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I want to preface this post by saying that all parents do things differently. What’s right for some families is not necessarily right for all, and it’s really important to listen to your instincts and to respect your own viewpoints as a parent. Part and parcel with that is also respecting the parenting styles of others, even if it’s not how you like to do it. This schedule is by no means the only “best way”, it’s just the way that works best for my family, and my kids. Please only take the advice from me that works for you, and of course, run any and all changes with your kids’ feeding and sleeping schedule with your pediatrician!
So, anybody who has been along for the ride on HappilyEvaAfter.com over the years, knows that I’m a pretty “scheduled” parent. Being a Mom and running my business hasn’t been easy circus to juggle, and I’ve found that knowing what to expect from my kids’ day (and my kids being able to count on this too) has really helped me stay on track and make sure that they are sleeping and eating at predictable times. In short, it’s saved my sanity! I’ve written blog posts on baby sleep routines, and on my solo nighttime routine with my two kids, but I thought it would be a fun idea to share Mateo’s schedule with you guys throughout his first year. Of course, like anything with a baby, this isn’t a perfect science. He/we have “off days” sometimes and what I do in those cases is just stay as close to the schedule as I can, and then start from the beginning (7am) the next day. It’s incredible how quickly and well babies and kids can pick up a routine, in my experience. Just stick to it and eventually, they will figure it out!
The First Few Weeks…
It took Mateo until about 10 days postpartum to regain his birth weight of 7lbs 11oz. Until he did, I was basically feeding on demand, which ended up being every two hours or so. He was sleeping whenever he wanted, and I would wake him up to feed. After he gained back his birth weight, my milk was in really strongly, and I was able to feed him a lot at each feeding time. At around three weeks, I started putting him on a feeding schedule of every three hours starting at 7am. The following has been his schedule as of three weeks old. I will address sleep after his feeding schedule! In general, his pattern is “Sleep-Feed-Play” for each cycle.
Feed Times…
7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm. (I will use the pacifier to help him get to the next feed time if he wakes up earlier than normal from his nap).
After each feeding, I burp him, hold him up for 10-20 minutes to help him digest, and then “play” for a while. At this age, playtime just means awake time. I will try to do some tummy time with him on his play mat, or on a swaddle blanket on the floor or on the bed (supervised of course!) Or put him in his bouncy chair for ten to fifteen minutes at a time. I normally don’t let him be awake for longer than an hour or so after a feed, or I find that he gets overstimulated.
Sleep Time…
After each portion of “playtime”, I put Mateo in his crib, in his room, with the curtains drawn and a sound machine on. I do not rock him to sleep! I also use a Summer Infant Swaddle Me Swaddle. He does not use a pacifier to sleep. He normally naps from anywhere from 45 minutes to two hours. I will wake him up to feed at his normal feed time. This is how I ensure that he gets enough calories during the day that he will sleep “through the night” (or fairly close to it). His last feed of the day is at 7 pm. At this time, I make sure that all signs indicate that this is NOT a nap. I speak in a soft voice to him, I give him a bath before feeding him, and when I’m burping him, I sing the same three songs. Then I put him down for the night. From four weeks old, he has been sleeping from 7 pm until around 5:30 or 6 am. When he wakes up “during the night” (aka before his wake up time of 7 am) I keep the room dark, change his diaper without speaking to him, feed him, burp him, re-swaddle him, and place him back in his bed. Then I wake him up at 7 am to start the day. Yes, I even do this if he has gone to sleep 20 or 30 minutes earlier. This is to train him that 7 am is his permanent wake up time and that this is the time we are going for ultimately. I have done this with all three of my kids, and they end up sleeping 7 pm to 7 am by 3 or so months old!
Here is Mateo’s Schedule for the day in printable format in case you would like to follow it!
In the next two months, my goal is to work towards feeding him every four hours instead. He’s starting to eat between 5-6 ounces per feed, so I’m noticing that he’s able to last a bit longer between feeds and is beginning to sleep longer nap times during the day. I will update you guys as the next phase of his schedule is solidified! Please post any questions you may have in the comments below!
Photographs by Julia Dags.
Thanks for sharing! How do you know he’s eaten enough at his last nighttime feeding where you feel comfortable with him sleeping through the night? Do you notice he eats more at his morning feed when he first wakes up? Did you ever do a “dream feed” in the middle of the night?
I don’t do dream feeds! I think this creates a habit to wake up just for the feed or to rely on that feed, but I do know people who have had success with it.
I produce a lot of breast milk, so I can tell from how full my breasts are before and after that he has definitely gotten a lot of milk. Also if he is sleeping through the night, and isn’t waking up to eat, he isn’t too hungry!
Thanks for sharing! How do you get him to fall asleep without rocking?
I put him in his crib calm, but awake, and he “self soothes” himself to sleep. Sometimes he’ll fuss a little before falling asleep but since I know he is fed, dry, and not sick I don’t rush to pick him up and he falls asleep on his own
Lovely post. Definitely saving it to refer back to.
This may be a silly question because with my first we had a few complications that lead to me not being able to breast feed but really hoping to next time around. How do you know how much he is eating each feed?
I pump when my breasts are full.(as they would be before a feed) and I see how much I pump in about ten minutes. The rule of thumb is that babies actually get milk out of the breast better than a pump so it’s a good metric for how much he’s feeding in as many minutes. You can also give a bottle once to see how much he will take during a typical feed
Hi, thanks for sharing! When do you pump?do you pump instead of a feed (and then give bottle) or do you pump after feedings (to collect any extra milk)? I have a newborn at home and I’m trying to figure out where to fit pumping into my feeding schedule.
Hi Jessica! Check out this blog post which includes my pumping schedule!
https://happilyevaafter.com/my-favorite-breast-pump-ever/
Our daughter is about 10 weeks and continues to wake in the night between 1-3 and then we wake her for the 7am feeding. Any tricks to get thru that hump?
I would say you should wait a bit when she wakes up at the 1-3 time before you go in. See if she just is used to the reflex of waking up or if she actually starts wailing. She may be just used to waking up and need to figure out how to settle herself down.
Eventually if it seems like she’s just waking up out of habit at that time (like by 4 months) if she is bottle feeding you can start reducing the milk amount at that feed by an ounce every few days. By the time she’s getting an ounce or so at that feed, she won’t feel like it’s worth it to wake up for it anymore and will go until 7am. I ended up having to do a similar thing with Major, who was always waking up at 2am at around the same age, even though he was eating about 6-7 ounces before bed.
Hi Eva!
I keep wondering: where is Kyle in all of this? I thought he was staying in your guest house and I hope you two are sharing this big load you currently have!
Wishing you well,
Alexa
He is back at his home.
Dear Eva,
I follow you on Instagram since I found out that we were pregnant at the same time. I also had a beautiful home birth.
I love your schedule and also try to follow an Eat-Play-Sleep routine BUT its seems to be impossible for her to sleep independently in her crib. I do swaddle her und put her in a dark room with white noise machine on but she will just cry until I pick her and nurse her to sleep. Do you have any tips for me to solve that?
Xoxo from Germany,
Claudia
Hi! How long are you letting her fuss for before picking her up?
She didn’t say fuss. She said cry. Is that how you tell yourself it’s ok to ignore your baby when he needs you… you tell yourself he’s fussing and not crying?
If he wakes after 45 minutes instead of a full nap how do you keep him on schedule?
I leave him inn the crib until he is crying (sometimes he wakes a bit, fusses, then goes back to sleep) and then I just keep him awake and entertained until his feeding time!
Why do you train your baby to cry? Sad.
Hi! Thanks so much for sharing. I just had my second baby boy and have been on the “on demand” feed (about every 2ish hours). Ped said I’m good to extend feeds (he’s 10lbs 12 oz and will be three weeks on Friday..chunker 🙂
My question is, about how long did he sleep through the night at the 3 week age? He’s given me some 3+ hour stretches so far. Just want to level my expectations as we start this 3hr feed schedule. And i know all babes are different just curious as to your experience. Thanks so much!!!
He started doing a 7-8 hour stretch at night a little before 4 weeks!
Hi Eva,
Thanks for sharing this. My 4 week old is nowhere near as scheduled as we have just gotten him back to his birth weight so have been demand feeding. Finding it hard to put him down for naps and at night time as he just cries. How long would you recommend letting him cry it out for? Also, when Mateo naps during the day, does he nap in his bedroom or downstairs?
Thank you!
Hi Karen! So at that age, I would let him “fuss” for about five minutes at first, then I would pat him to soothe (but keep him in the crib). Once he quieted down, I’d leave, and then wait 6 minutes the next time, and so on. Adding a minute to the fuss allowance time. Now that he’s five months, I let him fuss for up to fifteen minutes. He usually fusses a bit when overtired at naps! Hope that helps! Oh, I napped him in his room always, not downstairs near the action (but if you don’t have other children making noise, it is prob a different situation!) xo
Amazing, thank you so much Eva xo
Started trying a routine with my one month old today! He’s taking a nap in his crib, and I’m so thankful! Thank you for sharing this info, it’s been very helpful for this first time mama.
Question: how many times does he wake up/do you feed at night? Mine uses feeding for comfort a lot. How can I change that?
Thank you!
Ana
He doesn’t eat in the night at all, and hasn’t since about seven weeks. I would not recommend feeding to pacify!
Thanks for sharing! Very helpful! How did you transition from every 2 hours to starting at 7am? I would be so happy to get out 7week old to transition to 7am instead of 5:30. He’s also still not sleeping through the night but I think that’s partly bc he hasn’t been put on a schedule yet. Trying this week! Thanks!
Thank you so much for this – as a first time mom this really helps understand expectations of a foundation to grow off of!! Cheers from CO!!
Hi there! My little guy is 1 month old and 11 pounds. He’s waking around 2am and 5am then I get him up at 7am and follow the same schedule as you posted. I’m trying to eliminate the 2am feeding – or extend it to later and just have 1 wake up. he wakes up both times wailing for over 5 mins. I have tried to pacify. do you suggest giving him less milk in the bottle so he may lose interest soon? Thank you!
Which baby monitor do you use?