It’s been six months since my breast reduction, and I have so many thoughts. This experience has taught me so much about myself—about my body, my mind, and my relationship to femininity. There’s a lot to unpack. I’d like to do it with you, if you don’t mind. For those who are new here or missed it, in April I bought myself a breast reduction that I had been dreaming about for twenty years. I was terrified. It changed my life.

For those wondering about details, my surgery was performed by Dr. Mahmood in New York City. She performed a reduction (she includes a lift with the reduction), and used only my own breast tissue (no implant). I’ll also mention, since I got asked this about ten thousand times, that I did not have any drains involved in my recovery. The surgery removed about half of my breast tissue. I went from a 32F/G down to a 32C. Now, I’d say my breasts have settled in at a small D cup.

Though I went into great detail with readers about how much I wanted to have smaller, more proportional breasts for my entire adult life– I don’t think I was completely prepared for the massive boost of self esteem and confidence the surgery gave me. Feeling more integrated into my body, and at home in it, is something I will never take for granted ever– and when I see photos of myself pre-surgery I can’t even really believe it. When I first took the bandages off, and saw my chest for the first time as I’d always dreamed for it to be, I felt a sheer euphoria that lasted weeks.

The recovery from my reduction was minimal. I didn’t even use RX pain medicine, and used Tylenol for the first few days, then tapered off. I’d say the worst part was learning to sleep on my back for a little over a month, and not getting great sleep quality for that amount of time. It was super uncomfortable, and started wreaking havoc on my sanity by the end. I felt like I tried nearly everything and anything to get sleep, and ended up having to basically sedate myself with either Benadryl, Tylenol PM, Melatonin, or THC/CBD. Not all at once! LOL

I also experienced some hair loss (I think from the anesthesia?), which was a very unexpected and unwelcome side effect. I’d say that lasted about a month, and has since begun to grow back. On the plus side, my scars aren’t bad at all! Besides a fear of anesthesia, the scarring was one of the main things that kept me from getting this surgery earlier in my life. It’s incredible how unnoticeable they are to me now. I was very strict with the scar protocol that Dr. Mahmood gave me, I wore my compression bras religiously for the first two months, and just generally followed the orders to a T. I’m sure it’s a huge part of why I healed so well. Healing was generally SO much easier than anticipated, and my life and routine are completely back to normal (and have been since about the 3 month mark.) I used to go to the chiropractor regularly to help with back pain from being so front heavy. I haven’t even been there since. I can’t say that a breast reduction solved all my problems, because it certainly didn’t– but if you ask me whether it impacted my life in a meaningful way, the answer would be an emphatic YES.

Overall, it’s been a bit surreal to me that something I had obsessed over, considered and reconsidered a million times, and held on such a pedestal out of my own reach– has since become one of the most simply influential changes I’ve ever made to my life. It has really driven home the belief that the “small things” really do matter, and can truly make a lasting impact on your life if you decide to just go for it. Mostly, it served to remind me that I can do the things I’m terrified of. I think I needed that reminder as much as I needed the reduction itself.

There is another side to this that I want to talk about, though. A side that surprised me as it crept up on me and revealed itself, and one that I would be remiss if I didn’t mention: getting a breast reduction brought back my Body Dysmorphia. I’ve talked a lot about my personal body image journey on this blog, and that it took me many years to be kind to myself and appreciate my body. I will say that pregnancy and becoming a Mom really changed all of that for the better for me personally, and I hadn’t had any true body dysmorphia for at least a decade. After my reduction, I suddenly had an immense anxiety and fear about getting bigger.

I’m someone who gains weight in my chest first. It’s always been like that, and I would experience great size fluctuations in my breasts whenever I would gain or lose weight. “Growing my boobs back” after my reduction was always a fear in the back of my mind before my surgery. After paying for reduced breasts, going through the ordeal of surgery and a long recovery, and finally feeling the elation of breasts the “right size”, I couldn’t think of anything worse than going back to how life used to be. Basically overnight, I found myself hyper-vigilant about my body. During recovery, I’d study myself in the mirror and wonder if my boobs were bigger than they were yesterday. I’d think about what size they were all the time, and analyze how I was fitting into bras or bikinis. Sometimes I’d ask my husband if my boobs looked bigger than they were yesterday (insane). If I was slightly spilling out of a new bra one day, I’d collapse into tears, and google all kinds of crazy things. I focused on wanting to lose some weight to see if my boobs could get smaller on command. I weighed myself more in a week than I have in the last ten years. I started thinking about my body size again in all the negative, patterned ways that I remembered from my youth. All the feelings felt so strange, and out of control, and to be honest, embarrassing. Here I was, a 40 year old Mom of 3 who had just accomplished something so empowering for myself…and now I was obsessing over myself like a teenager. It made me feel terrible, pathetic, and guilty, and I wondered if I had made a huge mistake for my mental health in the long term.

Luckily, I have a surgeon who is so wonderful, patient-focused…and a woman. She understands all these thought patterns, and had a lot to share. Thankfully, she brought my spiral back down to reality. She encouraged me to notice the hormonal pattern of when I felt like my chest was “big”, and lo and behold it would correspond perfectly with getting my period and those minor bloating fluctuations. She shared that so many of her patients go through this kind of body-dysmorphic anxiety after surgery, and the fear of your body (or face) returning to the state it was in before you invested in this huge change. I wasn’t the first and certainly wouldn’t be the last. She also shared the facts with me– that the type of tissue she removed from my body does not just grow back. Over time, I’ve been able to let it go a lot more. I know that as my weight fluctuates hormonally, so will my breasts…because they always have. I’ve begun to worry less about the size my bra is, and pay attention more to how balanced my body feels in its new state. It’s helped me a lot to focus on the non-aesthetic perks of my surgery: better posture, less back pain, easier workouts, more unencumbered movement, better tennis swing…the list is long. I didn’t expect to have to relearn body positivity after plastic surgery, and in my 40’s no less, but I really have. It turns out that achieving your own “perfect” comes with an entirely new set of problems. Go figure! I had heard it said many times about plastic surgery over the years that you can change your appearance, but you can’t change the Inner Voice. This kernel of wisdom always made sense to me on the surface, but I don’t think I fully understood it until now.

The other side of the coin, when you’re blissfully happy, is the question that lurks in the shadows: What if this goes away? This is a thought process that, unfortunately, has stuck with me throughout many phases of my life. Being present, and grateful for the specific moment, has been a lifelong practice for me. I’m not great at it. I prepare for the worst while the best is happening…just in case. I’ve missed out on some joy over the years because of it. I’ve always loved spending time with children because they are simply FANTASTIC at being present in Joy: they don’t question it. As it turns out, my new body gives me a fresh opportunity to practice this kind of presence now, and isn’t that just the gift that keeps on giving?

I’d love to hear from anyone, if they feel comfortable, about experiencing body dysmorphia after plastic surgery. Were there any surprising, negative thought processes that popped up, and how did you deal with them?

Photographs by Julia Dags | Copyright © 2025 Happily Eva After, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Shop The Post…