This past weekend we spent a lot of time sorting through our belongings, sensing joy from them–or not– and making huge piles to give away. Overall it felt great to be simplifying our lives (well, as simple as a lifestyle blogger’s life can be…with closets full of entertaining and styling pieces..LOL), but it was a bit bittersweet realizing we have almost no time before we bid farewell to this home of ours for good.
Even though we only spent two and a half years here, they were momentous years in the fabric of our family! Major was born in our Master Bedroom, and we lived through so many ups and downs. I had some of my highest highs and lowest lows. Most importantly, it was the first home our family of four lived in all together– and that makes it endlessly special to me. I’m really excited for this next chapter, but I though I would share a bit about my other feelings about this move– since, like with any life change, it’s not just puppy dogs and rainbows.
When Kyle and I first found out that our offer had been accepted on our new home– and we realized we would need to immediately put our house on the market– I panicked. I felt like I was about to cry all day long, and I couldn’t really articulate why. We had really awesome, capable people helping us through the process, and much of it was out of my hands. So why was I so anxious? I remember sobbing to Kyle that night and realizing for the first time how traumatizing our move from LA to the east coast had been for me. It had happened so suddenly, and we had just found out I was pregnant again after my miscarriage. With Major!
I was feeling so scared in general because of that, but especially vulnerable leaving my best friends and taking my daughter to a new town where we hadn’t even looked at homes yet! We had to pack our house in two days, and then our move out day itself was hectic and stressful. I took Marlowe ahead of Kyle, to a hotel by the airport, while he settled everything with the moving and shipping company. By the time I realized I hadn’t gotten to say a real goodbye to the house, it was already too late.
I brushed this under the rug, since I had so many other emotions going on at the time, and I don’t think I ever really revisited it. When I knew we’d be moving out of another home, it stirred up those emotions all over again. Kyle understood immediately, and we decided that when we did move out, we’d make sure we prioritized time to say goodbye to the house as a family. We plan on spending some time there once all our things are moved out to say a prayer of thanks for the wonderful years the house gave us, and to give a little blessing for the future.
The kids are really excited about creating a beautiful goodbye moment with the house, and I’m glad that I can teach them from this young age how important it is not to underestimate the emotional weight of big changes. I try to ask them every day what they’re going to miss most about this house, and what they’re most excited about with our new house. I want them to know always that just because a change brings excitement, that we don’t have to hide and deflect that sadness that seeps in along with it. It’s all a work in progress, but I’m proud to be handling the move better this time than last!
I’m curious to hear about if you’ve gone through big life changes or moves where you only were able to realize its effects much later. Did you have to heal years down the road? Please share in the comments below!
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Photographs by Julia Dags.