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Little Angel

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It’s with a lot of heartache that I tell you Kyle, Marlowe, and I have some sad family news to share.  I am sharing in the hopes that we can be a light for people going through similar circumstances, and to remind myself and others that there is no shame in voicing our heartbreaks and allowing others to comfort us. 

A couple of days ago, the baby I was carrying passed away.  I was nine weeks pregnant.  When we found out we were expecting baby number two, we were scared and joyful all at the same time.  Two babies under two! I was filled with nervous excitement– so amazed that Marlowe would have a sibling so close in age.  Kyle and I hoped it was another girl.  I was feeling great, with only minimal nausea and as much fatigue is to be expected with a toddler and the first trimester of pregnancy.  While we were on vacation in Hawaii, we took some “Big Sis” photos with Marlowe, and began to tell her about the baby.  Towards the end of our trip, I began to experience some spotting, but once I returned to Los Angeles, I got the all-clear from my doctor.  We heard the heartbeat on multiple occasions, and watched our baby growing at a normal rate.  When we celebrated Marlowe’s birthday, we shared the news with our families and closest friends.

At my next visit for a routine ultrasound, however, the baby’s heart was no longer beating.  Just like that, it was all over.  I remained in the office and went through the procedure to remove the baby from my uterus.  I am so grateful to my wonderful doctor and his amazing staff, who were all so kind, compassionate, and loving with our family throughout the experience. I couldn’t have asked for better care as I went through such a painful day. 
My doctor told me that this was most likely a case of there being an underlying major developmental problem with the fetus, and that it had simply stopped growing.  That nature had taken its course in the most brutally honest and simple way that nature sometimes works.  He also shared with me that this is heartbreakingly common (I won’t tell you the specific statistic because I don’t want to give anyone any unnecessary anxiety, but let’s just say we definitely all know at least one person this has happened to)  Of course the fact that it is common doesn’t do anything to help the pain.  But what was so shocking to me is how common miscarriages are, versus how little I hear them talked about.  I’m not sure if this is because people are ashamed to suffer this loss, or whether the loss is simply too painful to share (I can see how this could be the case also). 

To anybody enduring similar heartache, I will tell you what I’m feeling and processing as a result of this loss: A lot of confusion, some anger, deep sadness, and also an immense amount of gratitude.  I have realized in the past forty-eight hours how incredibly grateful I am for the magic that I have in my life.  I have the most amazingly supportive husband, and two loving families.  I have wonderful friends, who have brought me nearly to my knees with their care and compassion during this hard time.  And most of all, I have a healthy and happy daughter who I can hold in my arms and whisper in to her ear how much I adore her and how blessed I feel that I was lucky enough to bring her in to the world.  I have so much.

Of course what I don’t have, and what I never will have, is this one little angel who has slipped away from me.  And while it will take time for me to make peace with that fact, it gives me a lot of solace knowing that I told– that I have shared its existence with you, that it mattered, and that we loved it.  And that will have to do.

Thank you for listening to our story.

xoxox
EAM

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128 Comments

  1. Kassie Gray says:

    Hey Eva, I am so sorry for your loss. It was so comforting to read your blog as Kelly and I just went through this last month with baby number 3. I appreciate your thoughts and story, and totally agree that it’s so common but rarely talked about. It’s been a month and although I still think often about it, it gets easier. Your outlook seems so positive and I find your perspective comforting. Again I am so sorry for you and Kyle. Sending love from Kel and I!

    08.15.15Reply
  2. Rebecca B. says:

    Oh Eva, my heart weeps for you and your family. I don’t have any children of my own, but I so enjoy all of your posts about Marlowe and your many family adventures. Several of my friends have gone through the same experience and it breaks my heart every time I hear about anyone facing a miscarriage. It’s very brave of you to share this with the world, and I know that your story will enable other ‘mothers-to-be’ to feel less alone. I’m sending you much love from Colorado and will be keeping you and your sweet family in my thoughts. ❤️❤️❤️💜

    08.15.15Reply
  3. So many prayers as you grieve. Thank you for the courage to tell your story. Many people will feel less alone because you shared your experience.

    08.15.15Reply
  4. Katie G says:

    There are never really adequate words for someone who has experienced a miscarriage. Other than I am so sorry. For you and your family. My husband and I had a miscarriage with our first pregnancy and it was probably one of the hardest things I ever went thru. And you are so right…people don’t talk about it and i have so much respect for you for coming out and letting your readers know. Especially when you don’t “owe” us a thing.
    Again, my condolences to you and your family.

    08.15.15Reply
  5. brown bear says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I went through this with my first pregnancy, I now have a healthy 6 month old boy and I just found out I’m pregnant again (gulp). I remember learning about how often it can happen and I was really bummed that I wasn’t aware of that. I remember sharing with friends what I was going through and almost every woman I talked to had gone through that experience or knew someone who had gone through it. It made me feel better knowing that I wasn’t the only one.

    08.15.15Reply
  6. Kate says:

    My sister-in-law was expecting baby number 5 when the same thing happened to her. Number 5 is no less of a loss than baby 2. I’m so sorry for your loss and I know how difficult it is as someone expecting a new niece or nephew. I can’t imagine your grief as a mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Kyle. Thank you for sharing your story!

    08.15.15Reply
  7. Klynn says:

    Thank you for sharing this. This has happened to me and many of my friends and nobody talks about it. 4 years ago I went for a routine ultrasound. I was around 16 weeks. I had two healthy boys and was hoping to maybe get a look at the gender at this ultrasound. Instead all we saw was our little baby that passed away a week or so before. I had no bleeding, nothing, and I had heard the heartbeat several times. Nobody can understand the emptiness and pain in that moment. I went on to get pregnant with a healthy baby girl who is now three years old and such a joy to us. But then pain of the loss, and the sweet naive innocence of pregnancies before a miscarriage linger. Thank you for talking about it.

    08.15.15Reply
    • JB says:

      I feel your pain. We were there 5 weeks ago with #2 and 11 weeks along. Pathology confirmed what the doctor suspected: chromosomal abnormality — the reason for almost all cases of miscarriage. Knowing that doesn’t decrease the pain, but helps a little in knowing it wasn’t something you did wrong. Sadness and grief is enough without also dealing with guilt. Wishing you the best in your recovery. xo

      08.15.15Reply
  8. Sloane says:

    Eva and family,
    My heart breaks for you. Back in May I was 10 weeks pregnant , went for an ultrasound and it turns out I had an ectopic pregnancy. I actually had to have not one, two rounds of methotrexate to “kill” the cells. That didn’t work. I then had to go through emergency surgery to remove the embryo. I have a 2 year old little girl , kate. And I was so elated to find out I was pregnant and how amazing it would be to hopefully have a little girl. That dream has to be put on hold for a whole 18 months. I pray you don’t have to wait that long to try again. But in the meantime just find solace knowing you have one beautiful little girl and are able to become pregnant ( so many couples struggle with infertility) I’ve always wanted to network with other women about the struggles of misscarrying/ infertility. Many blessings to you. And you will get through this just like I will. Love and comfort from New Jersey. Xoxo

    08.15.15Reply
    • Maveriksmom says:

      Sloane I myself had 6 ectopic pregnancies and now have a 1year old boy thru IVF I know your pain and the ways ectopics are treated it’s hard to process and I hope you find peace until then there is a support group on babycenter.com where you can find comfort and compassion that was my saving grace.

      08.15.15Reply
  9. Pam says:

    Eva – my heart breaks for you. I’m so, so sorry you are going through this. I went through 3 miscarriages before I had my son. I felt so alone. But as soon as I opened up about the first one I found out so many close to me had gone through the same thing. I wrote about my experience because it helped me to process and grieve. And when I had two more miscarriages I voiced my thoughts and feelings as well. The written word is so powerful and as someone who has gone through what you’re going through I appreciate you sharing your experience. Those who are silent for whatever justifiable reason feel comforted knowing there are those of us out there willing to put our journey out there. The pain never goes away. Even having my son I still think about what could have been. That will never go away. You are in my thoughts. Take your time with this. It’s a tremendous loss and you have every right to grieve as long as it takes. My love to you and your family.

    08.15.15Reply
  10. Ali says:

    I am so sorry for yours and Kyle’s loss. I am not a mother but will hopefully start trying for a family soon and I think it’s so important that stories like yours are shared. Thank you for telling yours.

    08.15.15Reply
  11. Bekah says:

    Eva—I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and felt many of the same things. I remember scouring the Internet to find others’ experience just so I didn’t feel so alone. I agree—as common as they are, we don’t really talk about miscarriages very much. So, thank you for sharing. I’m sure it wasn’t easy but so lovely that your story is now in the world for someone else to find when they need it. xo

    08.15.15Reply
  12. Glenda says:

    Eva,
    So sorry to you and your family!
    Xx

    08.15.15Reply
  13. Shae says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. I had same experience last month.my daughter is 4 and half and we told her. At my nine week ultrasound same thing it had just stopped beating. It’s tough being excited and sharing the news with family like we did and explaining to my daughter why we were no longer having a baby and why she wouldn’t be a sister anymore. It’s painful and sad and you don’t hear anyone talk about it. Thanks for sharing.

    08.15.15Reply
  14. Andrea says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. My first pregnancy ended in a very similar way, and I was surprised to learn how many people around me had miscarried when I shared my news with them. The best advice I received at the time was to “be kind to yourself.” You absolutely have the right attitude and wonderful support, and I admire your bravery for sharing your experience. I write this as I nurse my 5 week old son – a constant reminder to be thankful for my blessings. Best wishes to you and your family.

    08.15.15Reply
  15. Mary says:

    Hi Eva, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending condolences to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I lost our baby a couple of weeks ago, she or he would have been our first. I think it’s so important to share our stories, women should not feel ashamed to talk about it. The grieving process is important and our family and friends have been so supportive, and it sounds like you’re blessed with the same kind of love and support. Thanks again xox

    08.15.15Reply
    • Julie says:

      Dear Mary – I am so sorry for your loss. I want you to know that I know how you feel and somehow it does get less all consuming and you and your husband will have your family. I had two miscarriages before we had our daughter. When I was going thru it all – I never thought I would get here – I did – and you will. Hold on. As crazy as this sounds…I would go thru all of it again to have my daughter – she was worth everything we went thru to have her. Doctor’s appointments will always be a little scary and you will always be a little nervous but you will get thru it all. I promise. Take good care.

      08.15.15Reply
  16. Sarah E says:

    Eva, my heart goes out to you and your husband. I’ve never personally gone through this, but I’ve experienced miscarriages, at the various stages of pregnancy, vicariously through people that I love and I’m sorry that you now go through this pain yourself. I also must applaud you for being brave and talking about it, while in the midst of going through the stages of your grief because you are right, as women, we shouldn’t have to hide this, we should support each other. My prayer for you and your family is that you will find peace. 💜

    08.15.15Reply
  17. Briana E. says:

    Prayers to you and your family… And of course to your tiniest angel above 💗 Thank you for sharing your story and journey.

    08.15.15Reply
  18. Julie says:

    so sorry for your loss. I’ve been an avid reader of your blog since it was linked over on the beauty department’s blog. You just radiate sunshine and love and are an amazing mother to Marlowe. Praying for your tiny angel and peace for you and your family during this time.

    08.15.15Reply
  19. Erika says:

    I am so sorry for your loss! I went through the same thing 2 years ago and it was the worst thing ever. But I got pregnant the following month and have a beautiful baby girl! It was also my second pregnancy and since my first pregnancy was so easy I didn’t think something like that would happen. To get through it I just loved on my first extra hard and focused on the fact that everything happens for a reason. Pregnancy really is a miracle! All the best to you and your family xx

    08.15.15Reply
  20. Jennifer says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers and hugs to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story and continuing to share your journey.

    08.15.15Reply
  21. Jennifer says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. I am heartbroken for you as I suffered a miscarriage with a long awaited first baby last October. It took me a long time to heal and I still continue to deal with it. I haven’t been able to get pregnant since and worry constantly. I had never heard of anyone around me having a miscarriage until I sadly had one myself. It is so heartbreaking and yet I feel less alone hearing your story. Thank you for sharing and I wish you and your family all the best.

    08.15.15Reply
  22. Glo says:

    Eva I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you & your family. I just want to say that I absolutely love seeing daily posts of Marlowe and reading your blog. You bring so much fun and joy to so many people! Never forget that! *hugs*

    08.15.15Reply
  23. Dan Woog says:

    What a wonderful, insightful, loving and important post. Your sad news will open many eyes, to the great mysteries of life. Please know that your and Kyle’s many fans are thinking of you.

    08.15.15Reply
  24. Molly says:

    Oh man. So sorry for your loss, but so thankful you are speaking out about it. That is thoughtful and brave of you, to think of helping others in your own time of sorrow. I was just thinking the other day how hard it must be to find other women to talk to after a miscarriage. I admire your honesty and am sending you all a really big virtual hug.

    08.15.15Reply
  25. Julie says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I had a miscarriage for my second pregnancy as well and the most comforting thing was a note from my hospital saying that no matter how small or brief, every life makes a difference and matters. I became pregnant again 9 months later during the month that baby was actually due, and now have two beautiful children, but I will always miss that one in my heart. For my pregnancy after that, my doctor insisted on checking my progesterone levels every week and I had to go on progesterone suppositories when my levels dropped a lot. Many healing thoughts your way!

    08.15.15Reply
  26. Cathy says:

    Dear Eva,
    Nothing that is said will give you the comfort you’re seeking. I know this because it’s been 14 months since I lost an angel baby as well. My heart was shattered in all those dreams and hopes that take very little time to form in one’s heart. I planted a beautiful tree out in front of my house with gorgeous burgundy leaves. I look at it and my heart fills with sadness for that baby I dreamt of. I will tell you that as time passes that sadness was replaced with hope and bittersweet longing for another babe.
    Last week I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. And now I know that the Angel baby was never meant to be with us here, and our healthy child is a blessing.
    Have faith, you’ll get through and it’ll happen for you when it’s meant to.
    Big hugs from a stranger stay at home mom who enjoys how dedicated and loving you are to your daughter (I myself have a spunky 3 year old little girl too!)

    08.15.15Reply
  27. Maria Renfeldt says:

    I love and appreciate your blog. I am truly sorry for your loss. I went through the exact same thing two months ago. I experienced a little spotting and I too got the clear. Then all of a sudden the next appointment their was no heartbeat. Thank you for sharing your story. We as women are not alone in this process of losing the little ones that we already grown to love. I know it will be hard but you and your family are in our prayers. May you find peace and comfort during this time. xoxo!

    08.15.15Reply
  28. Sorry about your baby

    08.15.15Reply
  29. me says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree, although this is very common it is never talked about. I think it does help to share, and know you are not alone in the sadness. More people should be as open as you are. Thank you!

    08.15.15Reply
  30. Emmy says:

    <3

    08.15.15Reply
  31. Tania says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May GOD hold that precious baby in his arms until the day you get to see your baby in heaven.

    08.15.15Reply
  32. Sam says:

    Eva I too have just gone through this. Discharged from hospital on wed after having the operation.the scan was meant to be yesterday. I’m struggling especially as my hormones are all over the place.its comforting to know someone understands and although I hate that someone else is going through same sadness,your words have been so helpful.i don’t know what to do, worrying if people think it’s no big deal,feeling blessed that I already have a healthy amazing child but feeling that I shouldn’t be grieving,but knowing what could have seems to make it worse.just want to be pregnant again.i really hope your ok.lots of love.

    08.15.15Reply
  33. Virginia says:

    i am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have had this happen to me 2x … once when my oldest son was less than a year and again just before becoming pregnant with my last child. The pain your heart has felt, I know all too well, til this day i mourn the loss of my angels. I dont know if that pain will ever go away, but they are always with me in my heart and in my prayers. I hope your sweet angel will always be remembered by you. Be blessed.

    08.15.15Reply
  34. Cory says:

    February 2nd, 1997, 2:32am. That is when we lost our angel. For so long, our families and friends ignored it. Made us feel strange for wanting to talk about it and remember. With so many people coming forward lately, I finally feel as if I can, no, as if I’m allowed, to process this the way I should have years ago. Thank you for writing and sharing your story.

    08.15.15Reply
  35. Georgie says:

    Eva,
    You shared your painful story with beautiful grace; the meaningful words you chose touch the heart and honor and respect your unborn child. In this way, your second angel will never be forgotten. The love you and Kyle share will ultimately grow stronger as you support each other, and the adorable gift that is Marlowe will make you smile once again. You know you are not alone in suffering a miscarriage, and because you shared, now others do, too. Peace to your beautiful family.

    08.15.15Reply
  36. kim says:

    Im deeply sorry for your loss eva…im 26 yrs old and 3 years ago i was a mother too. I can’t help myself asking “why”? Am i bad mother, some say, thats its ok your young u can have a baby again… But they don’t know how it hurts..
    And for you, sharing this moment with us all i can say be strong no matter what. Be with ur family,friends, us..your angel will always beside you guiding you and your family.

    08.15.15Reply
    • Virginia says:

      Kim … I know that feeling too, my obgyn said we have medicine if you want to try again after my 2nd miscarriage I said no my heart needs to heal … 6 weeks later I was pregnant again with no meds … I almost lost him too but at 6mos …but this time I was lucky and today my angel is 7 …. Let your heart heal … Let what is to be be …. Your body will know when it’s time to carry another angel …. Be blessed.

      08.15.15Reply
      • virginia says:

        Virginia, thank you love, but i think i’m not emotionally ready yet im still blaming myself for what happen. Even my baby daddy blame me. And what if i got pregnant again… Things will go wrong again…… Hoping someday thu.

        08.15.15Reply
    • Virginia says:

      Kim … yes, I did blame myself. I cried for weeks on end … in the news I saying stories of all these women throwing away babies in the garbage and I asked my husband why? I wanted my baby so badly and here these people are going to term and just throwing their babies away. I felt like I had no worth in this life, luckily I have a partner who did not blame me, he mourned the loss of our 2nd angel lost with me. Be brave Kim, don’t let the negativity of others cloud your heart and make you feel less of a woman. There is a plan in motion for you, you may not see it today but one day you will. Be blessed and know that out there amongst others there is someone who knows your pain and is sending you a big hug and prayers to help your heart find solace in your grief.

      08.15.15Reply
  37. Diane says:

    (((Eva)))
    I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Your blog post was so beautifully and eloquently written.
    I wish you peace and comfort. Be well.

    08.15.15Reply
  38. Laqwanna says:

    I miscarried at 5 weeks in January 2015. It was my first pregnancy. Even though I wasn’t ready for the baby, it was still a shock for the doctor to confirm what I figured when I was spotting: I was miscarrying. I think about it sometimes even now but things work out with a divine purpose. I didn’t tell my family about it which I’m glad about. My boyfriend was more hurt than me about it.
    Thank you for starting a conversation about this topic.

    08.15.15Reply
  39. Kristi says:

    Eva I do not have children of my own, but your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss and pain- and I hope it is at least a comfort to see all of the kind words people are posting here. Sharing your story will help so many! The last paragraph of your post is so beautifully written and such a touching description of the love you had and still have for the life you created. Thoughts and prayers to you and your sweet family during this difficult time.

    08.15.15Reply
  40. Rachel says:

    Hi Eva, so sorry for your loss. I loved how elegantly you expressed your feelings and shared what you and your family are going through. It’s so great to see woman opening up about this. It’s not shameful. It’s just nature taking it’s course. That doesn’t make it any less painful though.
    I shared your post on my facebook page for Tiny Hearts Angel Gowns. We make burial gowns for babies gone too soon out of donated wedding dresses. And a lot of our followers have been through the same loss as you and your family. Thank you for sharing. Love your blog and Instagram.
    Rachel

    08.15.15Reply
  41. Adriana Tamayo says:

    Eva, Kyle, Marlowe, Susan and all your family and friends, I will keep you in my prayers. Your little Angel care and watch over you forever. XOXO

    08.15.15Reply
  42. Mamainboston says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I endured 3 miscarriages, one of them being twins. The first one was devastating ans I honestly didn’t think I’d ever get over it. We had been through 4 years of infertility treatment, and that made it that much more vicious. I lost two more after that in between failed IVF treatments. 9 years of treatments and the adoption of one beautiful wisp of a little girl, I got pregnant one last time, and had a gorgeous (huge! ) baby boy. I’m all done with my journey trying to become a mother, but I still look back and wonder what it might have been like if all of those little dreams survived. I will never know, but I have two perfect, healthy children who are my light every day.

    08.15.15Reply
  43. Kathy says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. When I was about 6 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child I started bleeding, heavier than spotting. My doctor did an ultrasound and we couldn’t see anything but the sac, and he thought that I was trying to miscarry. He put me on bed rest for a week and did another scan the next week. Fortunately there was my son with a healthy heartbeat, and I went on to carry to term. Even though my story ended happily, that week that I thought I was losing him was the most scared I had ever been. I pray that you will be able to carry another angel when the time is right.

    08.15.15Reply
  44. Margo says:

    Eva, so saddened to hear about your families loss. You have know idea how much your openness and sharing means! I am sure it was difficult for you to write this post, but please know that your fans grieve with you and I in particular am grateful that you were brave enough to share your heartache in hopes that it helps another woman experiencing the same situation. Sending best wishes to you all and lots of love.

    08.15.15Reply
  45. Jenn says:

    Hi Eva, I just want to first say how sorry I am for your loss. We lost our first baby on May 4th when I was 12 weeks along. It was a shock and incredibly heartbreaking. We had a horrible experience in the ER and it has made this whole process that much more difficult, as if losing a baby wasn’t bad enough. And what you said about it not being spoken about enough, especially with how common it is, is something I’ve been feeling and saying since May. I think it should be up to the woman to talk about it if she feels comfortable doing so, and if she does then it should be ok. I thank you for sharing your story and I hope it can help start a dialogue within our society on this topic that has stayed silent for way to long.

    08.15.15Reply
  46. Roari says:

    Sending good vibes to you and yours.

    08.15.15Reply
  47. Erin says:

    Thank You. Thank you for making this public. It’s so damn hard. It’s sucks. But it helps me to read others stories. I need it for my grieving process.

    08.15.15Reply
  48. Jennifer says:

    A year a go on the 13th, I had an ultrasound done and it showed that our baby’s heart stopped beating. On the 17th it will be one year since I miscarried. Miscarriage is lonely. I felt like I went into a black hole that no one understood. I not only lost a baby, but the life that I had imagined us having. It was so hard, and so much to deal with. I don’t ever want to forget our little spirit, because their life in my belly mattered. We bought an angel ornament at Christmastime and now it sits on our mantle. I look at it every day, and think of our little spirit. Time does heal, and I have found peace, but there are days when it feels like it just happened. Thank you for sharing your story. So many women suffer in silence, and they don’t have to. May you find peace.

    08.15.15Reply
  49. Adisa says:

    Thank you so much for your strength, courage and being the voice for so many others (including myself) who have endured a similar loss in solitude. My heart goes out to you and your family and I thank you for validating my own loss and experience, as well as other women, men and families. Much love to you all.

    08.15.15Reply
  50. Sunny says:

    So, so sorry for your loss. You are brave for sharing it. I had a miscarriage a year and a half ago, between my two beautiful daughters. It broke my heart, but I, too, took solace in my eldest. Many hugs from me and my girls during this wretched time.

    08.15.15Reply
  51. Jen W says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss! I went through the same thing around 6 weeks…It’s never easy! Don’t give up hope.. I felt like I was alone..we need to talk about miscarriages more…We were soon blessed with baby #3 and she is soon to be one..

    08.15.15Reply
  52. Kayla says:

    I’m very sorry for your loss. This too, happened to me and my husband at 9 weeks in April. I have never been too great with words. Reading what you wrote is what I wished I could have said myself. Thank you for the inspiration.

    08.15.15Reply
  53. Aliza says:

    May the long time sun shine upon you
    All love surround you
    And the pure light within you
    Guide your way on
    Love and peace to the four of you! Thank you for being a ray of light and inspiration to so many.

    08.15.15Reply
  54. Melissa says:

    Sorry to you and your husband for what you had to experience. It’s not easy. Thank you for writing about your miscarriage. I recently lost my angel at seven and a half weeks. I too was shocked at how common miscarriages are. Reading about your experience validated my feelings and made me realize that it’s okay to feel the way I do. There is no shame.

    08.15.15Reply
  55. Rosey says:

    Sending you my Texas mama hugs Eva, I have one grandson but my love for him feels like (holding arms wide) no other. Thank you for sharing and writing so beautifully your feelings thoughts words.

    08.15.15Reply
  56. Kim says:

    I’m so sorry Eva that you had to go through that experience. I lost a baby at 8 weeks my first pregnancy after two years of trying. My baby had development issues and just stopped growing. I was extremely sad for weeks. I understand how you probably feel at this time and I hope God gives you the love you need at this time.

    08.15.15Reply
  57. Amar says:

    I would like to express my deepest and warmest sympathies to your and your family. Not sure if your remember me I am one of Megan (hotsundae) friends we met at Vida’s birthday. I too suffered the loss at 13 weeks. Baby probably passed around 11 weeks. I underwrnt the proceedure instead of waiting it out. Not sure if that was the right decision but for me I want to know everything about the baby. I never thought I would feel such pain. This was my second baby at the time. My sister cried with me on the phone and my husband held me tight. I had to remember he was through pain of loss. My sister sent me the song that helped me cope as I put it on repeat. Florence and the machine-shake it out. It resonated with me. Every time I hear it I think if my angel baby cry and smile. I hope you find peace and know it is very common. Know that nothing you did caused this and when and if you are ready your rainbow baby will come.

    08.15.15Reply
  58. Monica says:

    Eva, so truely sorry for your heartache. Losing anyone is difficult but losing a child is much harder in my opinion. I had a tramatic miscarriage of twins and nothing I had ever experienced before was harder. However, my husband and I are Mormons and we know that God loves each and every one of His children. We believe God wants families to be together forever! Yes, eternal families. So, even tho I lost my babies, I know that by living God’s commandments and staying true to my covenants I’ve made with Him, that after I leave this Earth I will see my children again and we will be together forever. Please, know that even tho your baby slipped away from you, it is not permanent. God loves you and will reunite your entire family again one day! Lots of love your way!

    08.15.15Reply
  59. A good friend of mine from college has the same thing happen to him and his wife. They made a movie and hold retreats to help others deal with their loss. The website is listed above in case you are interested.

    08.15.15Reply
  60. Kami says:

    Dear Eva,
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby to miscarriage back in 2000, and my midwife said to me that day, “At first there will only be bad days, then good moments during bad days, and eventually bad moments during good days.” Just knowing that there was hope down the road helped me to not get completely lost in my grief. It also helped me to memorialize my baby; there are a few tokens around the house that may not mean anything to anyone else, but they are in honor of my baby, and they help me to know that my baby existed and was real, even though it’s presence here with me was too brief.
    One thing that I wish was different is how insensitive some people can be. Many things were said to me that were ignorant, insensitive, and some were downright rude; I suspect that as someone who has lived in the public eye for so long, you have a coping system in place to deal with those negative comments, and I pray that you will be able to draw on that, like water from a deep well, and disregard the comments that are neither kind nor helpful. I also thank you for choosing to share your loss publicly, and I pray that you will receive much support and understanding, and that the supportive, encouraging comments will overwhelmingly outnumber the negative.
    Sending much peace, love, grace, and healing to you, your husband, daughter, and your families.
    Kami

    08.15.15Reply
  61. Heather says:

    Beautiful Eva and family. Thank you for sharing your story. Having experienced this heartbreak myself, I extend my heart to you as you heal. It gets better. We had our beautiful baby girl one year after my miscarriage.
    Lean on your loved ones. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Allow all the feelings through. Thank you for your strength in including us in your journey.

    08.15.15Reply
  62. Stacey says:

    I lost a set of twin boys 10 years ago This week. I’m so sorry you and you family are going through this. It is a horrible reality of pregnancy and creating a family. Big hugs 🙂

    08.15.15Reply
  63. Paola says:

    My heart breaks for you & your whole family. Our family went thru the same heart break aug 2011. Just know let your heart and body heal.

    08.15.15Reply
  64. Anthony says:

    Eva-
    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and it is devastating. Unfortunately, it is amazing how common it happens and yet unless you have experienced it, how uncommon it is discussed. It is a heartbreak that cannot be described and while nothing I can say will make you feel better, know that it does get easier. You are blessed with a wonderful family and great friends. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story and give strength to other people going through this. And as little as it is discussed amongst women it is discussed less between men. So I did want to leave something for Kyle if that was ok.
    Kyle- I am so sorry for your loss. This process is different for us unfortunately. As men our role is to protect the family and I hated feeling useless in this situation. I felt helpless and the worst part is that I knew no matter how bad I felt, I knew it was worse for my wife. The only thing I could do was be there to support. Some days were better than others, but it does get better. While this topic is not discussed much between women, you can see how much it is dicussed between men by how many men posted anything. Know that it effects men as well. Our condolences, from our family to yours. We wish you both the best.

    08.15.15Reply
  65. Far Away Nobody says:

    Sending love

    08.15.15Reply
  66. Carly says:

    We did the same thing! Found out about #2 right before my daughter turned 3, and on her birthday we started telling (even though it was early) my doctors said to hold off till 12 weeks for an ultrasound even though I felt something wasn’t right …at 11weeks I spotted and went in to see no heartbeat. It was jan 2 ….way to bring in the new year …we have been trying since with no luck but I feel a little part of us up there watching us , and knowing we miss them!! So many prayers and good thoughts your way! You are not alone! Thank you for sharing your story., it helps us all feel that we don’t have to feel alone when we miscarry

    08.15.15Reply
  67. Sara says:

    I’m so sorry for your family’s loss Eva. As you’ve heard there are a lot of us who have experienced this loss as well and we appreciate your openness in sharing it. Give yourself time to feel the loss and day by day it’ll get better. And just remember that when you get pregnant next time, which you will, relax. Try to be happy about the new life you are creating and appreciate every crappy feeling in the first trimester because that’s a good sign you and baby are well. I know you aren’t looking for advice but that helped me after losing Baby M. Then Colette came along – after some acupuncture. ☺ And now she loves watching Marlowe’s videos and giggling! Best wishes, we’ll keep reading and following you on Instagram. Thanks again!

    08.15.15Reply
  68. Katie says:

    Thank you so much for your bravery and openness. I miscarried my first pregnancy three weeks ago and have been having a very difficult time putting into words how I’ve been feeling. Reading your post was unbelievable therapeutic and makes me feel like I’m not alone.

    08.16.15Reply
    • Meredith says:

      Hi Katie. My miscarriage was three weeks ago as well. (Our first pregnancy as well) It hurt like nothing else I’ve ever been through–death or divorce–but I feel like I’m coming out of the fog now and no longer in constant mourning. I hope you’re able to gradually get to a place of peace and solace. (The wacko hormones falling back to normal should help) Happy to keep the conversation if you want to get in touch.

      08.16.15Reply
  69. Deb Reed says:

    So sorry for your loss. The spirit you carried transforms. All is one, all is eternal. Love and peace to you and your family.

    08.16.15Reply
  70. Megan says:

    eva & kyle–so sorry for your loss. you are incredibly brave for sharing your story with us. sending peace and prayers to you during this time.

    08.16.15Reply
  71. Tom Jordan says:

    There are millions of women throughout this world who suffer miscarriages or abortions. Many of these women, living in developing countries, who exist in poverty with no access to healthcare, clean water or sanitation. They are the people we should be discussing and helping.
    Do you not think, that it is the height of selfishness to advertise one’s health status, in view of the privileged and usually unworthy, status afforded celebrities? Do you consider narcissistic behaviour, as often displayed by celebrities, to be demonstrable of the poor taste of any role model status, to which celebrities should be held?

    08.16.15Reply
    • Meredith says:

      Wow. Just, wow. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

      08.16.15Reply
  72. Ana says:

    So sorry for the loss of your angel. We went through the same thing with our first pregnancy, but with us, we found out on our first ultrasound that the sack was empty so the baby either stopped growing or it never grew properly. But with a pregnancy test, we knew we were pregnant so our brain and our hearts already had the love for a baby and the baby never came. I felt the same feelings you had, mostly confusion because I didn’t know if I had done something to cause this. The doctor also told us, like you said, that this is extremely common, yet no one talks about it! When this happened to us, lots of people we know, and some even in our own family, came and told us they had has miscarriages too. So now we know it’s Mother Nature taking care of us but like you said, it’s a rough one to bare. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone and I know here’s a special place in heaven for all these angels we’ve lost and they’re watching us and sending us their love. God bless you and your family.

    08.16.15Reply
  73. Barby says:

    I want to first say how sorry I am for ur loss. I was pregnant with twin boys. I lost them 3 weeks ago. I was 21 weeks pregnant. I was half way there. I do ultrasound myself & i found them with no heart beat. I had to deliver them. I can’t tell u how angry I was bc doing ultrasound & seeing ppl come in who do drugs or its there 5th kid & all they want to know is the gender of the baby & here I am who did everything right & I lose my beautiful boys. This will be something u carry with u for the rest of ur life. I hope I can have the privilege of being a mother. I hope both our families will grow in the future. Stay strong & surround urself with love♡

    08.16.15Reply
    • Kami says:

      Oh, Barby. My heart goes out to you. It’s already so painful to grieve the loss of our babies, and I can see how working with ultrasound would exacerbate that grief. Praying for your strength and healing, and that your family will grow, as well. <3

      08.16.15Reply
  74. Pam says:

    So sorry to you and your family for your loss! Been there 20 years ago with my first pregnancy *hugs*

    08.16.15Reply
  75. Mia says:

    Much love and hugs as you and your family go through this lost. Give yourself permission to mourn, I have had 3 miscarriages and I allowed myself the time to experience my grief without anyone telling me to move on. We planted a garden and have 3 beautiful Hosta plants for each angel. We also have three lovely girls ages: 6, 7 and 23 . Be kind to yourself.

    08.16.15Reply
  76. Hi Eva:
    I was deeply saddened by your loss. But please understand, this is not the end. You will see your lost child again!
    /Salman Shuaib.
    bluecane.wordpress.com

    08.16.15Reply
  77. Drea says:

    Thank you for sharing by demonstrating bravery and strength. Miscarriage & pregnancy loss is a hard topic. I totally relate to what you’re experiencing, having lost one in Feb of this year at 12w1d and only last month. Hope & the support of family and friends is a wonderful thing. Blessings to you and your family. A light is shining as your journey continues ❤️

    08.16.15Reply
  78. Meredith says:

    From one Brunonian to another … I am truly sorry for your loss. Let yourself fully grieve as much as you need to.
    I’m coming up on 4 weeks since my miscarriage (our first pregnancy, and as I’m on the older end of the scale it is particularly devastating). I can report back from the other side that after a few weeks of being a complete wreck–partly because the hormones are still haywire–it does get better. The pain will never be completely gone, nor should it; but eventually it will stop coloring your days with constant, desperate sadness.
    My deepest sympathies and good wishes to you and your family. As others have said, take this time to be kind to yourself, and let yourself be helped by those who love you.

    08.16.15Reply
  79. Jenna says:

    I had a total of 3 losses before I welcomed my first baby (I now have 4 kids all 5 and under) Thank you for sharing your story. I am done having kids now, but the hurt from the losses have never stopped. But, I have taken it upon myself to be a voice for women, women like myself who had given up, women like myself who were told to give up by doctors. God Bless the women who share their stories. Hope is real. Hope is out there. Miracles are out there. I have 4..I actually have a 4 year old wide awake at 3:30 AM, but I’m not mad. I look at her and I smile, and I am glad I never gave up. I just want women to know never give up. I tried to give up, I told my husband just to leave me..buy I got pregnant the 4th time and something told me this was it, this was going to be my baby, and I fought hard..but he made it, and his 2 sisters and brand new baby brother are my whole world, and my husband who stayed with me through it all..he is my rock. Never give up. I appreciate stories like this, and I also pray for your loss.
    FB- Jenna Rosson-Burk

    08.16.15Reply
  80. aliyana says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own August 1st. I was 10 weeks pregnant and I am still feeling emotional. God knows what he is doing and your little angel will soon arrive. God bless you

    08.16.15Reply
  81. Rian says:

    I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. A miscarriage is so personal and so emotional. I had three before giving birth to my sweet Adeline 15 months ago. It wasn’t until I had my first miscarriage that I realized how common they really are. I think some women struggle to talk about it because maybe they feel guilty. I know I did. I blamed my body and my emotions.
    Thanks for sharing your heartache and your story. Sometimes I wonder about the angel babies that might have been, but then I look at Addie and realize that she probably wouldn’t be here if things hadn’t gone the way they did and I think that maybe there is a plan to life after all. Hugs.

    08.17.15Reply
  82. GR says:

    Eva, Thank you for sharing your story with the world! Your story is very close to my heart. I suffered two miscarriages one at 11 weeks one week ago. The other 6 months ago at 6 weeks. I am still utterly heartbroken. These were my first two pregnancies and I do not have children. I am so glad that people are beginning to speak out about this sad and unknowingly common occurrence. When something like this happens it is a huge loss and disappointment and it is hard to feel like others understand. I am so glad you have shared your story. I am frustrated that all I see in magazines or social media stories are about celebrity pregnancies and babies being born when we never hear about the other side: miscarriages, loss, IVF treatments and all the things that women/families go through to have a baby. I also feel that women need to share experiences of miscarriage and loss as it truly effects the body and mind on many levels as your hormones rise and fall on a rapid scale and if you have a miscarriage naturally or a surgical procedure (which I have had both) it can be extremely physically painful and traumatizing. I am sorry for your loss and the losses of any women who has gone through this. I am sad and suffering with all of you …thank you for making me feel less alone during this difficult time.

    08.17.15Reply
  83. Lauren Ribelin says:

    Beautiful and heartbreaking all wrapped up into one- thank you for sharing.

    08.17.15Reply
  84. Nicole says:

    Thank you for sharing. My first pregnancy ended in the same way back in January. We were 10 week pregnant and the shock and heartbreak was almost unbearable. I found great comfort in the support of my husband. I am so sorry for your loss and sincerely appreciate you sharing your story.

    08.17.15Reply
  85. Cat Shively says:

    Eva, Kyle and Marlowe,
    My heart goes out to you all. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.
    I’m going to go home tonight and hug my girls just a little tighter. They are such a blessing and as I write this note of sympathy I am shedding tears for you and your loss.
    They say time heals all wounds and I think in some way that is true but the hurt never goes away completely.
    I will be thinking about you all and sending love your way.
    XO
    Cat

    08.17.15Reply
  86. Stacey says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am a big fan of yours. I, too, suffered a miscarriage this summer. I have two friends that also had miscarriages this summer. I had to have a d and c as my pregnancy hormone levels kept rising post miscarriage. It was my very first pregnancy and my husband and I were so excited. We have the green light to start trying again, but I am so nervous. I just want to hold a sweet baby in my arms to call my own. I pray that you find healing. I’m glad you’ve had supportive friends and family. I’ve had it, too! My husband has been amazing throughout the whole process.

    08.17.15Reply
  87. Diane says:

    My heart goes out to you. I lost my little girl at 27 weeks. My grandmother who had lost 4 babies looked at me with her gentle eyes and said it was her little ones in heaven that she still thought of so often. She said it was those little ones looking on her from up above that kept her good. Her words have stayed close to my heart. I have a little girl who I eagerly await to see one day. In her short time she completed her mission. She changed my life forever and taught me to trust in God. To let him wash away my tears and anger and know that love prevails. I love her more each passing year and thank God for allowing me to draw closer to his heart through her life. Be kind to yourself and trust that your little one eagerly awaits your reunion one day so make your baby proud 🙂

    08.17.15Reply
    • Sandra Paul says:

      My name is Sandra Paul i live in New Zealand, and am married for 15years without conceiving or get pregnant until the issue resolved to problem in my home, i was really worried and bothered because i don’t want to loose my husband to another woman. i have went to hospital, the doctor told me that i cant get pregnant again i thought have lost my husband already and i have lost hope and faith until one day that a very good friend of mine introduce me to DR MANBELA of the greet manbelaspelltemple of black power i contacted him through his email MANBELASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. until when i give DR MANBELA a try which make me to be happy today. now have giving birth to twins a boy and a girl. and my husband now love me more than before. so that’s while i will have to share the good work of DR MANBELA, i pray that my God will reward you for me for bringing smile to my face once again. if you are in need of any help contact him via manbelaspelltemple@gmail.com………

      08.17.15Reply
  88. Cheryl Anderson says:

    So very sorry for your tremendous loss. Words can not explain the grief you must be feeling along with the rest of your family. Finding solace will eventually come to you and yours. Be strong.

    08.17.15Reply
  89. Sandra Paul says:

    My name is Sandra Paul i live in New Zealand, and am married for 15years without conceiving or get pregnant until the issue resolved to problem in my home, i was really worried and bothered because i don’t want to loose my husband to another woman. i have went to hospital, the doctor told me that i cant get pregnant again i thought have lost my husband already and i have lost hope and faith until one day that a very good friend of mine introduce me to DR MANBELA of the greet manbelaspelltemple of black power i contacted him through his email MANBELASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. until when i give DR MANBELA a try which make me to be happy today. now have giving birth to twins a boy and a girl. and my husband now love me more than before. so that’s while i will have to share the good work of DR MANBELA, i pray that my God will reward you for me for bringing smile to my face once again. if you are in need of any help contact him via manbelaspelltemple@gmail.com

    08.17.15Reply
  90. Moonfalle says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words to truly comfort when you lose a baby. Please know you are not alone and this ‘sad soroity’ are all sharing some of your pain. My thoughts are with you and your family as you go through this difficult time.

    08.17.15Reply
  91. Barbara says:

    Hi Eva,
    I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words as many others have said to comfort you during this time of loss and grief. My husband and I suffered two miscarriages in 2011. The first one was our sweet angel Jordan. I carried Jordan for 12 weeks when we found out our angel no longer had a heartbeat. This was in July. In November, we lost our sweet Riley after 6 short weeks. It always feels good to talk about the two babies I will never get to hold or raise. However, like you, I count my blessings. I have two loving and supportive families who saw us through the darkest period in our lives. And in 2013, God blessed us with a healthy little boy. He has truly been the rainbow to our storm. The loss of Jordan and Riley is always there, as will your little angel, but I take comfort in knowing that I do not travel this road alone and I admire all women who are strong enough to tell their stories. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this journey.

    08.17.15Reply
  92. Leilani says:

    Dear Eva, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know first hand how you feel and what you’re going through. I’ve lost several through miscarriage and although it’s been several years, it still hurts — differently, but the pain of loss remains. I miss them desperately, but because of my religious faith, I know they will be with me someday. My heart breaks for you. May God bless you and your family during this difficult time.

    08.17.15Reply
  93. David says:

    So sorry to hear of this terrible news. I hope you do find solace and comfrort in those around you. You will definitely find out who your true friends and loved ones are. My family’s best thoughts go out to yours.

    08.17.15Reply
  94. I also lost an angel at 16 weeks this spring. I’m almost a month from my projected due date. I wrote a similar blog about not knowing how “common” this is and how it is like joining a secret club you never wanted to be a part of. I truly believe we need to stick together and be there for each other. So sorry for your loss. Just know you are not alone.

    08.18.15Reply
  95. Brittany says:

    Hi, Eva! My heart bleeds for you! I can only imagine how you are feeling! I myself never had a miscarriage but I struggled to get pregnant and was only able to do so after a year (and only with the help of conceiveeasy). You are so generous and brave in sharing your story to the world. I hope you heal soon, physically and emotionally! My thoughts are with you!

    08.18.15Reply
  96. AL says:

    thank you for sharing this. I have a healthy almost 4 year old boy… but I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks August 2014 and another at 5 weeks May 2015… After having a normal pregnancy I never imagined going through a miscarriage, let alone two! but I am 14 weeks pregnant now, I got pregnant immediately after the 2nd miscarriage. I know that I am not alone.

    08.18.15Reply
  97. Jen says:

    I wanted to say Thank you for sharing your story. I have suffered 4 miscarriages and it was extremely difficult for me. No one wanted to talk to me about it and I didn’t know how to handle it. I am so lucky that I was able to have twin boys after going through a very difficult time. But it is nice to hear other peoples stories and know that you are not alone. Thank you for your honesty, strength and bravery. Prayers to you and your family during this emotional and sad time.

    08.19.15Reply
  98. Nicole says:

    Thank you. It’s so funny how life happens and what comes into to our lives at different times. You story hit so close to home I actually went to the bathroom at work and cried. My husband and I also just lost a little angel, our first. We had just started trying and had been so excited when all 6 pregnancy tests were positive. We scheduled the initial doctors appointment and started lightly nesting. I say lightly as I told my husband the first 12 weeks are so delicate anything could happen. However, I didn’t follow my own advice. I started creating a list of all the thing we needed to do and get, year still there was something bothering me in the back of my mind the numbers didn’t add up. Well it was the day of out appointment, calculating we would have been 5 1/2 weeks, but as I talked to our doctor and explained how quickly we found out we were pregnant she became concerned and I immediately had a sonogram. No baby in the uterus, instead an ectopic pregnancy and by the way I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant. My heart dropped, the best course of action was surgery. The next day my husband and I went in for the surgery, but more complications arose and a one hour surgery lasted three. It was a rare type of ectopic pregnancy that is fatal at 10 weeks. The baby was half in my Fallopian tube and half attached to my uterine wall. If I had waited any longer things would have been different. Well that was two weeks ago and while my physical pains are healing my emotional ones are not. It’s hard to tell people what happened, we haven’t even told our families just out close friends that live in the city. My co workers ask and I just say emergency surgery. I’m not ashamed, but how do you bring it up? How do not make people sad for you? Well, the best news is we can try again in a few month, but I’m scared and sad. Your story made is raw and honest and ninths I you for starting the conversation.

    08.20.15Reply
  99. Laura J says:

    Thank you for sharing this with us Eva.
    I naturally miscarried our baby throughout last night, he/she would have been our 2nd child too. The physical trauma was exhausting but i think the emotional trauma will stay with me the rest of my life.
    We found out at our 12 week scan 2 weeks ago that our baby had gone at 7 weeks. Nothing can prepare you for the feelings of loss or devastation, the only thing that brings me some comfort is reading about other womens experiences.
    My thoughts and love are with everyone who has ever had to deal with losing a baby.

    08.21.15Reply
  100. Sarah P. says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby at 7 weeks this past July. Due date would’ve been March 2nd. It’s hard not knowing what happened. Was it perfectly healthy and my body just rejected it (still haunting me) or something wrong with it and natures way of doing away with something not viable? It’s also so hard because we become mothers when we see that first positive test. Men become fathers when they hold the baby. So it’s a very lonely feeling. Prayers for you and your family.

    08.22.15Reply
  101. Sarah says:

    I am deeply sorry to hear about your loss xxxx I am grateful you shared your story. I have just experienced the same heartache at 3 MONTHS it hurts but we will try again x God Bless happiness to you and your family xxx

    08.23.15Reply
  102. Caroline says:

    Dear Eva,
    My heart goes out to you. It’s the hardest thing in the world and a heartbreaking thing to navigate. I’m grateful to women like you who have the courage to talk about it, as I still haven’t been able to. I miscarried 1 year ago yesterday while in my 2nd trimester. The hardest part was that the only people that knew were my boyfriend and my doctor. I hadn’t yet told family or friends. At that point, it’s pretty difficult to tell people about it when they didn’t know I was pregnant in the first place. My long-term boyfriend and I had broken up before I found out I was pregnant and weren’t in a particularly good place. So, I was left to deal with it on my own. Eventually he came around to realize just how traumatic it was for me and began to have his own feelings about it, some of it felt a bit too late for me. Some days I don’t think anything will fill the hole that it left in my soul. I just turned 40 recently and most likely, at this point, I won’t be able to have children. It’s a tough pill to swallow and one that not everyone understands. Maybe being a mother just wasn’t in the cards for me… I just never imagined that I’d end up 40, single, and without children. Life is strange that way… I’m so glad to see you have people surrounding you to help you get through this time. You have such a beautiful family and I wish you all the best. Xo

    09.02.15Reply
  103. Jenny J. says:

    Eva, I really appreciate you sharing your story. I also miscarried my 2nd child at 9 weeks this August. I also have a 1 year old daughter and she is where I found the strength I needed to get by. No matter how many disappointments we face we will always be the luckiest parents in the world because we already have them. At first I really regretted having told so many people and agonized over having to then share our heatbreak with everyone. However, the outpouring of love we received in return made me realize that it actually really helped me to have their support. And by sharing your story I feel your support as well. Thank you so much.

    10.04.15Reply
  104. Nessa says:

    I GOT MARRIED FOR SEVEN YEARS NO INSURE OF CHILD . SERIOUSLY BATTLE IN MY HOME, MY HUSBAND TOTALLY CHANGE HE TURNED HIS BACK ON ME ALWAYS CAME HOME LATELY AND I KNOW WHAT IT IS FOR SEVEN YEARS NO CHILD I TRIED ALL I CAN TO GET ONE TO MAKE MY HUSBAND HAPPY, ONE DAY I WAS BROWSING WITH MY PHONE AND I SAW SOME FEW POST ON BLOGS AFTER READING. IT WAS SAME PROBLEM I HAD AND I COPIED THE EMAIL I SAW ON THE POST SOME DAYS AFTER I EMAILED DR ULTIMATE WITH EXPLANATION OF MY PROBLEMS ABOUT CHILD. SHE TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY THAT SHE WILL HELP ME SHE ONLY ASK ME SOME FEW WORDS AND I GIVE HER ANSWER. STARTING FROM SAME MONTH I GOT PREGNANT SOME MONTHS AFTER I GOT A CHILD. I SHEARED OUT MY TESTIMONY SHORTLY TO THANKS DR ULTIMATE WHO DONE IT FOR ME BECAUSE I HAS GONE TO SO MANY PLACES AND I BELIEVED SHE WILL ALSO DID YOURS. ULTIMATEHERBALHOME@OUTLOOK.COM

    11.07.15Reply
  105. Tascha says:

    Eva,
    I’ve been through this heartache 5 times now and it doesn’t get easier, but I do have faith that all things happen for a reason. {Hugs} and prayers to you and your family and bless your angel.

    11.09.15Reply
  106. Andrea says:

    Last week at almost 7 weeks along, I lost what I thought was going to be my two under two. Yours is the first honest article I have found that has been helpful to read. Thank you for your honesty and being willing to have the conversation.
    I am trying to be as strong and positive as you through this experience.

    02.03.16Reply
  107. Katrina says:

    In February of last year I found out that my soon to be husband and I were expecting our first child together, my second. Three days after seeing our baby on the ultrasound I got really sick with a virus. My temp got to high and we lost our baby. We had been trying for over a year for this sweet angel and he/she was suddenly gone. Roughly a month later was our wedding and honeymoon and it could not have come at a better time. Time away from life was exactly what I needed at that time, and what we needed together. Fast forward to July and we found out we would be expecting again!!!! Now, in present day, we have 4 weeks from today that our son will be here!!!! Your Rainbow baby will come when the time is right!!! I won’t ever forget my angel baby and cannot wait to meet him/her someday!!! God bless you and your family!!!

    03.03.16Reply
  108. ACC says:

    My husband and I miscarried one week ago on vacation with his parents. It was our first pregnancy and the first baby for both sides of the family. I was paranoid for the whole 7 weeks of the pregnancy that this would be the 15-20% of pregnancies that end in miscarriage.

    Thank you for your original post and thank you to all the men and women who have commented here. I have been scourging the Internet to find some blog or site with encouragement and stories of overcoming miscarriage and going on to have healthy babies. Until now, I have only found medical sites describing this as normal/ natures way of intervening/that most future pregnancies go on to become healthy babies OR blogs covering infertility and the despair of recurrent miscarriage. I so needed the encouragement on this site from men and women who have experienced miscarriage and who have also experienced healthy, happy pregnancies after the miscarriage. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the negative possibilities when that’s all you are finding to read about. “Let go and let God” has been my mantra in past trials and I move forward with the same mantra now. Best wishes and I pray your spirit and heart have healed.

    04.16.16Reply
  109. Dayna says:

    Loyal follower…read this post when It was published months and months ago and as usual I was moved by your openness and honesty. (as tragic as it was as as much as I sympathized of course, I could not relate as a miscarriage was not apart of my story (fast forward to present day below). My life story is so similar to yours its always been so wonderful reading your blog and following along on your momma journey. I get such great ideas for decorating and toddler treats and fun stuff to do. My husband and I have a 2 year old little girl (Carrington) and I was super sure we were done. I’m older and he’s 9 years my senior. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be blessed with a baby as desperately as I wanted one. The one thing I was SURE of in this life…I was meant to be a mom. And then I got my angel baby girl who is beautiful and smart and funny and perfect. Done and Done-
    Enter a romantic night after a midnight bat cruise (where much wine was consumed…YIKES) and a baby was made. We were nervous, freaked, but pretty excited to have a sibling for Carrington, and to for the last time experience a wittle kissable baby. This Saturday I experience some bleeding and decided to go to the ER as I know It can be normal in the first trimester but I never experienced in my first pregnancy and instantly knew something was wrong (woman intuition). Long story short, I miscarried at 9 weeks. Not until I re-read your story this am for comfort did I see the time of loss was the same. My emotions and feelings are literally all over the pace but I (and my husband-who read Kyle’s piece on his side of the miscarriage journey) am finding such comfort in your story. Ironic, that what was just a story I was sad to read (for you and ur family) turned into reality in my world as well. I want to thank you again for your strength and willingness to share your heartache as it is giving me such comfort in the difficult time. Here’s hoping I can have a “pregnancy after miscarriage” story as well. For now, I simply say thanks!! 🙂

    07.18.16Reply
  110. Dayna says:

    Loyal follower…read this post when It was published months and months ago and as usual I was moved by your openness and honesty. (as tragic as it was as much as I sympathized of course, I could not relate as a miscarriage was not apart of my story (fast forward to present day below). My life story is so similar to yours its always been so wonderful reading your blog and following along on your momma journey. I get such great ideas for decorating and toddler treats and fun stuff to do. My husband and I have a 2 year old little girl (Carrington) and I was super sure we were done. I’m older and he’s 9 years my senior. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be blessed with a baby as desperately as I wanted one. The one thing I was SURE of in this life…I was meant to be a mom. And then I got my angel baby girl who is beautiful and smart and funny and perfect. Done and Done-
    Enter a romantic night after a midnight bat cruise (where much wine was consumed…YIKES) and a baby was made. We were nervous, freaked, but pretty excited to have a sibling for Carrington, and to for the last time experience a wittle kissable baby. This Saturday I experience some bleeding and decided to go to the ER as I know It can be normal in the first trimester but I never experienced in my first pregnancy and instantly knew something was wrong (woman intuition). Long story short, I miscarried at 9 weeks. Not until I re-read your story this am for comfort did I see the time of loss was the same. My emotions and feelings are literally all over the pace but I (and my husband-who read Kyle’s piece on his side of the miscarriage journey) am finding such comfort in your story. Ironic, that what was just a story I was sad to read (for you and ur family) turned into reality in my world as well. I want to thank you again for your strength and willingness to share your heartache as it is giving me such comfort in the difficult time. Here’s hoping I can have a “pregnancy after miscarriage” story as well. For now, I simply say thanks!! 🙂

    07.18.16Reply
  111. karla says:

    Dear Eva,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. Yesterday, I went to the doctor for my nine week checkup and didn’t hear a heart beat. This was my second pregnancy. I was devastated. I felt like I was in my worst nightmare. My husband and I came home and read both your husband and your blog posts. It really helped us come to terms with our miscarriage. I just want to say thank you!! Your story touched our heart and made this journey a little easier for us.

    02.16.17Reply