I love responding to questions like this, because it proves to me that people are very interested both in being honest with themselves about the myriad of feelings involved with parenting, and in testing the waters of being honest with others.  I so respect you for being able to articulate these  (sometimes unpopular) feelings, and for feeling free to share them.  You are already making many other Mothers feel a little less alone!

Which brings me to answering your first and second questions:  YES, that is ok…and YES others feel this way!  Why do you think the Mommy after-hours cliché is a big glass of wine? Ha! In my opinion, Motherhood is one of the absolutely most challenging jobs on the planet– and it can, from time to time, feel pretty thankless.  Of course we love our children unconditionally, and acknowledging our frustrations doesn’t ever take away from that. 

That said, I urge you to work on being able to accept help more freely.  Learning to ask for help (and accepting the STYLE OF help I received) has been my biggest lesson thus far as a parent.  It isn’t easy to have people take things off of your plate, only to do them totally differently than you would have.  Come on over to the “Control Freak” bench, I’m warming a spot for you next to me!  But seriously, once you let go of the details, your world will become a lot more free– because you, my dear, will have more free time! Of course letting people do things “their way” with your precious baby can be terrifying to say the least. I know shifting your perspective on this can be challenging (I’m a work in progress myself) so I’ll put it in some different terms that really helped ME un-clutch a little:

I bet you would like for your little girl to grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted, and easygoing young lady. Right?  I’m sure eventually you would like for her to be an Independent Woman who can roll with the punches, and take care of herself!  I know this is one of my biggest wishes for my own daughter.  So let’s explore the fact that, by being exposed to various “styles” of care by your various family members and dear friends, your daughter will experience many different ways of doing things.  She will see some things that work, some things that don’t work, and some things that are interesting just because they aren’t what she normally sees.  This is good! This will make her a well adjusted little human who will be so rich with knowledge and experience– and that in turn will help her determine how to do things her own way when she’s old enough.  By letting go, you are letting her grow. 

Now what you need to think about next is a specific way you can utilize this help with your daughter to free up well-spent time for yourself!  Something I did when I finally started reintroducing “Me Time” back in to my own life was going to a Matinee.  I got help on a Saturday, went to the theater, bought popcorn, and did absolutely nothing but enjoy myself for a couple hours.  I came home to Marlowe, refreshed and actually excited to parent her for the rest of the day. You work hard and you deserve to invest in yourself a little bit.  Do it, and I promise you will start to feel great!!

I wish you all the best,

xoxo
EAM