40

Disciplining A Toddler

The following content may contain affiliate links. When you click and shop the links, we receive a commission.

Marlowe Martino sticks her tongue out on the hearth of the fireplace in the family room of her Connecticut home

A question I get a lot from readers of the blog (and viewers of my social media) is how I manage to keep my toddler “under control” and well behaved a lot of the time.  It’s a longer answer, so I wanted to write a post about it, and share my own method for creating a structure of expectations and discipline in our home that really works for us.  Like with anything I share, this parenting strategy is what works FOR US– but it is by no means the only “right way”.  I’m a big advocate for doing what feels right and gets good results within the structure of your own family.  I do think that hearing about the parenting methods other people use can be really great tools for figuring out what speaks to you personally (or not).  Like with anything on this site, take the parts that speak to you, and ignore the rest!

Marlowe Martino wears an embroidered dress and sits in a striped armchair in the family room of her Connecticut home

Marlowe Martino wears an embroidered dress and sits in a striped armchair in the family room of her Connecticut home

 

When I was pregnant with Marlowe, I read a book called “Bringing Up Bébé” that I absolutely loved– and that ended up being a cornerstone for my parenting strategy going forward.  The American author wrote about her parenting experience in France– learning and watching the way that Europeans parent their children.  Ultimately, she explores this idea of “the well-behaved” and well-adjusted child, and what the catalysts are for that.  Having grown up half in the United States, and half in Italy, I could really relate to a lot of what she was talking about– but more than anything the parenting “vibe” that she was describing really spoke to me.  It’s definitely worth reading the book if you’re interested (I’m not going to paraphrase the entire thing here) but I absolutely loved the idea of trying to raise kids that enjoy all the wonders and excitements and wildness of being children, but that are also polite, structured, and well-behaved members of society.  The author argues (and now that I have two children I tend to agree) that this combination is completely possible, but takes a lot of structure, resilience, strength, and a total lack of laziness on the part of the parent.  If you build it, you can achieve it.

Marlowe Martino wears an embroidered dress and sits in a striped armchair in the family room of her Connecticut home

As Marlowe grew from a baby to a toddler, I thought a lot about structure and discipline.  About the dichotomy of allowing our children to be children, but also having behavioral expectations that they are aware of in order to create a structure that allows them to blossom and mature and learn. I am IN NO WAY a perfect parent.  No waaaayy.  But one thing that I’m proud of is that I’ve really stuck with the objective I set out with before I had kids: that Kyle and I make the rules, our kids know it, and they listen. Period.

Part of this has been identify what the rules are.  A really valuable tool that I got from “Bringing Up Bébé” is the idea that kids can only identify and respond to rules if there aren’t too many of them.  Decide what the four or five absolute deal breakers are, and stick to them.  These are the “NO’s”. Outside of that, you can use more encouraging language like “Let’s not do that right now,” or “I don’t think that’s a great idea.” But those agreed upon list of NO’s illicit a sharp “NO!” immediately.  Outside of that, the French call childish behavior “betises” (which roughly translates in to “little foolish things”)  Marlowe does A LOT of betises.  She challenges me, looks me right in the eyes while she does things that make me nervous, teases me, talks in a loud voice, is sneaky, stomps around, tosses things in the air, says provocative things, etc.  And I let her do them.  Because she and I both know that the ACTUAL important things I care about will get a big “NO!” if she goes there.  It’s a give and take of power that kids really respond to.  I like that I’m not constantly saying “NO, Marlowe, No Marlowe, No Marlowe” like a broken record.  And I like that she gets to play around with her own boundaries while also knowing that if she goes too far I will reel her in. Of course, as kids grow, your list of NO’s changes.

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in a striped armchair in the family room of their Connecticut home

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in a striped armchair in the family room of their Connecticut home

For example, when Marlowe was around 9 months old, Kyle and I decided what our list of No’s would be.  We agreed they would be: 1. Purposefully harming somebody (hitting, biting, kicking, etc) 2. Grabbing an electronic cord of any kind 3. Putting a small object in to her mouth 4. Approaching stairs 5. Touching the Television or cable box (at the time it was on a media console low-ish to the ground). Any time she would do one of those five things, she would hear a firm and sharp “NO”.  Not yelling, but a different voice that she normally hears.  A NOT-HAPPY VOICE.  Sometimes I think a mistake a lot of people make is saying the word “No”, but in a sing song voice or a voice that is not clear that the indication of one of negative behavior.  Unless I say “No” in a voice that means business, I never say that word.  I think it makes for less confusion.  “No” should never sound like Maybe! LOL. She learned very very quickly.  Since this was in place, it made discipline a lot easier whenever we had to start that when Marlowe became a toddler.  Any time that Marlowe did something that she wasn’t supposed to do, we disciplined her with a Time Out.

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in a striped armchair in the family room of their Connecticut home

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in a striped armchair in the family room of their Connecticut home

I’ve learned that Time Outs are somewhat controversial these days (and yes I’ve read up on it, no need to write the fine points of the argument in the comments section), but all I can say is they REALLY work for us.  They’re a simple consequence that for some reason (?) children want to avoid like the plague. I love them.  I had expected to start Time Outs somewhere around Two years old, but I actually ended up starting them around 22 months because Marlowe went through a seriously testy phase around then.  I could tell that she was with it and aware enough to understand Time Out, so I decided to try it.  I developed my Time Out tactic at this time, and it’s remained relatively unchanged ever since. My approach was giving 1 (ONE) warning, and if she did it again, I would put her directly in time out.  NOTE: Clearly unacceptable behavior, such as harming another person, would land her in time out without a warning.

How I give a time out…

  • Give one warning in a calm but firm voice.  Not one and a half, not two, not three.  ONE. (I put this reminder here because Kyle has been known to give a warning for Time Out…and then another…and another…and another…LOL) Follow-through is key if they are going to ever take you seriously. Example of a warning: “Marlowe, if you throw one more toy at the window, you are going in to Time Out.”
  • If the warning is not heeded and the behavior continues, calmly and without talking about it remove the child immediately from where they are and gently place them in the “Time Out Spot”.
  • The Time Out Spot: I highly recommend choosing a corner of the room, on the floor, preferably on a rug (in my experience, they tend to flail and tantrum A LOT in the beginning of using Time Outs).  Our Time Out spot in this house is in a corner of the kitchen/playroom area where I can keep an eye on her during her time.
  • Set a timer, and tell them they are in Time Out for (blank) minutes.  Example: “You are in Time Out for two minutes”.  One minute for each year they are old.  We recently graduated to three minute Time Outs, and Marlowe has definitely noticed the upgrade (“Mom, I’ve been in here FOREVER! Did you set the alarm?” LOL)
  • During the Time Out, do not talk to the child.  At all.  Ignore.  They might cry, they might thrash, they might scream, they might say a litany of horrible things to you (you should hear the things that come out of Marlowe’s mouth during time out these days), but do not under any circumstances Bite the proverbial Worm. This is their process. Keep an eye on them out of the corner of your eye, but just ignore them.  DEFINITELY don’t try to use this time to drive home the point about why they are in Time Out.  Just ride it out.
  • If they leave Time Out during this time, calmly and without talking return them to Time Out.  Just pick them up and carry them back. Reset the timer.  If they are not experienced enough with Time Out yet to know you are doing this, calmly tell them “You left Time Out so I’m resetting the timer now”.  If they leave again, repeat again.  Repeat forever until the child completes the full time on the timer.
  • When the timer alarm goes off, calmly approach the child.  Calmly and firmly ask them to please look at you in your eyes.  You make have to repeat this a few times before they do it sometimes, especially with older kids.  When you have eye contact, create a resolution.  It is three steps and goes like this: 1. Tell them in the simplest terms why they are in Time Out 2. Tell them that the behavior is unacceptable, and why 3. Ask for an apology.  Example: “Marlowe, you are in Time Out because you threw a toy at your brother.  That behavior is unacceptable because toys are hard and you could really hurt him. Do you understand that? (wait for acknowledgement) Please say you’re sorry.”
  • When they say sorry, give them Love.  After Marlowe apologizes, I wrap her in a big hug and say “Thank you, I love you.” The positive reinforcement after they have served the consequence reminds them that they are loved and shows that even when you’re being tough that it is in their best interest.
  • Move on– literally and emotionally.  Don’t beat a dead horse.  After a kid has done Time Out for something, you don’t have to remind them of their bad behavior all day long.  Everyone can move forward…until the next thing! LOL
  • NOTE: Issue and complete Time Outs REGARDLESS OF WHERE YOU ARE.  I don’t care if we are at a birthday party, in a crowded store, at the zoo, on Mount Everest.  If she acts out, she gets a Time Out in a secluded area and the whole thing goes the same way– no matter what. And she knows that.

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in a striped armchair in the family room of their Connecticut home

At first when I started Time Outs with Marlowe, it was a mess.  I had to bring her back to the corner a few times each Time Out, restart the clock, etc.  She would kick and thrash and scream, and on and on.  But pretty soon, she started using it as the time when she would get all her angst out.  She would get put in Time Out and cry and cry and sob the whole two minutes, until the alarm would go off and she would immediately quiet down and wait for me to approach her for the resolution.  After about six months of Time Out, she would offer ME the reason why she was in Time Out, instead of the other way around.  I’ve watched her grow and mature so much as she begins to understand consequences.  Now when she misbehaves, she starts wandering over towards the Time Out corner herself! So much so that I will see her near there with a guilty look on her face and will flat out ask her what she did wrong: “I just drew on the wall a little with a marker Mom…I’m going to Time Out myself!” LOL.

Once the broad strokes of behavior were under control, we began fine-tuning and working on the more subtle aspects– like Manners.  I find that once your kids know that you expect a certain class of behavior from them, it is easier for them to understand expectation for manners and the way that you interact with others.  I’m very particular about manners, and expect Marlowe to always say “please” and “thank you”– and “Excuse me” if she would like to interrupt somebody when they are talking. If she misses it, I ask her to repeat it.  Every single time.  I also reinforce that she must say “May I please be excused?” (and wait for an answer) before she leaves the table after meals.  She is far from perfect with all of this, but I’m really proud of how great she’s been with her manners lately. I think we’ve had success with her with this because we are also courteous with HER.  If I ask her to do something, I always say please and thank you myself.  Kyle and I say please, and thank you, and excuse me to each other around her, too.  You can try to get a child to be polite until you’re blue in the face, but unless they are looking at you and seeing you exhibiting the same behavior they will never really learn. It’s been a great excuse for Kyle and I to try to treat each other with a lot more politeness as well– a nice exercise to do when you’ve been married for a while, I think! Ha!

Marlowe Martino whispers a secret in to her Mom's ear

Marlowe Martino whispers a secret in to her Mom's ear

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in the living room of their Connecticut home

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in the living room of their Connecticut home

My parenting style is always evolving, and changing through trial and error– but creating a structure of expectations and discipline in our household is really important to me.  I hope that by upholding this, while also celebrating the goofiness, playfulness, and spark of our daughter, that she learns how to be herself while also being a respectful and courteous member of society.  We have to raise the change we want to see in the world!

 

How do you deal with discipline and behavioral boundaries in your household? I’d love to hear your take in the Comments below!

Eva Amurri Martino and Marlowe Martino wear matching embroidered dresses and sit together in the living room of their Connecticut home

 

Share this post:

Leave a Comment:

40 Comments

  1. Milena Mrosovsky says:

    I believe the most important thing while parenting is to be CONSISTENT! A child should know that the parent is never making an empty “threat.”

    08.28.17 Reply
  2. Irina Visan says:

    I love how polite Marlow is and your laid back parenting style, you are such an inspiration. Have you ever thought about writing a parenting book?
    I feel like Lowie is such a clever, energetic little girl so I am sure she can challange you a lot. But the fact that that almost never shows, she’s always happy and your bond so close shows what a great parent you are. Even though sometimes you might feel otherwise, you are doing beyond great! So I would buy your book in a heartbeat the minute I knew I was expecting lol 🙂 hope by then you will write it.

    08.28.17 Reply
  3. Apryl Dyer says:

    Beautifully articulated. As a Mom, I read that article( hiding in the bathroom while my husband chased after our 10 month old- of course) and throught YAASSS. As a former early childhood educator/ administrator, I thought PREACH as a challenge was always the children who had no home training i.e. saying please or excuse me or did not know a limit. As an artist, the photographs were on point. Keep preaching the gospel of truth and hope the day is treating you well.

    08.28.17 Reply
  4. M Harris says:

    Perfectly written! Thanks for the extra insight!

    08.28.17 Reply
  5. Macarena González Pairoa says:

    Thank you for this! I had a difficult weekend with my daughter, Bego. She’s 21 months old and she’s starting with tantrums! I felt lost and without any tools to control her. TIME OUTS! Daaaaaaa! I live in Chile ??, a little country in south America. Love your insta storys! Keep posting al the good and bad! ❤️

    08.28.17 Reply
  6. Sam says:

    We have time outs and they do wonders. There is no yelling,soft spoken NOs. we talk things out. My kid is an advetures 5yr old boy that doesnt stop or slow down a bit. Sometime the kid can be an a-hole without a breather. But i dont yell at him i left him be him and explain whys whats dos and donts. Ive never tried spanking to me that seems like a contra-effect. while my friend uses that method and works for her-and her kids are scared of her. And theres another maybe crazy method but if toys are not picked up because he says “dont feel like it today or im lazy or i dont want to” then there are these two “grumpy women joan and jooja” and they kind of just show up when noone is at home and get those unpicked toys. (Those are mommys imaginary helpers who also had a meeting with santa about the christmas list. And good and naughty kids). They dont visit often but when they do ? There is havoc. So to avoid them and to get them caught my 5yr old said we need security cameras in the room. I was confused and had no idea what he was talking about. So he said ” so we can catch joan and jooja in action” i literary died lauging inside but kept a straight face and said ” they arent bad guys they just dont like the mess in the house when they come to inspect if everything is in order and then they”ll decide if they’ll bring some toys back, they are like toy patrol” He was like “oohhh i get it so when im good they will bring all my non put away toys back” . LOL this does sound crazy but it works

    08.28.17 Reply
    • HAHAHA I LOVE Joan and Jooja!! What a hilarious idea. They may need to show up at our house this holiday season… 🙂

      xx

      08.28.17 Reply
  7. Dawn says:

    I don’t have kids but I do remember growing up and my dad would always say to me “Remember you P’s and Q’s”. Everywhere we went we got told we were the politest kids and I remember that to this day.

    08.28.17 Reply
    • An older person once told me “The world opens up for polite children” and I totally agree! And love that concept. So true: if you know how to get around in society there are so many more open doors for you!

      xx

      08.28.17 Reply
  8. Christine says:

    100% ! Consistency is KEY. I do not have children, yet, but I worked in a daycare for years and our biggest tool was “time away” and it HAD to be constructive…no timers were allowed, but we would engage the child and tell them they were sitting there til they calmed down and asked them if they understood why, etc. My neighbors have lost complete control of their young children and it shows with their lazy parenting and disrespectful children. Keep it up! I can’t IMAGINE Major-boy is EVER going to need a time out hes so cute! LOL

    08.28.17 Reply
  9. Beth S. says:

    Very good advice! Do you have a timer that you like? I feel like something visual might help us with our 2 year old…

    08.28.17 Reply
    • Oh interesting, I always just used the timer on my phone. But I’m sure an egg timer would be good as well!

      08.28.17 Reply
      • Cynthea says:

        When I was teaching early childhood we used 1-5 minute sand timers (you can find them on amazon). My own son responds well to an auditory phone timer, but the sand timers can work wonders for kiddos who need a solid visual!

        08.28.17 Reply
    • Brooke says:

      Beth, I replied to the wrong comment. Oops! Anyhow here is a link to a bear similar to the one I use. (Only difference is mine is white 😉 )
      http://www.geniusbabies.com/time-s-up-time-out-teddy-bear.html

      08.29.17 Reply
  10. tara says:

    I also loved the book Bringing up Bebe…thanks for the reminder! I am going to think about it and clarify my big NOs, so nothing is unclear for my 1 and 3 year olds. As you state, it’s all about expectations for kids (heck! for me too!).

    I have always wanted to avoid being the “No” this, “No” that type of mom….thanks for the insight/advice/reminder!

    08.28.17 Reply
  11. Miranda says:

    This is so good and helpful. My son is 18 months old and I am struggling to know what my expectations should be at this age. Some people say that hes a bit too young to really understand the cause and effect of his actions and I find a lot of discipline tactics work better closer to age 2, but did you find anything helpful with the 18 month old stage? He’s a little young for time out, but not too young to start throwing tantrums and testing boundaries and rules.

    08.28.17 Reply
  12. Sarah says:

    Reading this has given me such peace of mind! My girl (Penelope) is only 4 months but with how quickly they grow I find myself starting to worry on a positive and effective approach to disciplining her when the time comes. I know I will be more of the rule “setter” then my husband (tends to be a softy). But reading this just made my day. I’ve been cutting and pasting the steps into a word doc. for future reference. Thanks so much for sharing!

    08.28.17 Reply
  13. Brittany says:

    Loved this post Eva, I don’t have children of my own yet but nanny’ed for a lot of years, you’re approach with Marlowe is spot-on. People are so quick to throw an Ipad in front of a kid rather than teaching them actual manners and discipline. I’ll be saving this post for the future. 🙂

    08.28.17 Reply
  14. Krysti M. says:

    Hi Eva! Thank you for sharing this post! It truly is so helpful! I have a 3 year old too, and he does excellent with manners (please, thank you, excuse me, saying sorry without being asked if he accidentally bumps anyone etc) and is usually an angel at home, but my biggest struggle is he chooses the most inconvenient times (like when we’re in line at the supermarket and I have cart full of groceries, or right when the waitress brings our food at a restaurant ) and he’ll go on full meltdown mode. He isn’t tired or hungry he just sees something he wants, or wants to get down so that’s what starts it usually. Sadly I’ve just avoided taking him places like that altogether since I never know how to react and I have high anxiety and will cry myself when I have a screaming toddler and a crowd of onlookers, but I know he needs to learn to behave. Would you just leave your cart or just let your child yell it out and try to ignore people? I really don’t care what they think but in the moment it is extremely overwhelming and I feel like a huge failure esp when they say judgmental remarks. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

    08.28.17 Reply
    • Leah says:

      So I think the thing strangers don’t get is that when they seemingly view an absence is parenting doesn’t mean parenting is not occurring. With my 21 month old, if he starts having a fit somewhere he clearly doesn’t want to be (i.e. The grocery store) I ignore the behavior and it stops it in its tracks. The more I acknowledge it or try to get him to stop the longer it continues. Obviously there is no one size fits all but I honestly don’t care if someone I don’t know sees my child flipping out for 5 minutes and gives me a dirty look. It’s not their business in the first place. Good luck!

      09.01.17 Reply
      • Leah says:

        The thing is, when you get up and leave that’s what they want if they don’t want to be there, so leaving your cart is their desired outcome, and enforces that flipping out gets them what they want.

        09.01.17 Reply
  15. Annie says:

    Thank you for this post! I have a 20 month old and luckily we’ve been able to avoid needing too much “discipline” thus far but I know it is soooo close. We are also really big on please, thank you, and may I be excused?. My husband and I have a few “big” things we want to always be consistent with – bedtime, manners at the table, and naps. Most of the behavior issues we have run into happen when our girl is tired so we just have to read the signs and either remove her from the stimulating situation or make sure she gets enough sleep before we put her in one! IT’s been a lifesaver to us to be able to read her signs. I appreciate your advice on time outs and on consistency! Thank you for the post

    08.28.17 Reply
  16. Jordan Pace says:

    I loved bringing up Bebe! I really took the cadre concept from it. We really need to refocus on discipline (we have gotten lazy in all aspects this summer) so thanks for the refresher! I’d love to know what your top 5 rules are now that she’s 3.

    08.28.17 Reply
  17. Brooke says:

    I don’t have children but I recently moved to be closer to family, including my niece and nephew. My niece is about 3 months younger than Marlow and my nephew was born the day after your Major boy! 🙂 Anyhow, the children are here often and because of this I have the opportunity to work on manners and, yes, discipline. I have a Time Out bear that has a timer in his belly. My niece has learned that when I remove her from a situation, I mean business. She always…ALWAYS…starts repeating “I’m sorry, Auntie Brooke” as soon as she sees me reach for the bear! Because she clearly understands Time Out, we’ve started to work on some others things…
    My biggest pet peeve with children is lazy speech. Hearing my niece say “yeah” as opposed to “yes” just bugs me! So I started replying with “yes” every time she said “yeah” and before I knew it, my brother was asking if I taught her that because he knew he and his wife hadn’t focused on it but it was refreshing for them to hear a polite yes! Meanwhile, I don’t correct her when she calls a volcano a “hotcano” because, lets face it…she came up with that on her own and it’s adorable!

    08.28.17 Reply
    • Holly says:

      Hahaha, awww, that’s so cute “hotcano.” 🙂

      08.28.17 Reply
  18. Ashli says:

    Thank you for this ! No one ever just comes right out and let’s people know what they are doing. I appreciated this so much. My 20 month old is defijitely testing everything and I feel like i say no all the time. I love the 5 firm rules and the rest are more gentle!

    Thank you again. Exactly what i needed to read tonight!

    08.28.17 Reply
  19. Linsay says:

    Also loved that book and really reflect back on it a lot. I practiced Baby Led Weaning with my kids too as it resonated with me and I felt that learning to eat, enjoying food, etc. was important and a ‘life skill’ that ties in to behaviour. And I agree with others that consistency is the absolute core to having success with disciplining kids. It’s hard to be a parent, easier often to ‘give in’ but so worth it to stick to your guns and in the end have a confident and supported kid who knows their boundaries.

    08.28.17 Reply
  20. Theresa says:

    I have a three year old daughter , too. I read a positive parenting book when she was an infant that I really liked. We use the term “time in”, which is a a form of time out but also talking about emotions and teaching empathy in the process. I’m big on manners as well. I feel like our daughter is a happy, bright little
    girl who has the opportunity to say “No” when she needs to, but not for safety issues as you mentioned, too. I don’t want her to grow up to be a yes person all the time. I’d like her to be kind and empowered. Parenting is hard! Many days I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. Lol I’ve had to reset myself many times to focus on positive parenting rather than reacting and being negative with discipline. I.e “no, don’t do that.” One day at a time!

    08.28.17 Reply
  21. Joanna says:

    Love this! My daughter has a star jar (Etsy!) reward system. It’s s token economy and when she fills her jar, she earns a book. It works amazingly well and she responded very quickly to it…even if we aren’t home and I warn her that she will lose a star-she immediately changes her mind to make a better choice. My daughter is not much younger than Marlowe, and she is super verbal as well. I find that setting expectations, redirecting them without using “no” except for the BIG behaviors, and showing empathy for their big feelings helps so much.

    08.28.17 Reply
  22. Kristin caldera says:

    I love to see your instagram stories every day I always tell my husband if we decide to have another child I would love to use all your advice.You both have done such a wonderful job with your children you should be very proud of you and your husband.

    08.28.17 Reply
  23. bella says:

    I love everything you wrote in this post about discipline. I have raised three daughters, and worked with children for over thirty five years in the school system, both public and private. If more parents implemented your method, our world would have much better behaved, kinder, and children who would be a pleasure to be around. Many parents just don’t discipline at all, and I have unfortunately seen the results. Bravo to you!

    08.29.17 Reply
  24. Mel G says:

    I definitely agree with your view on manners! My children (and myself, for that matter) have been raised to ask to be excused from the table and it’s just become such a nice habit that we don’t even think twice about it. My now 20yo son had dinner at a friend’s a few years ago and was terribly embarrassed when he automatically asked to leave their dinner table – I was chuffed! I always took pride in the fact that I felt I could take my children anywhere in public and know that they would be polite.

    On a side note, the photo series above where Marlowe is telling you a secret is so precious! xx

    08.29.17 Reply
  25. Dori says:

    As a mamma of a particularly sassy 20 month old with a new babe on the way…. Yes to all of this!

    08.29.17 Reply
  26. Nicole says:

    We are similar but we do time in – I sit with them, works better for us and how my kids react to being left alone due to early life experiences. Consistency is key for sure I agree, exhausting but so important. I also give myself time ins – take deep breaths when I’m frustrated and then I can better handle their frustrating behaviours.

    08.31.17 Reply
  27. Pam Chevalier says:

    Great post Eva. I have always felt so bad for undisciplined kids as they are the ones that suffer and pay the consequences -because their parents dropped the ball. Such an important topic:) Miss you guys!

    09.01.17 Reply
  28. Kelsey says:

    Thank you for writing this! My daughter is 18 months and so sweet but SO sassy. I struggle with the firm NO because sometimes she’s smiling right at me and whatever she’s doing is silly and I start smiling… so I’ll work on that 🙂 I am bookmarking this and am pretty positive will be referring back often!

    09.02.17 Reply
  29. Rosemarie Vitello rodriguez says:

    I love hearing the way other mothers choose to discipline their children.I raised 5 children by myself..I was a single mother.It was very difficult at times,but I set a way I wanted to discipline and I knew I wanted to instill manners from the start.I was very pleased when we would go out and I had all 5 with me at times and I would get complimented on their behavior and their manners!I was very happy and proud of my bunch?I agree with the way your disciplining them and installing manners.Now that I’m a grandma I can’t wait to see the way my daughters do these with their own babies!I’ve sent them your page on discipline ..even though their babies aren’t quite to the age age yet but they can start thinking of how they want to do it and see that no ones perfect but if you have love and nurturing techniques and sternness it will work!I have proof and so do you Eva:)Thank you so much for sharing ..I love reading your blogs!they are very helpful and uplifting and I love the beautiful pictures❤?????????????Godbless you and your family❤

    03.24.18 Reply
  30. Amy says:

    I feel like I have read everything and tried everything when it comes to discipline. I like your approach. It is clear and consistent and allows them to still be kids. They are just too undeveloped to expect impulse control on everything at such a young age.

    I do regret using one method where you are constantly explaining why a behavior is bad instead of giving a consequence, because it resulted in my now 6 yr old asking a ton of questions whenever I told him to stop a behavior. Do not talk too much, do not over explain, but give them the correct way to behave, instead.

    03.24.18 Reply