The following content may contain affiliate links. When you click and shop the links, we receive a commission.
A week ago, I shared in a Newsletter with my subscribers my most recent (and very big) news: I’m selling my home and moving! To be honest with you, it still feels a little surreal.
I’m feeling really good and hopeful about the future and this decision now, but it wasn’t without a TON of emotion going into it. It was one of the hardest decisions, but the simplest. And, now that I’m on the other side of the decision, I wanted to talk about it a little bit more. Sometimes big life changes can bring up so much, and really processing those emotions and being able to really “let go” can help us grow as individuals!
First, I’ll say that I’m completely in love with my house. I spent so much time, energy, and money to restore and renovate this incredible historical home to create a warm, inviting, and practical home for a family…all while staying as true as possible to its history. It’s been a REAL labor of love, and I expected to stay here forever.
However, as most of you know, when I bought the house I was in a much different situation. I was married, and in a dual-income household with a husband who out-earned me by a mile. Since getting divorced in February 2020, I’ve been SO very proud to keep my home on my own. But, I am now the primary earner for my family and a single Mom to three kids. When I decided to stay in the house instead of selling after my divorce, I was hoping to stay for at least one year. I wanted to have a bit of a runway before I uprooted my kids and took them through the process of yet another change. Then, COVID hit, and a really tough few years. I clung so hard to this idea that if I worked insanely hard, put everything into my house, and kept us here that somehow all of the trauma of the crazy pandemic times, and of the divorce, would be held at bay. Both for the kids and myself. I realize now how deeply, and unhealthily, rooted I was in that belief system. I was just so focused on maintaining as much “normalcy” as possible for my family, no matter what it took from me.
The truth of the matter is, I looked up a few months ago, and I was VERY unwell. I was completely burnt out and exhausted from working nonstop to keep up with everything, and it was taking a toll on my health, mental health, my life, and on my business. I realized that I had to make some changes and lessen the pressure on myself in a big way. Even though I had been making an emotional decision year after year to hang onto my home, I knew that the right financial (and life) decision was to sell it. It just wasn’t realistic for me to hang on to this home long-term. I had been doing anything and everything I could to keep this house, but I was losing myself and my daily happiness in the process. So, I let go. I realized that my worth and my kids’ happiness are not wrapped up in a piece of real estate. Even though this home will ALWAYS have such a special place in my heart, it’s definitely time to leave it behind. As I slowly started to let go, unravel my emotions, and process the decision, I started to realize how excited I was for the next chapter.
I’m so happy that Ian and I get to find and create a home together now. It’s going to be a fresh chapter for our family together. I’m looking forward to having more breathing room financially and giving myself more creative flexibility. I’m looking forward to creating more memories in a new space for this new era of my life. As much as Ian and I have merged our lives together into this home, and started the journey of our relationship here, it’s going to be really meaningful for us to have something that just has our memories together inside of it. The kids, who I was the most worried about, are sad to leave but excited for the adventure ahead. It’s made me realize that kids really just look to their parents for happiness and security and that making this change to prioritize our happiness as a family, and my stress levels, is the best thing I can do for THEM.
I’m also really happy for the family that ends up in this home. It’s truly such a special space with great energy, and I hope they find so much happiness here. Being an owner of a historic home is full of so many different emotions. I feel a responsibility to continue the lineage of people who see the magic in this place, and who really pour their hearts and souls into it. Refurbishing our home into what it is today has brought me a ton of joy, and I’m so very proud of it. I really hope that its joyful legacy continues!
We aren’t 100% sure where we’re going to move yet but have been zeroing in on a few options. We are definitely staying in Westport, which is a town I’ve grown to really love and that definitely feels like “Home” to all of us. I can’t wait to share more of our journey with you guys once we have more information! As always, I so appreciate your continued support, and all the good vibes, prayers, and luck to find the exact right landing spot for us. My belief system is this: In Love And Real Estate, What’s Meant To Be Is Meant To Be!
HAPPY for you, your kids and your relationship with Ian. Building a new nest…exciting…
I love this. I don’t think many of us realize how much our homes own us, rather than the other way around. Whether they are too big to care for on our own (always requiring outsourcing), or the financial burden is too large (requiring “big” jobs and so much time away from our families), your message is so important — consider the trade offs and what you may be giving up to keep it all afloat. I wish you the best and can’t wait to see what you do next!
Kids are resilient
They really do see “home” as family and their personal items
This will be great !!!
So happy for your family! Best of luck and prayers to you in finding your next HOME. xo
Very exciting and emotional time! I got your newsletter and was excited to hear more details. Your post also resonates with me on another level… “sometimes big life changes can bring up a lot to work through”… reading your candid comments on why/how you’re making and navigating change is really inspiring and reminding me that I’m not alone in processing big changes in my life right now too, so thank you!
Good luck on your move! You made such a great point about your house- they hold so many memories, but so can new places. Kids are so adaptable, too.
So excited for you and your family that’s awesome. You gotta do what’s best for you and your family that comes first.😃
Good luck and God bless!!
As a teacher, I so relate to you being stretched thin over the last few years. There’s never enough time, money, and energy. Bravo for setting boundaries when needed and creating a calmer future for your family. Good luck with the move.
So in love with the beautiful house you designed but I think you made an amazing decision. Starting fresh in a place that is just yours and Ian’s will be the best thing you’ve done. It will be a fresh start for the kids too and I know that wherever you go your love will go too. I actually had a dream just the other night about you moving into THIS house so it seems appropriate that you are on to something new.
Can’t wait to see the next place.
Congratulations! Very exciting! I know exactly what you are going through as I’ve been there. I too sold my home after my divorce the only home my kids knew ! I stayed there over 7 years after my divorce it was financially draining and I just couldn’t do it anymore . It was such a hard decision . I can’t tell you I cried so hard the day of the closing I was a mess! But fast forward to 10 years since I sold my home ! My kids are beautiful young happy adults with their own lives now. I moved from the town house in CT I was renting (after I sold my NY home) to NH and I am in the process of building my VERY own forever home ! I’ve never been happier and all the choices I made back than brought me to exactly where I am now! You got this Eva best Jen 😊
I completely get this! Good luck on finding your new (and hopefully forever) home! Covid messed $h!T up for all of us & we’re only beginning to come out of it.
I’ve been following you for years & you haven’t made a misstep yet. I believe in you & I know you will make the right choices! 💜
When my father passed away last Summer I had to move out of the 4 generation home we had shared. I lost my precious daddy but also the day to day relationship with my son and grandchildren. It was so scary! I moved in with my guy. I had been part time with him for 5 years but wouldn’t commit to him because being home with my fam was so special. Turns out- living with him has been amazing and yes, I miss my grands but we make an effort to frequently spend time together. My brother is buying dad’s house so I can still visit that special place as well.
So happy for you and your family. I am in the same place as you are. Recently divorced (finalized July 2022). As many memories as I have in my current home, I am looking forward to moving on and making new memories in a new place. I’m hoping to get that happiness back that I once had.
Bravo, Eva, for making this very brave decision and prioritizing yourself, your family, and your health/mental health! You are setting an amazing example for your kids ❤️ Looking forward to “following along” on your house hunting journey and seeing another gorgeous home that comes from your creative design genius 😃. You got this!
my best to you, Ian and family. I know you will create a beautiful new home.
I am so happy for. I know that it will all work out for you and your children. Best of luck to you all.