They were in a 2 bedroom place and trying to figure out sleeping arrangements between their newborn and their 2 year old. The baby slept in their room for the first 9 months or so before going into the kid’s room with her brother. They have been searching for the right house for years but it’s a struggle living in a big city where they have to be in a specific neighborhood near their synagogue. Flash forward and now their 3rd baby is almost 2 and all 3 kids are still in that second bedroom. It’s certainly not ideal, but it works for now.

    One of the big things for them has been letting the kids have different bed times. The baby usually goes down first and about 30 minutes later their 3 year old will go in. Then the oldest, now 5 will go to bed last. He takes pride in this and knows very well about tip-toeing around to not wake his siblings. Some day they might all have their own rooms, but really this works just fine.

    10.01.19 Reply
  45. Tori says:

    My girls (11y and 7y)have been sharing a room since we relocated to a much smaller house in a new state 4 years ago. We first did trundle beds in their room, which worked for a couple years until my youngest decided she didn’t like being so close to the ground. Then we transitioned to bunk beds. Which also worked out fine because my oldest was up top and youngest on the bottom. I also suggest (like everyone else) the separate bedtimes. my 11 year old goes to bed 30 mins later than my youngest. She is allowed 30 mins of TV or reading time while I do our bedtime ritual with my younger daughter, and then once I am done with the first bedtime routine, we hang out for little and then my oldest gets herself ready for bed and goes in quietly to lay down. This has worked for us for the last 4 years and when we recently moved into another house with 3 bedrooms, my girls still share a room because they like being together. We have now separated the bunk beds into two twin beds because that’s what they requested and it worked fine in our new space.
    and this all works for me because now we can have a office/guest space in the now “extra” room! I think your plan will work out just fine. It will be a transition, as change is, but it will help grow their bond even more! You guys will find what works for your family. And what works for some doesn’t always work for others. I wish you luck, Eva and congratulations on the new addition.

    10.01.19 Reply
  46. Emily says:

    As someone who shared a bedroom with an older sister (2.5 years older) for the first 12 years of her life, I can say that it was one of the most memorable parts of my childhood. There were of course struggles with spatial boundaries, arguments, etc., but when I reflect, I can’t remember one specific fight or recount any specific details of those issues. I can however, recall many very specific nights where we laughed until we fell asleep, snuggled and read books to one another, and came up with fun and silly games to play. Those memories are so vivid and deeply etched in my heart. So whatever struggles come with the territory of sharing a room, the bond and memories that result will be what your kids remember most and what they carry with them.

    10.01.19 Reply
  47. Katherine says:

    My older sister and I shared a room from the time I was a toddler until she went away to college (except for the one month in middle school when she “moved” to the guest room lol). I can truly say that it was the absolute best thing for our relationship, and now at ages 27 and 30, we are still the best of friends. It undoubtedly helped form an incredibly special bond by allowing us to create so many shared experiences. I miss our late night heart-to-hearts and “I love you”s as the lights clicked off and still feel a little off sleeping in a room on my own.

    Especially in a house where there is plenty of room to have some quiet personal space (everyone needs some alone-time), I firmly believe kids and parents alike don’t each need a room where they can isolate themselves away from the rest of the family (don’t get me started on man caves…). I’m so grateful to my parents for having my sister and I share a room for so many years, and I really think it was the key to our incredible friendship we’ve carried into adulthood. There is of course plenty of bickering in your future, but if your kids’ relationship is anything like it looks on your blog, I really think this is going to be amazing in the long run!

    10.01.19 Reply
  48. Elizabeth says:

    I am due 3/25 and just starting to outgrow my normal clothes and think about maternity clothes – would you do a post on good looking maternity gear? Or hacks for normal clothes that would work on a pregnant body? This is #1 for me, so I’m all ears!! Love the link sweater dress!

    10.01.19 Reply
  49. Katie says:

    My cousins, two boys (two years apart), started sharing a room from the time their baby sister was born. They ended up sharing a room until they moved out to go to college. They even moved into a bigger house and the boys could have split up when they were in middle school…their decision…they wanted to STILL share the room. These days they both have graduated from college and live in separate states. Those three kiddos are the CLOSEST siblings that I have ever encountered!

    10.04.19 Reply
  50. Lisa says:

    what about putting a crib in your master bedroom for the first year then move the crib into majors room with him once third baby is sleeping through the night. With my first son we lived in a 1 bed on the ues for his first year so we didn’t have a choice – plus I liked being close to him as a new (nervous) mom and it made nursing through the night a lot easier. After a year we moved to Long Island and he had his own room but with my second I still kept him in our room for the first full year – again full time working mom and nursing it was just easier getting up with him right there – once I stopped nursing and he started to fully sleep through the night I put him in his own room. I also gave him a toddler bed at that time – I know most people keep their kids in cribs longer but he was a large 1 year old (95th percentage in both height and weight – strange given I’m 5’4” and my husband is 5’6”). Plus it was easier for me to put him to sleep in a little bed vs a crib. What we works for you, as long as you give them love you give them everything!!!

    10.04.19 Reply
  51. Midge says:

    Growing up, I was the only girl but my parents got two twin beds for my room and I absolutely loved it! I have no idea why they went for it but it was so convenient when it came to sleepovers and such.

    10.23.19 Reply
  52. Rosann says:

    I love your plan. It’s perfect and makes the most sense.

    10.23.19 Reply
  53. Megan says:

    I don’t have any wisdom to share on the subject, I am merely a student learning LOL. I think it’s a perfect idea for Marlowe and Major, especially at their current ages. My guess is it will only make their bond stronger, and just in time for Marlowe to be ready to ditch lil bro in lieu of her own room when the time comes.

    May the force be with you in your journey!

    Megan

    10.23.19 Reply
  54. Jessica says:

    So my kids have always shared a room (2 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn). They are 2.5 years apart. I mostly co-sleep for the first 1-1.5 years. When we transitioned my son into the room, it didn’t really bother my daughter. She has never (knock on wood) woken up from his cries (I never try to “cry it out” so I get in pretty fast), and he has never woken up from her. Now at 4 and almost 2, they sleep soundly together. They would 100% share a bed if they could (currently using a daybed for them).

    10.23.19 Reply
  55. Jacqui says:

    So I just one child but love with my step dad so we share a room out of necessity. But i wonder a few things… As a newborn and infant, wouldn’t it make more sense to have the baby with you? Newborns don’t need much. You could have everything you need in a cady on your dresser. A moveable crib/bassinet for going around the house makes sense. When the baby sleeps through the night, have him share with major. In 5 years Marlow will be 10 and maybe not want to share with her brother. Plus this puts a damper on actual sleepovers.

    It seems to make more sense to keep the littles together and both boys. You can have baby in crib until he grows out and put him in the bed identical to Major’s. You can add a bed rail or I used the foam/round ones rather than needing an additional toddler bed or fancy crib.

    Honestly my son slept with me the entire time after 3 months when he grew out of his bassinet. He still does, again because we only have one room, but you don’t need fancy things for baby’s and kids and this seems the easiest and most cost and labor effective way

    10.23.19 Reply
  56. Vicki says:

    Very similar situation over here. We put a deposit down to build a 3 bedroom house which was perfect for our two daughters. right after they broke ground we found out we were pregnant with baby #3. About a month before the baby was born we transitioned the two big girls into a room together so they had time to adjust before the baby came. Our plan is to keep the two older girls together until our youngest is around 2, then our oldest will get her own room again and the two littles will share. We bought the Ikea Kura beds. My girls love them because they can be two twins. Bunk beds. Loft style. Very versatile and inexpensive for this season of our lives.

    10.24.19 Reply
  57. LKE says:

    My sister-in-law is a children’s sleep expert in San Francisco. She said that children sharing rooms can negatively impact the quality of sleep children get when they are in the same room. If there is any way to give your children their own sleeping space, she says to do that…everyone will be better rested for it!

    10.27.19 Reply
  58. Amy Slavitt says:

    I’m confused about something. You just posted that you have a guest room. Why can’t that be the baby’s room? Then no one has to move or be uprooted from a situation they are comfortable and well settled into–especially in light of your husband moving out.

    11.22.19 Reply
    • The guest suite is up some extremely steep stairs on another floor of the house. I definitely don’t feel comfortable going up and down those stairs holding a newborn in the middle of the night. Is that ok with you?

      11.24.19 Reply