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Women Supporting Women

Eva Amurri Martino wears a bright green dress outside her home in Connecticut.

There has been a lot of talk recently in the media about women supporting women, the equal pay fight, reproductive rights, and protection from sexual injustice.  But I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that some of the most disrespected, demoralized, and hurt I’ve been in my own lifetime has been at the hands, and words of other women. 

I was bullied VERY badly as a kid, always by groups of girls.  But as I grew in to an adult I was saddened to learn that more kindness by women towards women does not come with age and maturity.  When I moved on to the Entertainment industry, some of the executives, casting directors, and talent that was the most exclusive and most unhelpful towards women were the female ones! I was shocked.  And then, of course, I became a Mother and dealt with the public and private tragedy of Mom Shaming at its worst: other mothers using their words and actions to try and make me feel ashamed of myself as a woman and as a mother.  I was disgusted to be on the receiving end of all of this woman-on-woman emotional violence (just read some of the comments on this post), and each time I thought to myself: “how powerful could we be if we all put our energy in to lifting each other up instead of bringing each other down?” No wonder it’s so easy for society to discredit and disrespect us, when we do this and worse TO EACH OTHER.  I don’t have a solution– if I did I would have taken it to the streets and to Washington to save womenkind a long time ago. LOL. But I am relieved that culturally we are beginning to recognize that as a Womanhood we stand stronger together, and I’m happy that more and more public figures have denounced practices such as Mom Shaming to hopefully bring light to how destructive it is to all of us. 

One thing I’ve realized, is that the best tool we have towards creating a more loving Womanhood is to support women-run businesses! There are so many incredible women out there creating brands, products, and practices that enrich our community as a whole.  If you want to empower women, support them energetically and financially! It’s always been my practice to put myself behind any endeavors my girlfriends have going on, but I’ve noticed recently that there are tons of women in the blogging industry and beyond who have started to shed a light on ways to support women-run businesses financially– and I would love to join that light beam!  I’m sharing below a few of my favorite ways to lift up the concept of cohesive Womanhood.  Please share any ways you’re committed to supporting other women in the comments below!

Eva Amurri Martino wears a bright green dress outside her home in Connecticut.

1. Don’t Mom Shame

This is hugely important to me.  I’ve been on the receiving end of Mom Shaming both publicly and privately, and it’s so destructive.  I am committed to making sure I don’t degrade other Moms and their ability to parent/their method of parenting– both publicly and privately.  My friends know that I NEVER use the term “bad mom” and that I always try to support them whenever needed in their parenting journey.  You will also never see me champion one parenting style over another on my blog or in my work.  I truly believe that a person has to do what’s best for their own family, and that each family has their own rhythm and “right” way.  Plus, I have my bad days as a Mom and I know that everyone else does too. Remind yourself of your own parental shortcomings before you comment on another person’s situation! Remind yourself that for any information you have about somebody, there is about 99% more information that you don’t have.  Be kind!

Eva Amurri Martino wears a bright green dress outside her home in Connecticut.

2. Hire Moms!

If you’re in a position to be hiring people, hire mothers! I have never been more productive or more creative than I have been since becoming a Mom– and I’m sure other working Moms can agree.  Moms know how to multitask and get sh*t done, and we would all be lucky to have one on our business teams. 

3. Join a Women’s Group

I have an Entrepreneurial Mom group that I’m a part of and it’s been such a gift! The women in the group all lift each other up, support each other’s businesses, and can give great Mom advice that we can all relate to.  There are other types of groups you can join too– baby groups for new Moms, workout groups, book clubs, and womens’ groups for niche interests.  Don’t be shy: seek other women out and start a monthly get together! Just make sure that everyone in the group is committed to it being a positive, community building, and supportive environment.  If you find that people are making catty comments or putting other people down regularly in the group, speak to them about changing their attitude– or leave yourself!

Eva Amurri Martino wears a bright green dress outside her home in Connecticut.

4. Speak Kindly To Yourself

Treating women respectfully begins with you.  Be conscious of how you speak to yourself silently, of what you think of yourself, and of the type of words you use to describe yourself around others.  Actively choose kind words and supportive language.  You get to choose to speak to yourself however you want– make sure you’re giving yourself the kindness you deserve. 

5. Buy From Women!

It’s important to support women financially also.  Below is a list of women-run businesses that I am personally a consumer of:

Please let me know if there are any other fabulous women-run businesses to add to the list! I’m sure I forgot lots that I use as well, so I will add to the list as I remember!

Eva Amurri Martino wears a bright green dress outside her home in Connecticut.

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Photographs by Julia Dags.

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26 Comments

  1. Laura says:

    YES. Just YES. Kindness and empathy, baby!

    08.28.18Reply
  2. Olivia says:

    Gugu Guru is all mom-run and so proud!

    08.28.18Reply
  3. Elizabeth Hecker says:

    Tata Harper!

    08.28.18Reply
  4. This is SO important. I run my own blog and it’s been so eye-opening how many women don’t support other women. I run a film blog, so it’s a different monster, but I feel such a lack of support by mainly other women in my area. It’s sad really.

    I’ve been trying so hard to have female guest writers, but I think far too many of us our only interested in the benefit for ourselves. We have to be better.

    08.28.18Reply
  5. Glenda says:

    Yes!!! I was raised if you don’t have anything good to say… think before you say it! Nowadays, people just hide behind a keyboard and have zero filter.

    08.28.18Reply
    • Totally agree. And what they don’t realize is that being so ugly publicly is so hurtful to themselves energetically! It can’t feel good to tear somebody else down at all. What’s the point?

      08.28.18Reply
  6. KayVee says:

    I agree that we’re stronger together!

    I cloth diaper my toddler and the company is woman founded, owned and run. (Plus the diapers are super cute!) GroVia diapers.

    I’m a member of a women’s only beer appreciation group. I rarely go now that I have a kid but it was a great place to meet other women and have a relaxing hang out over drinks.

    The key is to approach people and situations with kindness and empathy and hopefully you get it back in spades.

    08.28.18Reply
    • oh that sounds so fun! You should definitely go back again! xx

      08.29.18Reply
  7. Annie says:

    Yes yes yes! Here’s a great t-shirt from a locally owned and female run business – https://siemprevivaclothing.com/collections/clothes-1/products/babes-support-babes
    “Babes Support Babes”
    <3

    08.28.18Reply
  8. Jill says:

    Buddha teaches, before speaking, ask these 3 questions. Only if all 3 are yeses, should you speak it
    1.) Is it kind?
    2.) Is it necessary?
    3.) Is it true?

    These are such wise filters! There would be a lot less talking! 😆😆😆 But the talking that remained would be quality! It would uplift, energize, and heal. Every candle that is lit dispels more of the darkness. TY for lighting your candle @thehappilyevaafter ❤️❤️❤️

    08.28.18Reply
  9. B says:

    A problem that has been around for hundreds of years. It saddens me. As time marches on- this remains status quo.

    08.28.18Reply
  10. Francesca says:

    Kosmatology (local from Monroe by Janis covey a pharmacist turn skin care line chick! Check out my interview with her at on IG@greenglamgirl

    08.28.18Reply
  11. Ryan says:

    We can all do more to support each other and these are great resources! One comment as someone without kids though- why not say “hire women” instead of “hire moms”? Saying that moms do better job multitasking or taking care of business than those of us without kids is another way we women judge each other. You never know someone else’s circumstances and regardless of whether we have kids, we all have the ability to kick some serious you-know-what! 💪🏽 😘

    08.28.18Reply
    • I said Moms because Mothers and pregnant women are often discriminated against in the workplace. Employers assume they will be complicated employees because of childcare issues etc. It’s terrible!

      08.29.18Reply
  12. Cari says:

    Hi Eva – longtime follower, first time commenter.. I work for a woman named Lacie who works a full time job in the aerospace industry and also owns (and employs women/moms at) a candle company in Washington state. I’d be thrilled if you read about how our company came to be and to check out our “real life” labels about being a mom, woman, crafter, and general bad ass chick. I’d love to send you some candles, we’ve got some amazing fall scents coming!!

    Cari

    https://maliciouswomenco.com

    08.28.18Reply
  13. Becky says:

    I am lucky to own my own business (two JoyRide fitness studios in Texas), and work closely with the mom-owned and created JoyRide Cycling + Fitness studios in Westport/Darien/Wilton/Ridgefield. We have an incredible internal culture that supports moms as instructors, managers and clients! I am grateful every day to be surrounded by bad ass moms!! Bravo, love this post!

    08.29.18Reply
  14. April says:

    Thanks for sharing this post! I do my best to consciously appreciate women and men alike. Another great organization to add to your list is Go Aunt Flow, a nonprofit based out of Columbus, Ohio that aims to provide menstrual products to all people. Created by women, for women. Here’s the link!
    https://www.goauntflow.com/

    08.29.18Reply
  15. Mary says:

    Mom shaming stinks and it can come from anyone, it can even derive from one woman’ s spouse whether a woman or a man! No mother is too confident that they are doing everything perfect for their kids so guilt is heavy enoug for mothers on it’s own.All women (and men as well) should realize that momshaming a mother about a real or a supposed failure is just a stupid brutal act cause a) it doesnt teach you anything and b)it only satisfies someone’s lowest instincts.I ve heard about momshaming women who work and hire help (which obviously is ridiculous) but what about momshaming stay-at-home moms ? yes, this is exacly what happened to me and it came from a neighbor pretty much my age (41) with three kids! I happened to accidentaly overhear her from my balcony discussing on the street with my mil and asking her why I still did not go back to my job (my son is 30 months old and I had the possibility and chose to extend my maternity leave without payment cause I would have to travel back and forth many hours) in a way like : she doesnt like to work huh ? meaning that I deprive my family from a much useful extra income. I really dont know how I managed to hold myself and not throw something heavy down from that balcony. lol! Another way of supporting other women is by really listening each other and stop talking only about ourselves.I run when I see women obsessed with themselves and babble constantly about their lives and kids while paying no attention to other women they are having a discussion with.

    08.29.18Reply
    • Ugh I’m so sorry that you had that experience!

      08.29.18Reply
  16. Nicole says:

    Great post!!

    A couple of other women owned businesses to consider adding to your list:

    Birdling Bags
    Nomies Kids (shoes)
    Mon Petit Shoes
    Gathre (mats, tablecloths, bibs)

    08.31.18Reply