Telling The Kids About The Divorce

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Eva Amurri reveal how she and ex husband Kyle told their kids about their intention to divorce

The most challenging step in Kyle and my separation thus far, was by FAR telling our kids about our changing family dynamic.  It was the event that I was the most worried about and nervous for, and one of the hardest emotional milestones I’ve ever gone through.  But we got through it together, it ended up going well (although SO sad and hard), and going through that conversation taught both Kyle and I a lot about ourselves and about our relationship moving forward.  I’ve been getting questions from blog readers about how we told the kids, the language we used, and the approach we took.  While every family has to do what’s right for them (and for their specific kids) in approaching this topic, we ended up getting advice from a social worker specializing in the field for this particular instance– and I thought today I would share some of the things I learned about having one of the most challenging conversations a parent can ever have.  Our priority in all of this has been making sure our kids are OK through this process and decision, and I think telling them the way we did really set the tone for their experience moving forward.  

Eva Amurri hugs her kids Marlowe and Major who are dressed in Dalmatian costumes

Before I get in to individual advice points, I will say that a huge piece of advice we got, and that calmed my nerves a great deal, is that the actual “telling” of the situation to the kids is important (ie, the meeting when they find out)– but that the real experience they have with divorce happens in your behavior as coparents (and as a forever family) moving forward.  It happens in all the little moments of how you interact with both each other and them, and how you prioritize them (or not) in the aftermath.  At the end of the day, words are words, and they never speak as loudly as actions.  This little bit of advice has been so centering for me as I move through this process. 

I also wanted to say that I included these photos for this blog post of my kids playing for a very specific reason– not because they have been happy every step of the way through this transition (they haven’t been), but because playing and connecting with them, getting on their level, and setting aside time for that connection, has been so important for their sense of safety during this time.  Kyle and I both have been doing our best to create a lot more moments of this to ground them during what has been a challenging transition for us all.  We do notice that it has worked a lot to equalize their emotions and to make all of us feel more connected.  Just thought I would offer that! 

Eva Amurri hugs her kids Marlowe and Major who are dressed in Dalmatian costumes

Approach The Conversation As A Connected Unit

A big part of this is to have this important conversation together, if possible, and to give as much of image of connected solidarity as possible.  If it feels comfortable, sit directly next to each other, if it feels comfortable to hold hands or put and arm around each other, do that.  You don’t have to, but the energy of being a team and the two in charge really helps.  Set a warm, loving, but clear boundary.  You are the parents and they are the kids, and they will remain the kids.  Also, don’t allow any cell phones or screens in the scenario at all.  Everything turned off, full attention on the present moment. 

Eva Amurri hugs her kids Marlowe and Major who are dressed in Dalmatian costumes

Be Clear And Firm

My kids don’t understand the word divorce, so we were told to instead use the phrase “We have decided that we are not going to be married anymore.” But if your kids are older, the word divorce is OK.  The tip here is to present this big decision as a very tough but important decision for the family, and one that has already been made by the two of you. It is also important to be clear so that there isn’t room for interpretation.  I.e, it will not change, no matter what the kids say.  It is important for their sense of safety that you present this as a final decision.  Our “script” we stuck to went something like this: 

“Guys, Dad and I want to talk to you about something important.  We have made the hard but important decision that we are not going to be married anymore.  We care about each other a lot, we love you both so much, and we will ALWAYS be a family. But we have decided that it will be best for us and for our family if we aren’t married and that we change how our family works.  Mommy is going live here with you guys in this house. Daddy is going to live in a different house, and you are going to see him all the time. We will still spend a lot of time together as a family. Even though this is a big change, it is the best decision for us.”

By the way, this is one of the hardest monologues I have ever had to get through.  Saying it was an out of body experience, and I had tears coming down my face the entire time. Kyle took half and I took half of this speech, and we practiced ahead of time together.  It’s ok if you cry. Acknowledge that the tears are there because this is hard and sad.  There is NOTHING easy about saying these words to your kids. But being clear, saying them, and getting it out in to the open is so important. And the first step to a healthier family dynamic. 

Eva Amurri reveal how she and ex husband Kyle told their kids about their intention to divorce

Reinforce That The Most Important Thing NEVER Changes

The most important part of all of this is reminding your kids that no matter what decision you two have made, that there is one decision that never ever happens: the decision to not be your kids’ Mom and Dad.  We said this:  “The most important thing for you to know, is that even though Daddy and I can decide not to be married anymore, there is one thing that can never, ever, ever change– and that is us being your Mommy and Daddy. We love you no matter what, and we are always your parents, and that doesn’t change no matter if we are married or not. It can never, ever change.” A child’s biggest worry in divorce is that if your adult feelings have changed towards each other, that somehow your feelings of love and protection can change towards THEM. It’s important during this conversation, but also moving forward, to remind them often that this fear can never come true. 

Stay On The Same Page No Matter What Comes Up

For my kids’ privacy, I will keep their reaction to our conversation private.  I will say that it was as awful as I worried it would be, and some parts were even worse.  We talked for about twenty minutes all together.  Thankfully, we had gotten some good advice about dealing with the reaction. We were told that no matter what our kids said, it was important to validate their feelings, to tell them how much we love them, and that we are a family no matter what.  We also experienced some refusal about our decision.  We told the kids that we heard them, but that Mommy and Daddy thought a lot about this decision and we decided that’s what’s best.  We reinforced over and over that our love for them will never change and that we will continue to all see each other a lot, and be together as a family during the big moments. 

We hugged our kids a lot. There was crying. We told them a thousand times how much we love them and adore them. We reminded them that we still care very much about each other, and that this transition is to help Mom and Dad be as happy as possible. 

Eva Amurri hugs her son Major who is dressed in Dalmatian costumes

Transition Out Of The Conversation With Togetherness

Coming back to the idea of actions speaking louder than words when it comes to kids, make sure that the hour or two after the conversation is had is still focused on the kids and the family togetherness. After making sure that our kids’ questions were answered, we transitioned the kids in to some play time.  We played an hour-long game of Hide And Seek as a family, we ended up laughing a lot and finishing the evening doing bath time together and reading books as a family.  By the time the kids went to bed, they were much more settled down, and they went to sleep easily and happily.  After they were asleep, Kyle and I both fell apart a bit. The stress and anxiety of gearing up for that conversation had taken so much out of both of us– but it was transformative for our relationship in so many ways. It felt empowering that the people we care most about in the world know our truth now, and that we got through the hardest obstacle together. It really set the tone for our co-parenting relationship moving forward, and we continue to tackle the scary obstacles together, especially the emotional ones.  

I hope this post helps any families gearing up to go through this really challenging but powerful transition.  I feel exactly how tough this is for you, and I am sending my strength to you while YOU do this hard, hard thing.  It will be OK.  

Eva Amurri hugs her kids Marlowe and Major who are dressed in Dalmatian costumes

Photographs by Julia Dags

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  1. Lea F says:

    The way you two are handling this is just inspiring. Even in a really tough time you’re helping others with your advice and wisdom gained in a heartbreaking situation. I wish your whole family nothing but happiness. Keep taking care of yourselves and each other.

    12.11.19 Reply
  2. Samantha says:

    Thank you for this. As someone who had her parents split up when I was 22, through what was one of the worst nights of my life, I wish my parents had done it this way. Your words hold weight no matter how old the kids are. Dynamics of a family changing is never easy.

    I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this but I am happy that you are doing it now and doing what is best for your family as a unit. I admire your strength in every way!

    12.11.19 Reply
  3. Judi Orsini says:

    My heart breaks for your kids, although they will be fine. I was 12 when my parents got divorced and this was many years ago so not many people were divorced back then. I think Major is a bit luckier that he is younger than Marlowe so she understands a bit better the changes. I was VERY lucky in the fact that after 40 years of divorce, I still have never heard a negative word against either of my parents towards the other one. They always put us first!

    12.11.19 Reply
  4. Mary G says:

    Absolutely heartbreaking ?.I am so sorry that your kids had to go through this.It is so sad that you could not work things out but I am sure you have done everything in your power to avoid separation and remain a family under one roof.I did not understand though what exactly you said to your kids to explain the new situation especially to Major that might not be familiar with the meaning of divorce and might think that it is a temporary situation.Did you tell him that daddy will be living in another house and that you will not be a couple anymore, that you will be friends or something else ? I am asking cause, you know, most marriages hang by a thread, it’s not bad to know how to handle these challenging situations ?. I think that you are both remarkable to be able to communicate so well so soon after your separation when usually bitterness and anger have the first word.Best wishes for a happier future to all of you! (I am sorry if i am being indiscreet but I wish you gave your marriage a second chance after you give birth, pregnancy is such a difficult period for permanent resolutions).

    12.11.19 Reply
    • B. Griffin says:

      Mary, with all due respect, did you even read Eva’s post?!?

      I will never believe that kids are better off with two unhappy parents who live together, over two happy parents that live apart.

      12.11.19 Reply
      • Mary G says:

        This is obviously a huge discussion, do you really believe that kids are “happier” when parents live apart ? That they are not traumatized and sad and miss their father who usually leaves the house, especially when they are very young ? I am not talking of course about parents who have constant conflicts and yelling and fighting and cheating and create a toxic environment for the kids.In such cases a divorce is the only healthy option.I am just saying that sometimes people who love each other loose sight of their own relationship under the pressure of family and work obligations and disconnect,clash and might separate.Haven’t you ever heard of couples with kids separating and then after some time getting back together with a new perspective over things and living actually happily for the rest of their lives ? I just expressed a wish that Eva and Kyle fall under the latter category since as a reader I always perceived them as a wonderful couple.Of course they know better what makes their family happy.

        12.12.19 Reply
        • Kimmy says:

          Mary G,
          I completely agree with you! I’m confused as to how one gets pregnant and month chooses to break up a family. My heart goes out to the little one being brought into this situation. I’m completely rooting for this new family dynamic to work but can’t help to feel sorry for them.

          12.12.19 Reply
        • Cathy says:

          I could not agree with you more Mary G!!

          12.12.19 Reply
  5. Eva, this is such an incredible and emotional post. I can’t imagine what your family has been through and the fact that you have to live this publicly must be so incredibly difficult, but this post will definitely offer a lot of guidance and help to others. I also love seeing on your Instagram how active Kyle still is. Emotions are high I’m sure, but it’s so beautiful to see you both put your kids first and transition them in such a loving way. You two are fantastic parents.

    12.11.19 Reply
  6. Heidi says:

    I wish all the hope and calming peace for you, Eva. Just know so many of us are thinking of you and wishing and praying for you, for Kyle, and your babies. Just remember that happiness is fleeting, and it comes and goes with life and it’s many experiences. But, joy is deeper. It’s more abiding. Joy is the knowledge that even in the hardest of times, life is okay, people love you, and God is real and wants everything for you. My hope is that joy touches you always. You are loved.

    12.11.19 Reply
  7. Meaghan says:

    “It was as awful as I worried it would be, and some parts were even worse.” Well see this part made me cry already! I’m a mess and have been contemplating divorce for 2 years. We just started counseling together, but I feel I’m barely, barely keeping life together. I was hoping you’d at least give us some advice in this part of the separation and of course you came through! Thank you. My parents divorced when I was 15 and we had been begging my mother to leave my father for years. My situation is not the same as my children are 3 and 6 and love their father very much so of course I feel like the bad guy here. It’s so hard to also see people be negative to you or act as though you guys haven’t tried. A bad or loveless relationship can be just as detrimental to children as a divorce. It’s not easy for anyone to figure out the best path for all members of the family. Best of luck to all of us in this situation.

    12.11.19 Reply
  8. Michelle says:

    Crying reading this post, but inspired by the way you are both handling this. As someone who is not going through separation I still find inspiration in the way you are parenting together. This post has been a good reminder of how the way we as parents act and react towards each other is so significant for the happiness of our babes. Thank you so much for sharing, even when it would have been much easier not to. Wishing the 5 of you all the happiness!

    12.11.19 Reply
  9. Nayster says:

    Tugs at my heart strings! Have you seen the movie “Marriage Story”? Talk about timing. Those are all such great tips. Probably for any big change in children’s lives. When my parents split there was nothing i wanted more than for them to reunite. As i got older I was thankful they didn’t. My life would have been miserable. They are better off as just friends and i’m so thankful they always kept the peace. Even when they re-married.

    12.11.19 Reply
  10. Tyler Anne says:

    Oh Eva, what an emotional post! I can’t even imagine how difficult it was to go through it once, and then again in the writing of it! What wonderful advice you are sharing though and I think this has the potential to help so many people going through a similar situation! I think it’s very obvious that you are doing your absolute best to do the right thing for your kids. And the rest of us (who feel like we know you but actually don’t!) need to remember that you are a real person and we don’t know your whole story, nor do we have the right to know anything you don’t want to share!! I hope you feel the love and support that so many of us are sending out to you!

    12.11.19 Reply
  11. Mallory says:

    Big hugs to you all. Just because it’s the right thing, doesn’t make it easy.
    My parents divorced when I was 3yrs old and I’ve ALWAYS said the best thing they ever did (for me) afterwards was, they stayed friends and never once made me feel like I was choosing one over the other. Never.
    I will say there was a point, in grade school, of being very confused because I always saw them getting along and being friendly with each other. Never any fighting, so naturally I thought they were perfect for each other!!!! Lol
    On the other hand, when my parents both got remarried (when I was in the first grade), even though I was very much included, I felt like each of them were starting a new family. I was the product of a leftover family that was no more. But I love my brothers and sister I got out of those new families and it’s made me strive for my own little family even more!!
    All in all, I think I turned out okay and I know your kids will too. Just thought I’d share my own personal experience with divorce, I know you have your own experiences as well. You’re both handling it beautifully, it’s such a rollercoaster. Much love to you all

    12.11.19 Reply
  12. Abbie says:

    Just when I think I couldn’t love you and your family more! I admire your honesty, and relatability, this was incredibly hard for both you and Kyle and yet you’re still standing so strong. You should be so so proud of yourself Eva. Life is tough but so are you Chica. Nothing but love and blessings to you all. You got this Mama x

    12.11.19 Reply
  13. Amy says:

    This was such a wonderful blog post Eva and I can imagine very hard to write. My parents decided to separate first when I was 17-18 years old & much later finalize their divorce. They told me in a similar way as well even though I was much older than M&M. We had a family dinner – just the three of us (I am an only child). Such a transformative time in my life when I was leaving for University & went through a major first heartbreak myself. Honestly, it was really devastating even though I had somewhat prepared myself for it and I knew they were no longer happy together. Today, they as a parental team are much better off as incredibly close friends & of course still family. They were married for 20 years & built a life together, it was important to keep that connection in tact which I find incredibly inspiring. What helped me then understand & accept the most about their ‘uncoupling’ (stealing Goop’s term there lol) is that they each had a second chance at a happy life and we would always be a family unit no matter what. This past year my father went through chemoradiation after being diagnosed with cancer and my Mom was there for support every step of the way, it has been really beautiful to see how strengthened their relationship/bond has become as they move forward in life.

    All the best to you, Kyle & the kids! Xx

    12.11.19 Reply
  14. Claudia says:

    I cried reading the script. I can’t imagine the pain of that moment. I mean I can, because I lived it as a kid, not a parent. But then I was fine. Because my parents and our family were fine. I’ve never felt that we aren’t a family any more. We still spend christmas together and see each other all the time. Before your post I never thought about my parents feelings during that conversation. Now I do. Thank you Eva. I wish you and your beautiful family the best. Now more than ever I think your baby is such a blessing and that new member of the family will help Lowie and Major during this hard time

    12.11.19 Reply
  15. Jessica @marksguardian says:

    The only words I have about this post are .. THANK YOU

    12.11.19 Reply
  16. Alexa says:

    You guys are an incredible forever family xoxoxo

    12.11.19 Reply
  17. Fran says:

    Wishing you good luck with your decision to co-parent your fabulous children and hope Kyle is around when you bring the new baby into this wonderful and amazing family. You are a very strong women and I admire your strength and stiff upper lip especially while parenting your children at home and possibly alone in that particular day or moment when Kyle is not able to stop by to help. God bless you and your daughter and son!!!

    12.11.19 Reply
  18. Glenda says:

    Love & light during this difficult chapter. XO #foreverfamily ♥️

    12.11.19 Reply
  19. Nancy Aliga says:

    I have a stepdaughter (23) who was 6 when I came in to the picture. It took time at first, but her Mom, her stepdad, my husband, and I parent her together. She knows we ALL have her back and that we are a family. As a teen, poor thing couldn’t get away with anything if she tried, with so many eyes on her! She also “travels” with a large, very supportive entourage (graduations, soccer games, etc.). I mention this because I hope you and Kyle have the same wonderful experience we have, should either of you remarry, and a stepparent comes in to the picture. Bottom line, the adults got over ourselves for the good of my stepdaughter’s well being. That’s what it should always be about, the kiddos.

    12.11.19 Reply
  20. KT1818 says:

    My heart breaks for you. This is excellent advise and I’m glad you worked with a social worker. When you referenced that the social worker specialized in this particular situation, was that in reference to telling young children about divorce? Do you use the term “forever family” and what are the social workers thoughts on that?

    I went through a divorce and I admire you and Kyle working to be strong co-parents. However, it’s also okay for you to be really, really sad. And it’s okay if things also don’t always go so smoothly. Divorce is often the best thing for both people in certain situations, but it’s still hard. Especially pregnant with your third child. My heart breaks for you and I had a hard time reading that post, but I admire your courage in sharing it.

    12.11.19 Reply
  21. Ashley says:

    This is such an important conversation. As a child of divorce I will never forget when my parents sat us kids down and broke the news. As an adult I wish they would have handled it better. Wish the had something like this to read.

    Thank you for posting. ?

    12.11.19 Reply
  22. Sarah says:

    This post brought tears to my eyes. The grace and strength and you and Kyle are showing is beautiful. I only wish that all children could have parents as thoughtful and loving as the two of you when going through this life change.

    12.11.19 Reply
  23. Elisabeth says:

    You are class through and through. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but you are really impressive on how you are keeping your composure and doing this in such a seemingly amicable way. No one has the right to hear anything about your personal life, but what you are choosing to share is extremely helpful to others in this position. Thank you for the realness, and for being a role model for everyone.

    12.11.19 Reply
  24. Meg F says:

    I just want to say thank you for being so open, raw, and vulnerable. Most blogs or influencers don’t really talk about big life things like this, and it’s honestly a major put off for me. Life happens, we shouldn’t feel alone in our darker times, if we share all the sunshine. It’s so courageous for you to share your story, and hopefully it will broaden the scope and help others to be brave, so we can all find connection in these times of life change that aren’t so easy. I also want to say, that I came from a very dysfunctional home, where my parents were divorced before I was out of diapers. They did not carry themselves in a way that was conducive to my sister and I emotionally, and it made me cry reading about how your kids have the opposite of that. Every little one in a divorced family should have what you are giving your babies ? All love and light to you and yours ?

    12.11.19 Reply
  25. Jodi says:

    Oh my goodness! My heart is breaking for your kiddos as well as you and Kyle. Thank you for sharing this. As hard as it is, I can’t imagine doing this while pregnant none the less. The important thing is that you all are full of love for each other that divorce cannot change.

    12.11.19 Reply
  26. Laura says:

    Thank you for sharing such a personal aspect of your life with the world. This has to be so tough but I truly believe this post is going to help so many parents and children that are going through or will go through a divorce. My parents split when I was 17 and it was very traumatic because of the way it was handled so I applaud you putting this out there so much. Wishing you all the best! XO, Laura

    12.11.19 Reply
  27. Francine says:

    You are an amazing role model for your children. I don’t know the reason you are getting divorced but wish you good luck in co-parenting with Kyle. I also hope that Kyle be by your side when you bring another baby into this world to join the rest of your fabulous family. I see from all your Instagram posts the patience you have for your children even when you are parenting alone while Kyle is not there. You never stop and you make everyday fun for these wonderful children. God bless you and your family and I wish you the best of luck with the new baby coming very soon.

    12.11.19 Reply
  28. Michelle says:

    Wishing you and your beautiful family all the best.

    12.11.19 Reply
  29. Samia Byfield says:

    What a great example for parents to learn how to tell the kids and put them as priority . My parents fought constantly growing up and I was always afraid they were going to get divorced . They are still together(88 and 76 years old ) and still have the same fights ! I wish they did split up when I was at home coz I barely have any childhood memories because the stress of yelling and conflict was at the front of my mind constantly . I hope for only good things for you and your children as you co parent ahead. Such a mature stance with the love and health of your children as your priorities ! So selfless and I’m sure , while not always easy , so encouraging . Way to go guys

    12.11.19 Reply
  30. Anna says:

    You are an incredible mom!!! I am so inspired by you.

    12.11.19 Reply
  31. Terra says:

    So well done! You are so strong. Thank you for sharing. This will help many.

    12.12.19 Reply
  32. Erica says:

    Your advice has made my decision to tell my family something huge seem less stressful ? thank you for sharing … my news is something I’ve kept from all my family for 18 years I fear it will break my whole family apart and hurt the main person who it involves even more but the truth can only set you free and that is the most important thank you again

    12.12.19 Reply
  33. Suzie says:

    All the love to you and your family. You and Kyle are handling this so beautifully. It’s so inspiring! Thanks for sharing this deeply personal time in your life.

    12.12.19 Reply
  34. Gabriela says:

    I can’t imagine how hard this transition has been for all of you. I’m guilty to say that I’ve been following your blog for some time and honestly i hate bloggers i think they’re dumb but for some reason your family just always catches my interest and inspires me. I think it’s the unconditional love you guys have for each other. Obviously you only display the side you want the public to see, no one really knows what happens behind closed doors in your private life. And you’ve done a wonderful job of separating your blog work and your private life w the family. But overall i just wanted to say that, from my experiences growing up w friends w divorced parents, it’s always the ones that have parents that still respect and support each other that end up being successful in life in the long run. I love the fact that your instilling in your kids that just because mom and dad aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean you guys don’t care about each other. Because trust me, there’s nothing worse than being a child and watching your parents hate each other. I pray that when i marry i never get divorced but hey, it happens. And if it ever does, i hope it goes as maturely as you and Kyle are handling it. Yeah, things might suck a bit right now. But i can totally see you, the kids, and Kyle strive and build forward from these ashes. It’s a new chapter in life for all of you. But at the end of the day, the unconditional love you guys have for each other and the unconditional love that you teach the kiddos will benefit you all. Wishing you all the best <3

    12.12.19 Reply
  35. Gici01 says:

    You’re both class acts!!! Thanks for sharing the beautiful and the not so beautiful moments. Wishing your forever family the best.

    12.12.19 Reply
  36. Jen says:

    I’m still shocked that you and Kyle are divorcing. From your social media posts and the new pregnancy – it seemed you were such a happy couple. However, I am so relieved to see how you are working together for the benefit of your children to have a very amicable split. This should be every divorcing parents goals! Most splits I see are so ugly. Kudos to the both of you and bless you both. I wish your whole family continued happiness.

    12.12.19 Reply
  37. Kathryn says:

    Thanks so much for sharing. I thought I had missed something in between your decision to have a third baby and the announcement that you’re getting divorced, but I don’t think I did. Obviously this isn’t something you want to blog about now, but I’m sure that so many of your readers will be able to relate to your story or at least learn a lot about relationships from hearing about your experience and how long you were contemplating divorce (e.g., your husband mentioned imagining eating dinner together ten years from now and wishing you had a third child not too long ago). Best wishes through this journey.

    12.12.19 Reply
  38. Kayla B says:

    Reading this was hard for me since divorce is not a happy scenario but it was especially hard since I experienced divorce as a child when my parents split up. It was excruciatingly messy and difficult and the only way through it was divorce but man, if my parents could have kept all the messy bits quiet and presented divorce to us like this, I don’t think I’d be as bent up about it even now. I’m in a much better place with my parents than I was 10 and 12 years ago but boy was that a rough transition! God bless and I hope everything is going well with your new family dynamic and your pregnancy!!

    12.13.19 Reply
  39. NY Mom says:

    A single mom is a mother who parents ALONE with no partner or spouse. A single mother is NOT someone who has an ex-partner/spouse to share responsibilities, expenses, etc. You will get time to yourself when you ex has the kids. I get NO time to myself because I am truly a single mom. And trust me, I’m not the only real single mom that this bothers – we all go crazy when a woman – particularly one of means – gets divorced and declares herself a single mom. Try being the only provider, the only caregiver, the only decision maker, the only one that manages a family.

    12.13.19 Reply
  40. Deb says:

    You are an inspiration to all parents and children. The love for and protection of your kids comes through loud and clear. I can’t imagine how kids their ages understand the reality of your joint decision. I’m crying just reading this. Thank you for posting for others to understand how to move forward in love.

    12.13.19 Reply
  41. Jenna Davis says:

    Thank you for sharing this raw moment for your family. As someone going through divorce with a 4 & 2 year old, I know how incredibly difficult it is. I hope that their father and I can also cultivate a healthy co-parenting relationship through the years. I love seeing you and Kyle working together, it is inspiring. The hard questions don’t stop coming from the kids and most of the time I can’t hold it together but they are so resilient!

    12.13.19 Reply
  42. Debbie says:

    I commend you and your husband on how you handled telling your children. Though it still breaks my heart to see you separating, you seem like such a beautiful little family, only the two of you know why this is best and I wish you both the best as your lives, though forever connected, will take you on separate roads. I have been married to my husband for 24 years. I am a stepmother and grandmother and our blended family is quite extraordinary. I love my husband’s ex-wife, (I call her my wife-in-law) and I love her husband. We all get along beautifully. We spend every Xmas at her house with our grandkids and extended family. It can work if you remember your children and their feelings and remember that their tender little psyches need a lot of love with this new change. When there is more love, there is MORE LOVE. I sincerely wish you and your family all the best.

    12.31.19 Reply
  43. Kim. says:

    Eva- curious how you two decided which parent is staying in the home. Thanks!

    01.07.20 Reply
  44. Caitlin Dunbar says:

    Wow!… is all I can say. In the least patronising way possible, I’m so proud of you both. You just seem to be handling this in the best way you possibly could. I’ve no doubt that Marlowe and Major will love, appreciate and ultimately benefit from how you’re tackling this change in their lives. Plus – I feel like going to NYC for Dad weekends is going to seem like the best thing ever one day, as well as knowing Mummy is at home waiting with open arms. Sending so much love from Scotland, UK xxxx

    01.09.20 Reply
  45. Karin says:

    Dear Eva, I cried reading your story, because I neither heard words like that when my parents split up, nor me and my exhusband were able to handle our divorce mature and respectfully like you guys did. I feel happy for you and your family and all the other couples on this planet who manage to react and deal with divorce in a similar way. Thank you for sharing this very private issue with the world. And ALL THE BEST!

    01.24.20 Reply